One interesting outcome of choosing to make a life in Kiryat Sefer, rather than Baltimore where I grew up, is dealing with visits from our parents. Among my English-speaking friends in Eretz Yisrael, these tend to be rare events but ones that are accompanied by much anxiety and preparation. You see, when your parents live nearby, they get to know you much better. They know the ins and outs of your life; they know your quirks and your children’s quirks; and they hopefully come to accept it all as a package deal. But when they live far away and only come to visit once a year or even more infrequently, things work quite differently. Although all young adults have to learn to negotiate the in-law relationship, living far away and experiencing long periods of little interaction interspersed with short periods of intense interaction presents special challenges.

As the month of Elul rapidly approaches, we all begin a period of introspection. True, this month is specially designated for teshuva, but in essence, teshuva is an ongoing process, 365 days per year. I find that Hashem sends us opportunities all year long, through mundane daily occurrences, to examine our deeds. Below are just a few such reminders that I had this year.

The Dentist

There are certain things that need to be done yet always seem to get pushed off. One of them is dental appointments. There’s something about going to the dentist that scares away even the bravest non-procrastinators. Well, next week, the Matskin family is going to do it! We are going to our yearly (rather, our should-be-yearly) dental check-ups. 

Ask women what is the most stressful time of year and many will tell you “Erev Pesach.” We all have our methods of madness that determine how we handle the situation. There are those who start months in advance and those who wait for the last minute. Some women work randomly, while others work by their carefully plotted schedules and lists. I am one of the latter. I really don’t do well with the carefree, relaxed approach to making Pesach. I’m definitely not a last-minute person and like to feel in control of the situation. Well, as my grandmother used to say, “Man plans, and G-d laughs.” (It sounds better in Yiddish.)

Nissan, 2008. I had diligently worked my way through all the cleaning, culminating in an intense motza’ei Shabbos and Sunday of The Kitchen. Sunday night, we finally finished. What a good feeling! The kitchen was all cleaned, scrubbed, and scoured; ready for the massive line-the-counters/cabinets/etc. project, which would commence the following morning. We settled down for a night of well deserved sleep. Four a.m., the phone rang. It was my husband’s little sister informing us that their mother had passed away. 

I’m sure you’re all familiar with the classic Chol Hamo’ed what-should-we-do syndrome. It’s not easy to find an activity or trip that satisfies an entire family of different ages and stages while at the same time satisfying the parents’ financial considerations. Growing up, our family went through the same debate every Chol Hamo’ed. At one point, my mother made a rule that the children had to discuss it and agree on a trip the night before. I don’t remember it ever really working. Usually, at some point, my father would just tell everyone to get in the car, and he’d start driving. We’d eventually find something interesting – or we wouldn’t.

Making the move from the town of my youth, Baltimore, to my new home in Kiryat Sefer, has been not only a huge physical jump but a huge jump in mentality and culture as well. Most people think of Kiryat Sefer as a cross between Meah Shearim and the European shtetl of old. In reality, Kiryat Sefer is a vibrant and lovely place to live, one that meets all the physical and spiritual needs of its residents. Come, let’s take a look at the city I love.

Kiryat Sefer was started in 1993 as a response to the severe housing shortage in the religious communities of Eretz Yisrael. The city is unique in that it was built from the start to be a Torah community. One hundred percent of its residents are frum, and its streets are named after sefarim; hence the name Kiryat Sefer! It began as a small town in the Western part Israel equidistant to Yerushalayim and Bnai Brak. Over the years, many other neighborhoods were built adjacent to Kiryat Sefer, such as Brachfeld, Green Park, Neot Hapisga, and Kiryat Avi Ezri. In 2008, all these neighborhoods, along with Moshav Matisyahu, part of Chashmonaim village, and some other surrounding villages, were joined together to form the new city, Modiin Ilit (Upper Modiin, not to be confused with the nearby secular city of Modiin). Because Kiryat Sefer was the original neighborhood, many people still refer to the whole city as Kiryat Sefer.