Who should travel for a first date? Should it be the young man, or the young woman? Lately, this has become one of the most frequently asked questions by those who are in the shidduch parsha. Parents, young women, and bachurim are all asking this question and wondering what is the appropriate, right, and fair thing to do when deciding who should be the one to shoulder the burden of traveling for a first date.
To begin with, I would like to say that it is not my goal to definitively answer this question one way or the other, because the real answer is – it depends. As no two situations are exactly the same and no two people are exactly the same, there is no one answer that will fit every situation and every couple. Therefore, what I hope to accomplish is to lay out some of the various concerns and considerations on both sides of this matter. The more that each side can appreciate where the other is coming from, the better equipped everyone will be to make a fully informed decision and, more importantly, b’ezras Hashem, for each side to feel respected and appreciated when this question arises.