Giving Care, Needing Care The Shomrei Ahuvim Support Group


brain

Chanah loves her father deeply. She does her best to honor him and has always tried to be open and honest. She loves him so much that this afternoon she is deliberately telling him a lie.

Boruch is learning with his rebbe. He is not learning from his rebbe, rather, he is the one doing the teaching. Today he is showing his rebbe how to find Shema and Shemoneh Esrei in a siddur.

Yaakov has always been devoted to his evening learning sessions with his chavrusa. He is careful to let nothing interfere with this long-term commitment. Tonight he is staying home to spend some time with his wife.


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The 28th of Iyar An Excerpt


six day war

Editor’s Note: Rabbi Emanuel Feldman, on sabbatical from his Atlanta pulpit in 1967, was living in Bnei Brak and teaching at Bar Ilan University. Rabbi Feldman’s daily journal of the tense weeks before the Six Day War and during the war itself was published soon after. The dramatic story of an American family living through the frantic and historical days of June 1967, the book has been republished by Feldheim in advance of the 50th anniversary of the war.


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Ordinary Heroes: Fear, Unity, Victory


bombers

It’s hard to believe that 50 years have gone by since the emotion-laden days of June, 1967. Anyone old enough to recall the Six Day War will remember the unbearable tension in the weeks before the outbreak of fighting. President Gamal Abdel Nasser of Egypt and other Arab leaders held no politically-correct inhibitions preventing them from announcing what they planned to do. As one typical Radio Cairo announcement declared, “All Egypt is now prepared to plunge into total war which will put an end to Israel.” With his blockade of the Straits of Tiran, at the entrance to the Red Sea, and the massing of Egyptian troops on the Sinai border, there was no reason not to believe Nasser’s intentions. In Israel, there was a real fear that Israel’s Arab neighbors would join together to fulfill the old threat to “drive the Jews into the sea.”


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Aveilus


It has been over six months since the petira of my mother, Greta Schlossberg, Gelah bas Ze’ev, a”h. I experienced a year of aveilus (mourning) when my father passed away 15 years earlier, and now I am in the year of aveilus for my mom.

The purpose of this article is to discuss general issues on the practice of aveilus and describe my experience. However, I would like to stress, before I begin, the importance of always discussing any questions and issues with one’s own rav to receive proper guidance on halacha and minhag. In Pirkei Avos it is said, “Asei lecha rav – Establish a rav for yourself. A strong relationship and rapport with one’s rabbi is always important, but it is during aveilus, especially, that one needs clarity on how to observe it properly.


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Tax Disasters


Every once in a while, I see someone in a tax pickle for which there is no solution. The “pickles” may differ, but there is one common denominator: Most of the time you did it to yourself. Naturally, it is extra painful when you realize that you have only yourself to blame for the mess. Here are some examples of situations that can happen when you least expect them.

The Earned Income Credit

This is a classic. The earned income credit is the great money giveaway. Essentially, if you are poor with children, you will get back extra money – lots extra. Let’s take the following case: Family A has three children and an income of $25,000. They will be handed a gift by the government: $10,445, to be exact. Yes, over $10,000 in free money! There is a catch, however: Your investment income (interest, dividends, and capital gains) must be under $3,400.


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Our Residency Adventure


Sitting in the darkened theater next to my husband, I watched the school staff ceremoniously draw one envelope after another from the large decorative chest in the middle of the Hippodrome stage and call out a name. The tension in the room was thick. Each student walked to the stage to retrieve his or her envelope and read the long-awaited contents out loud. Finally, after waiting for over an hour, we heard my husband’s name. To the accompaniment of a fast-paced song, my husband and four-year-old son ran on stage to be congratulated and to receive his envelope. He quickly ripped it open and whispered something to my son, who then yelled, “VCU Richmond!” into the microphone. The words reverberated around the room, and my heartbeat quickened as I tried to make sense of what I had heard. The next hour felt surreal. We called and texted our family and close friends to let them know the news: We would be spending the next three years of our lives in Richmond, Virginia!


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Finding the Right Words : How to Field Shidduch Calls and Conduct Effective Research


jewish dating

Last month, we primarily discussed how crucial it is to be sure that when one is presented with a shidduch idea for feedback one’s response is substantive and thoughtful, and never purely reactionary. We concluded by noting that the most proper way to make decisions about a shidduch is via meaningful information that comes as a result of appropriate shidduch research.

Fair Warning and Keeping Current

Now that we have reached the topic of shidduch research, there are a number of items I would like to share regarding how to do so successfully. The first items pertain to the single young men and women themselves and their parents. From there, we will move into a number of matters concerning those receiving shidduch calls, including how to best respond to the questions one has been asked and how to properly present the information one is asked about. This series will continue in the upcoming issue of the Where What When, where we will conclude with a discussion relating to those making shidduch research calls, and how to do so most productively.


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Why Worry?


amoliker yid

Worrying is part and parcel of the Jewish mother’s psyche. We worry about ISIS taking over the world, and we worry that the sanitation workers will forget to take our recycling. If Moshe gets a tooth at the early age of three months, we worry if that tooth will be healthy. If Shloimy has no teeth at eight months, we worry once again.

Esty is so busy socializing with her many friends, she won’t do well in school. On the other hand, Baila has so few friends that we worry about her social standing. We worry that Chaim is working too hard, putting in overtime at his new job, and we worry about Yitzchak, who only has a part-time job and a family to support.


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Mekubal or Con Artist? Don’t Get Fooled


mekubal

What would you say if I told you a “holy man” had promised me I was set to win the lottery as long as I gave $25,000 to tzedaka? Not convinced? Well, what if I told you that this “mekubal” also happens to know some very deserving people I could give my money to? And not only that, he’d even distribute the funds for me! So what do you say? Are you ready to chip in with me? After all, what’s $25,000 when we’re set to win $1.5 million?

While you and I greet these claims with a healthy dose of skepticism, many people, unfortunately, take the bait and are conned out of their life’s savings — or worse! What is it about these frauds masquerading as “mekubalim” that enables them to hoodwink rational, intelligent people? Is it possible for ordinary people to discern the difference between a bona fide mekubal and a con artist?


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Who Has Time to Retire?


cooking

Lucky me that we had that ice storm back in March! Otherwise it would have been a real challenge to catch up with any one of my very active interviewees before my article deadline. Most likely, they wouldn’t have been home; not because they work – since some of them are retired – but because their days are now, perhaps, fuller than ever. What are all those baby boomers and traditionalists so busy with? Here is a sampling of just some of our friends and neighbors and what they are up to.


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