Summary: Tzipora and Yehuda try to manage their reactions to advice-giving and other comments by family and friends in the first weeks after Rafael’s birth, and are helped immensely by their visit to Rav Shmuel Yaakov Weinberg, zt”l, as well as their conversations with other empathetic mentors. The bris is postponed as the baby is hospitalized to stabilize his body temperature. The next step is a urologic examination to determine whether he could have a bris at all. Anticipating trouble, Tzipora brings her father and Rabbi Taub, zt”l, to the appointment, where Rabbi Taub proves to the smug doctor that all is well. The day of the bris finally arrives. It is a happy occasion, full of simcha and brachos.

As soon as the festivities of the bris were over, reality set in. Yehuda’s parents and brother made their exit by highlighting all the special needs supports Rafael Shlomo Boruch could have in a more sophisticated city such as New York. Others wanted to know our game plan for raising Rafael.

This was when I began to focus on the lessons from Tehilim (Psalms) that my twelfth grade teacher, Mrs. Shira Shapiro, taught. One lesson from perek 19 stood out. The perek discusses how the creations in the world give praise to Hashem by doing exactly what He wants each to do, and the creations do Hashem’s will in harmony. No creation is trying to outdo the other or trying to put the other creation in its place. Dovid Hamelech (King David) continues to state that we (klal Yisrael) need to see this as an example of the greatness of the Torah and copy this behavior. Knowing the essence of this perek has been a source of hope for me about Rafael. It made me understand that Hashem created Rafael; therefore, Rafael had a tachlis, a purpose in this world.

It started innocently enough. My grandson was getting married in Yerushalayim, and the Benyowitz Bunch started thinking about traveling from Baltimore and celebrating together. A very normal occurrence and a very normal reaction; any frum family would think the same. However, this is a close-knit family of parents, grandparents, and 13 children!

  Yirmiyahu and Esther Miriam Benyowitz, the awesome parents of the chasan, had already made chasanas for their son Mordechai and daughter Bracha, plus a bar mitzva for son Tzvi Hirsh within the last six months. Now they decided that all 13 children would be in attendance at

Summary: Last month, Yehuda and Tzipora Frager wrote of the unexpectedly early birth of their son while attending a Shabbaton in Tennessee. When the premature infant was diagnosed with Down syndrome, they were distressed not only by the diagnosis but also by the insensitivity of the staff, who tried to convince them to leave the baby at the hospital. On the other hand, they were buoyed by the in-person brachos from Harav and Rebbetzin Gifter, and grateful for the support of their family and the help of Dr. Steven Caplan, their pediatrician in Baltimore.

Although I was overjoyed to be in Baltimore with my baby boy, I felt a sense of foreboding. In the Knoxville hospital, the TV was on in the room, and I was alone nursing my son, two nights after he was born. The program was suddenly interrupted with a special announcement about the Americans in Iran who had been taken hostage by Iranian students over two weeks ago. The announcer reported that the United Nations had rejected the United States’ plea to condemn the Iranians, who were threatening to put the hostages on trial. I felt my world crumbling, because I had never experienced a large group of my countrymen so helpless, with the strongest super power not able to help them. I really believed Moshiach (the Messiah) would arrive any minute, because of the anxiety I was feeling, personally and globally. I fervently davened (prayed) for Moshiach, because I wanted my son to be cured from Down syndrome – I wanted no one to suffer anymore.

It was erev Shabbos and the suits of
two of my sons were at the cleaners. My husband was going out so I asked him to please pick them up. Knowing that he had a lot on his mind, I reminded him two or three times before he left.

  A half an hour before Shabbos, my kids were getting ready. “Tatti, did you pick up my suit?”
  “Uh-oh! I forgot to go to the cleaners.” In my frustration, I was ready to say, “That’s why I kept reminding you, so you wouldn’t forget! Now they have nothing to wear