Page 92 - Issue4-November2017_online_opt
P. 92
broken glass. A war of words ensued means) that after he made a purchase, help. Some shul members heard his
as each man blamed the other. They something was usually fahrzetst (messed screams and the lights suddenly went
cleaned up the mess and headed back to up). If he brought home fish, the fish had on. Hatzalah was notified, and Label was
the warehouse. They now faced the head a nasty odor. If he purchased a suit, it had taken to the hospital.
macher (boss) Ignaz Crocker, who lost a defect, such as a missing pocket. If he
his cool, slammed the desk with his hand bought a tire for his car, it had a crooked His arm was x-rayed and, miracle of
and shouted, “I’ve had enough of you rim, and so forth. A real shlumazel. miracles, there was no break. He went
Semites! Both of you are fired!” home downhearted with his fahrzetst
Label went to shul every morning and, mazel (bad luck).
Although, they had previously never although usually late, one morning he
gotten along, Sam and Abdul now real- awoke on time. Aah glick hawt mihr get- Now, Label had been playing the lot-
ized that somewhere and somehow they rofen (I’m lucky), he thought. Delight- tery for many years, and his losses totaled
were related. After all, their former boss ed at his accomplishment, he dressed big bucks, so to speak. For some myste-
called them Semites. A miracle of mira- and headed for the shul. Upon entering rious reason, in his bizarre thinking as
cles occurred when the two antagonists the sanctuary, he noticed a problem: no a shlumazel, it was the time to punish
discussed the incident and invited each electricity, no lights. The Gas and Elec- himself again! He notified his gambling
another to his home. tric Company is full of anti-Semites, he broker, Gilmore A. Goniv, and placed a
thought. lottery number with him. Miracle of mir-
Several months passed, and one day acles occurred, because he won big!
a new glass company was formed by the Although the place was dark, Label
name of, yes, Kupdrayer and Ahnut Glass walked towards his usual seat, his ma- Gleefully, Label began singing “…
Works! Their luck was batting zero, and kom kavuah. So what could go wrong? When the odds are saying you’ll never
they got up off the floor! Mashiach ap- You may ask. Don’t ask, but I’ll tell you win, that’s when the grin should start!”
peared to be on his way! anyway. He tripped on a chair that some and he was he grinning from ear to ear!
nudnik left in the center of the floor, fell He thanked the Ribono Shel Olam (G-d),
When The Odds Are Sayin’ You’ll Nev- down, and injured his arm – nisht fahr and a few weeks later, he became the pres-
er Win uns gedacht (it shouldn’t happen to us)! ident of the Ahnshey Mazel Congregation.
Label A. Feller was nebech a person who
lacked good mazel. Doss hayst (that “Nuts,” uttered Label. “That’s it; no Ah klal (indeed), to be a mentch, doss
more shul!” and he began yelling for hayst (that means) to be fulfilled as a tru-
ly good person, you gotta have heart.u
(Poupko from page 80) than anything you would have prepared cook it. I think it would be a wise business
You see, in the past, my valet-parking at home. This makes the whole valet/su- decision on the part of the esteemed own-
permarket thing very unnerving. Not only ers of these food establishments to greet
experiences were followed by something the passengers of any car with an out-of-
town license plate with a tray of franks n’
I think it would be a wise blanks as well as a complimentary drink. A
business decision on the part cocktail napkin inscribed with the parking
of the esteemed owners of number should then be tucked under the
these food establishments wiper blade. This would certainly make
to greet the passengers of this difficult transition a little more palat-
any car with an out-of-town able (in both senses of the word!).
license plate with a tray of franks n’ blanks as
well as a complimentary drink. A cocktail If there is a silver lining to this story,
napkin inscribed with the parking number it is that driving in Brooklyn has, believe
should then be tucked under the wiper blade. it or not, made me less judgmental, even
though it did raise my blood pressure. In
like walking into a wedding hall, where are you entering a store where you have the past, I always took it as a joke when
you’re greeted with a surplus of gastro- to pay for your food, but, to add insult to I saw the bumper sticker that says, “If
nomical delights that are clearly better injury, you then have to take it home and you don’t like my driving, then stay off
the sidewalk.” Now, I realize there’s some
truth to it. Just as not every place has
parking lots at their supermarkets, so,
too, not every place uses their sidewalks
only for walking. If I ever move to Brook-
lyn, I think I’ll produce a bumper sticker
that says, “If you don’t like my driving on
the sidewalk, you must be from out-of-
town. Have a great day!”u
84 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
as each man blamed the other. They something was usually fahrzetst (messed screams and the lights suddenly went
cleaned up the mess and headed back to up). If he brought home fish, the fish had on. Hatzalah was notified, and Label was
the warehouse. They now faced the head a nasty odor. If he purchased a suit, it had taken to the hospital.
macher (boss) Ignaz Crocker, who lost a defect, such as a missing pocket. If he
his cool, slammed the desk with his hand bought a tire for his car, it had a crooked His arm was x-rayed and, miracle of
and shouted, “I’ve had enough of you rim, and so forth. A real shlumazel. miracles, there was no break. He went
Semites! Both of you are fired!” home downhearted with his fahrzetst
Label went to shul every morning and, mazel (bad luck).
Although, they had previously never although usually late, one morning he
gotten along, Sam and Abdul now real- awoke on time. Aah glick hawt mihr get- Now, Label had been playing the lot-
ized that somewhere and somehow they rofen (I’m lucky), he thought. Delight- tery for many years, and his losses totaled
were related. After all, their former boss ed at his accomplishment, he dressed big bucks, so to speak. For some myste-
called them Semites. A miracle of mira- and headed for the shul. Upon entering rious reason, in his bizarre thinking as
cles occurred when the two antagonists the sanctuary, he noticed a problem: no a shlumazel, it was the time to punish
discussed the incident and invited each electricity, no lights. The Gas and Elec- himself again! He notified his gambling
another to his home. tric Company is full of anti-Semites, he broker, Gilmore A. Goniv, and placed a
thought. lottery number with him. Miracle of mir-
Several months passed, and one day acles occurred, because he won big!
a new glass company was formed by the Although the place was dark, Label
name of, yes, Kupdrayer and Ahnut Glass walked towards his usual seat, his ma- Gleefully, Label began singing “…
Works! Their luck was batting zero, and kom kavuah. So what could go wrong? When the odds are saying you’ll never
they got up off the floor! Mashiach ap- You may ask. Don’t ask, but I’ll tell you win, that’s when the grin should start!”
peared to be on his way! anyway. He tripped on a chair that some and he was he grinning from ear to ear!
nudnik left in the center of the floor, fell He thanked the Ribono Shel Olam (G-d),
When The Odds Are Sayin’ You’ll Nev- down, and injured his arm – nisht fahr and a few weeks later, he became the pres-
er Win uns gedacht (it shouldn’t happen to us)! ident of the Ahnshey Mazel Congregation.
Label A. Feller was nebech a person who
lacked good mazel. Doss hayst (that “Nuts,” uttered Label. “That’s it; no Ah klal (indeed), to be a mentch, doss
more shul!” and he began yelling for hayst (that means) to be fulfilled as a tru-
ly good person, you gotta have heart.u
(Poupko from page 80) than anything you would have prepared cook it. I think it would be a wise business
You see, in the past, my valet-parking at home. This makes the whole valet/su- decision on the part of the esteemed own-
permarket thing very unnerving. Not only ers of these food establishments to greet
experiences were followed by something the passengers of any car with an out-of-
town license plate with a tray of franks n’
I think it would be a wise blanks as well as a complimentary drink. A
business decision on the part cocktail napkin inscribed with the parking
of the esteemed owners of number should then be tucked under the
these food establishments wiper blade. This would certainly make
to greet the passengers of this difficult transition a little more palat-
any car with an out-of-town able (in both senses of the word!).
license plate with a tray of franks n’ blanks as
well as a complimentary drink. A cocktail If there is a silver lining to this story,
napkin inscribed with the parking number it is that driving in Brooklyn has, believe
should then be tucked under the wiper blade. it or not, made me less judgmental, even
though it did raise my blood pressure. In
like walking into a wedding hall, where are you entering a store where you have the past, I always took it as a joke when
you’re greeted with a surplus of gastro- to pay for your food, but, to add insult to I saw the bumper sticker that says, “If
nomical delights that are clearly better injury, you then have to take it home and you don’t like my driving, then stay off
the sidewalk.” Now, I realize there’s some
truth to it. Just as not every place has
parking lots at their supermarkets, so,
too, not every place uses their sidewalks
only for walking. If I ever move to Brook-
lyn, I think I’ll produce a bumper sticker
that says, “If you don’t like my driving on
the sidewalk, you must be from out-of-
town. Have a great day!”u
84 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
