Dear Dr. Weisbord,

I am very overwhelmed. This happens to me every summer when the kids are out of school. I don’t come from a frum family, and grew up in a two-child, calm and organized home. It is very hard for me to deal with the chaos, noise, and mess of six children under the age of 11. I do okay during the year, but when the children are home all the time, it’s extremely difficult. I really, really need those few hours to myself, when they’re in school, but it’s not possible. We can’t afford to send the children to camp. Since most of the other children in the neighborhood are in camp, my kids spend the day around the house, getting bored and fighting with each other. I know I could go places and do creative projects with them, but I don’t have the energy. The house is a mess. It’s impossible to make order, and even when I do, it falls apart in a few minutes.

Dear Dr. Weisbord,

I have a 14-year-old daughter, the oldest of many children. We have a relatively peaceful house – at least we did until she started acting up. Getting her up every morning is a screaming battle. She sleeps late and misses her ride, then demands that I take her to school. We have brought up our children to help for Shabbos. Everyone pitches in to get ready. But this teenager finds a way to get out of helping. Usually, she claims a stomachache. She manages to avoid whatever I ask her to do. She also can’t be bothered with her family in other ways. She has friends in school and talks to them at night and gets together with them. But she rolls her eyes at any suggestion or activity that we do as a family.

Dear Dr. Weisbord,

My daughter is in her early 20s. She went the normal route of the children of our community, and never had any particular problems. She got good grades, has friends, and generally gets along with others. She finished high school and studied in a seminary after high school. When she returned, she tried to find a job, but nothing came through. Even though there are job opportunities, she always has some excuse for not applying and, if she does apply, does not follow through and has not been successful in finding a job.        

I would think that she would be motivated to work, because there are many things I cannot provide for her from my income, but that does not seem to be incentive enough for her to find a job. No job or career preparation that I suggest appeals to her. I think this behavior is very damaging to her confidence and will also be bad for her image when it comes time for shidduchim.

Dear Dr. Weisbord,

Our youngest son is in elementary school and not doing well. He has a slight learning disability and is perhaps a little awkward. He is teased by the other children, to the point that he doesn’t want to go to school. We have a huge fight every morning to get him out the door, with lots of yelling and tears. He also refuses to go to shul on Shabbos, because the same kids torment him there.

The school is giving us a hard time. They are very critical, and make me feel inadequate as a parent. Their latest suggestion is to sign him up for a social skills class.

We’ve all been there, haven’t we? We take our seat at an important dinner and realize we know absolutely no one at the table. It feels awkward, intimidating, downright uncomfortable – what do we do or say now? If we have life’s basic people skills, we’ll be fine. The awkwardness will pass in seconds, we’ll assess the situation, tell ourselves it’s an opportunity to meet new people, and begin the introductions. Within seconds, our social skills will kick in and we can even have a good time.

Dear Dr. Weisbord,

I always thought that when the children got married and left home, my husband and I would have more time together. Well, that is our situation now, but we are both still very busy – with work, grandchildren, and life in general – so we decided we would go out together once a month, just the two of us.

On our first date night, we went to a quiet restaurant. Everything was going well, and then I noticed that my husband was checking his phone. I was shocked. I didn’t react the first time, but when it happened again, I said, “Is the phone more interesting than I am?” He explained that no, of course I am more interesting than the people who are emailing him, but he feels that if someone is trying to reach him, he has to be there for them.