Avrohom Reuvein ben Shimon Yitzchok, a”h
Considering the recent N’shei event honoring some of our devoted heads of gemachim, I thought this would be opportune time to express long overdue thanks to Mrs. Miryom Edelson, of the Share-a-Ride Gemach, and to the kind drivers who assisted us this past Hoshana Rabba. I hope that this letter will also serve to encourage others to participate in this relatively easy and worthy chesed. This would surely be a zechus l’iluy nishmas Avrohom Reuvein ben Shimon Yitzchok, my brother, who benefited from this wonderful gemach, bringing joy to his last Simchas Torah, as you will see.
Mrs. Edelson asked me to publicize this story as she, as well as many Baltimoreans, knew my brother. R’ Avrohom Reuvein Askovitz, a”h, who passed away this past 5 Kislev, was a devoted talmid of Rav Ruderman, z”tl, and the esteemed Ner Yisroel rebbeim, in the seventies. R’ Avrohom put his heart and soul into organizing and printing many Torah thoughts of Rav Ruderman, and with the encouragement of the hanhala of the Yeshiva, produced the sefarim Masas Levi and, recently, Sichos Avodas Levi.
R’ Avrohom dedicated his life to learning, serving Hashem, and rejoicing wholeheartedly in the simchos of others. He faced various difficult yissurim, such as severe scoliosis, and did not marry or have a family of his own, despite wanting to. Nonetheless, he kept busy. He led a productive life of learning, attending shiurim, taking diligent notes, and recording Torah, doing many quiet chasadim, such as helping numerous talmidei chachamim to edit the sefarim they were producing. Many chaveirim here in Baltimore can attest that he would regularly call hundreds of friends and relatives to wish them happiness on their personal occasions, such as birthdays and anniversaries, including, with his phenomenal memory, the birthdays of their children and grandchildren. He had scores of friends, of all ages, and was beloved in his building in Lakewood, where he would greet all of the children by name. He would do small kindnesses daily, such as bringing all of the packages left in the front lobby by the UPS man to the door of each young family.
The last two-and-a-half years of his life he fought valiantly against illness, and it seemed that he might, in the doctor’s words, “beat the odds.” But shortly before this past Sukkos, the doctors, sadly, had nothing left to try.
A sudden need arose on Leil Hoshana Rabba for someone to travel to Lakewood to stay with him at Leisure Chateau over the last days of Yom Tov, for “moral support.” My sister was on her way to Baltimore from Brooklyn, when we realized that she’d be the best one to do this. Mrs. Edelson jumped into action and found her a ride for Hoshana Rabba morning. She impressed upon the offering family the urgency of this mitzva. The family went out of their way to fit my sister into their crowded minivan. Their only request was for help with their tight time schedule and for a quiet ride as the father had been up at night learning. My sister was exhausted from a late night discussion on how to be mechazek R’ Avrohom and pondering what subtle and uplifting words could help him face his heart-wrenching, difficult situation, so the quiet ride suited her.
I recall the chesed of Rabbi Yitzchok Pollack, rebbe in TA, who volunteered to pick my sister up and bring her to the ride. I must add that the suggestions in Rabbi Daniel Rose’s articles on hospice that were published in the Where What When were enlightening and helpful.
The kindness of Mrs. Edelson and of the family who provided this ride bore fruit in the resulting Yom Tov experience. R’ Avrohom benefited greatly from the attention and comfort of a loyal family member being there for him, coaxing him to muster the strength to be wheeled to the seudos so as to feel the ruach of Yom Tov. Our sister had the zechus to be part of his last Simchas Torah, to witness his joy as he was wheeled in the center of the circle of other wheelchair-bound cholim at the hakofos. She, who had for many years hosted R’ Avrohom royally on his once-weekly trip to Brooklyn for his job, now had the nachas of being there when he received the last aliya of his life, on that Simchas Torah in the Leisure Chateau shul.
For the benefit of those reading this who knew him, or even those who did not, may I, as a postscript, add a bit more about this special person. In his final months, R’ Avrohom expressed, “I am in pain, but there is no reason to complain.” He fought his sickness with courage and emuna, stating resolutely, “What will be, will be.” The last week of his life, his lungs were failing; he breathed in heaves, but, with barely any strength, he expressed that he felt happy, that this was his neshama (soul).
He had always been vigilant with distant relatives’ yahrzeits. At the end, R’ Avrohom was given a strong feeling as to almost the exact date of his own. Towards the beginning of both Tishrei and Cheshvan, R’ Avrohom had made herculean efforts to be mekadesh levana (bless the new moon). He had been brought home in his wheelchair from an all-too-common visit to the emergency room at three in the morning. Despite extreme frailty, R’ Avrohom requested to be wheeled all the way around to the back of the building to do the mitzva in a more mehudar manner. He sensed, from a maaseh with Rav Shimon Schwab, zt”l, that as long as he was mekadesh levana, he would not be niftar (pass away) that month.
On Rosh Chodesh Kislev, R’ Avrohom asked several times what the date of the new chodesh was. He became intensely serious, suddenly crying out, “You have no idea! This room will soon be filled with people!”
The last night he spoke, one of the things he said to his sister, referring to a good friend who had just visited him, was the pasuk, “Kamayim hapanim lapanim kein lev ha’adam la’adam – Like water which reflects a face, so the heart of a man is reflected in another heart.” Later, it dawned on one of R’ Avrohom’s siblings that this was the essence of Avrohom! “Everyone loved him, because they reflected his ahava (love) for them! There wasn’t a soul in the world who had a complaint against him!” R’ Avrohom’s last word was “Good,” uttered with a serene smile.
For many hours, loving family members stayed around R’ Avrohom’s hospital bed, davening tehilim, learning, and singing. Friends and kind visitors came in and out, joining in the tefilos and heartfelt nigunim. There were minyanim for Mincha and for Maariv. Vidui, Shema Yisrael, and Adon Olom were fervently recited several times. A young talmid chacham, one of many devoted nephews, played guitar. The unusually large number of ahava-filled “escorters” were symbolic, perhaps, of the number of those kamayim hapanim recipients during R’ Avrohom Reuvein’s lifetime. They sang nigunim of dveikus, being melave (accompanying) this neshama tehora (pure soul). The room was full of people.
Yehei zichro baruch.
