It’s 3 a.m., the night after Chanukah, and I’m sitting at the computer trying to recapture its spirit. Dreidels lie deep in my coat pocket, Chanukah paper plates float around the kitchen, and chocolate gelt glitters on tabletops, tempting me to savor just one more. A tall silver menorah, rescued from the Holocaust, still sits in the window. My husband lit it for the first four nights, then we were off to see children and grandchildren for the fifth, sixth, and seventh nights in Far Rockaway and the eighth in Lakewood. There were gelt and gifts for the children, a party with laughter and latkes, and memories to cherish. But, for me, what was special about this Chanukah began in Baltimore before the first candle was lit and kept inspiring and challenging me even when I thought it was over.
On motzei Shabbos, November 30, I attended Project Inspire’s Shabbos of Inspiration melava malka, a program of Aish HaTorah in conjuction with Baltimore’s Etz Chaim organization. Sitting with friends in the dimmed hall of Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion, we enjoyed the warm soup, fish, and salads. The food was delicious, but the program was even more filling.
Through speeches and a multimedia presentation interviewing Jews who came back to their roots, the message was clear: Reach out to someone; show that you care. In his divrei bracha, Harav Yaakov Hopfer, of Congregation Shearith Israel and President of Vaad Harabbonim said, “With a smile and good cheer, you can affect others.” The Rav shared that one way this can be done is by showing sincerity in hosting guests. “A guest shouldn’t feel that you are doing a mitzva by hosting him,” said the Rav, “but that you genuinely care for him.”
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I was pleasantly surprised to hear Rabbi Hopfer speak again the next morning, erev Chanukah, at Talmudical Academy’s Chanukas Habayis. But first, I followed the crowd singing and dancing the sefer Torah into the beautiful new Rabbi Samuel and Zehava Friedman High School Building. This is not the same TA that my husband graduated from in 1963. Then, it was housed in a small building on Springfield and Cottage Avenues, around the corner from Shirley Avenue where I grew up.
As I walked into the huge foyer of this new building off Old Court Road, I was uplifted by the brightness and clean design. But the magnificent silver aron kodesh in the Isadore and Fannie Foxman Bais Medrash took my breath away. In front of that aron kodesh, several notable speakers greeted the crowd. Then Rabbi Hofer spoke. “Today is a very historical and momentous day for our community,” he said. “This is our future. From this our people are going to grow.” The Rav emphasized that the message of TA’s dedication is the same as that of Chanukah – dedication to Hashem by leading a life of Torah and mitzvas, “which can enlighten and make a difference to the whole world.”
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A week later, as we drove home from Lakewood on the eighth day of Chanukah, my husband and I saw a brilliant orange sun begin its descent. With only a few more moments to bask in the light, we started singing “Al Hanissim,” “Mo’az Tzur,” and even “I had a Little Dreidel.” After the last note, the sun set. The light was gone – or so I thought.
We pulled up to our house, and I was glad to be home but sad that Chanukah was over. Then I got a text from my friend Chava Schwartz: “Tonight is sushi, and Rabbi Goldfeiz speaking at Rabbi Seidemann’s shul at 8.”
A class on motzei Chanukah? Oy. I hadn’t unpacked, made dinner, or finished this article. But my husband, as he often does, convinced me to go. I’m glad I did because Rabbi Emanuel Goldfeiz shared a lesson with the women of Neshei Kehillah B’nai Torah that would help me with all my relationships.
He said that the two-letter root of the word Chanukah (according to Rashi’s view of two letters for the shoresh) is ches nun, which spell chein (charm, grace), the quality by which Esther Hamalka is known. According to the gemara, her chein is defined by the phrase, “Everyone who saw Esther thought that she was from their own city.” She made everyone feel comfortable.
“We shouldn’t be narrow-minded but make room for individuality,” said Rabbi Goldfeiz. “It desn’t matter if a person wears a white shirt or a blue shirt.” That means that within the framework of Torah, teachers, parents, and anyone in a relationship should try to see things from the other’s perspective. “Only the Torah is objective; ninety-nine percent of everything else is subjective,” said Rabbi Goldfeiz.
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Kindling the Chanukah candles in 5779 is over, but its light still shines from the threefold message of inspiration I got this year: from the Shabbos of Inspiration to reach out and bring Jews back to their roots; from TA’s Chanukas Habayis to dedicate ourselves to Torah and mitzvas and make a difference in the world; and from Rabbi Goldfeiz to embrace individuality. This is a Chanukah challenge I didn’t expect but, with the help of Hashem, it’s one I hope to tackle throughout the year.
