Once again, I learned something from my children. I learned that change is good. I’m not talking about change as in trying something new, such as going on an upside-down roller coaster, eating gluten-free cookies, or, even worse, self-improvement. I’m talking about real, no-nonsense change. You know, like nickels, dimes, quarters, and even those pesky pennies. You see, it all started about a year ago when one of my children asked if they could keep the loose change from a purchase. Not really thinking too much about it, I said yes. This quest for change morphed into other seemingly benign appeals, like asking for the quarter that was lying on the floor of the car or keeping the change that fell out of someone’s pocket and remained on the floor for more than a nanosecond. Little by little, it turned into an inside joke. The phrase “Got Change?” became a family motto and was rewarded with a small donation each time it was uttered.
After almost a year, this quest for change turned into a piggybank full of coins. As soon as it was filled to capacity, we took a trip to the bank. Unlike dollar bills which do not require any preparation, it seems that our financial institution actually requires you to roll the coins in those little paper tubes before depositing them. This was something my kids had never heard of. But believe it or not, this brought back fond memories for me. When I was growing up, my grandmother collected wheat pennies. These were the pennies that were minted from 1909 to 1958 and had the two sprigs of wheat along the edge of the back of the penny. She used to save them in a large box made out of cedar wood. When the box started to get full, my siblings and I would sit around her kitchen table and help her put them in rolls. Based on this previous experience, I figured that what my children collected would, in comparison, be chump change. After all, how much could there be inside a small, albeit portly, piece of porcelain? Well, it seems that you can actually move yourself to a new tax bracket if you collect other people’s money on a regular basis. (Don’t try this anywhere else except at home.) Seriously though, we were talking about over $30 in change, most of it in pennies. But we were up for the challenge. Armed with the paper rolls that the teller gave us, we sat together on the couch sorting and rolling coins. Over the next 30 minutes, while everyone was quietly concentrating on the task at hand, I had ample time to think.
My first thought was that I shouldn’t be giving away so much money. My second thought was a little more sophisticated. I realized I could apply an economic principle that is sometimes attributed to financial institutions of questionable repute: specifically, the principle of deceit. I decided I would create a slush fund – you know, “a secret fund for paying bribes and making illicit deals.” Focusing on the paying-bribes part of the definition, I figured I could funnel off money during the summer months so I could buy Slushees or, according to the local vernacular, Slurpees. During the hot days of summer vacation, these icy, refreshing beverages could serve to “encourage” my children to help with groceries, chores, and other modes of torture. Just thinking about how far the promise of a Slurpee could go made me giddy. After all, don’t many of our interactions with our children require some form of negotiation? Think how much more I could bring to the table if I had this to back me up.
I immediately put my plan into action. Since I didn’t want to dislocate my shoulder by lugging change around in my purse, I decided I would designate one of those disposable cups with a lid that are commonly used for coffee. By placing the cup in the holder next to me in my car, I could simply peel back the lid and drop my change in it each time I made a purchase. The only glitch in this system occurred one day when I accidentally made the deposit in a cup of actual coffee that I had brought with me and not into the designated cup. (Talk about making a splash.) Luckily, I was able to salvage the coins. (Don’t worry, I didn’t drink the coffee.) Other than that little mishap, the change was substantial, and the results were amazing. My kids were happy, I was happy, and 7-Eleven was happy. So, go ahead and seek change before someone else in your family does. I’m telling you, it really pays off.
