Once a week, I attend an anti-lashon hara (anti-gossip) session given by Dr. Chaim Haber. It is amazing to learn the rules regarding lashon hara as revealed by the great Chofetz Chaim. It appears that to fulfill all the details of becoming a non-loshon haranik, a person should rarely make comments about other people – not any easy task!
One sunny day an interesting thought came to mind: Why not also have a class about cheerful lashon? There are many sources regarding worshipping Hashem (G-d) with simcha, joy. Hopefully, after reviewing this concept, someone will initiate such a class.
The following maiseh (story) illustrates the preferable world of cheerful lashon (speech). All names are fictitious.
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After a shvare (difficult) day at his job, Shmeryl Bakanter is returning home. He drives down the Baltimore Beltway, which has the habit of giving some drivers a nervous condition, such as twitching, coughing, oy-vaying, or swaying. At home, Shmeryl’s vibel (wife) Bayla prepares a delicious meal for the family. Their four children – Shmyeh, Zissel, Shayndl, and Yentl – are eagerly awaiting the arrival of their tahteh (father). Finally Shmeryl enters his palace oysgehmahtert (exhausted). No smile, no lashon (speechless), nothing but an expression that could frighten Frankenstein! Next, he flops himself on a chair and listens to the news. Can anyone suppose that the news is about a worthwhile “Charm City” project? Or perhaps about an outstanding person who received an award? Vais ich voss (not exactly). Rather, the news includes the following:
- A thug named John Smith beat up his neighbor.
- A child ran into the street and was knocked down by a truck.
- A man fell off a rock in a state park.
- Bill Hendricks ran over his beloved dog, Benito, whom he loves more than people.
- A new disease is taking over the world!
- The hurricane of the century will flood Baltimore from the harbor until Northern Parkway.
- The latest traffic snarl on the Beltway (due to a few raindrops) caused a pileup.
- A policeman is criminally charged for wounding a robber who attempted to kill him!
Following the fahrzetst newscast, Shmeryl begins reading the local newspaper. So what topics are reviewed in the newspaper? Yesterday’s homicide record, followed by the mayor kvelling (bragging) because only six persons were shot this week over last year’s count of seven. Real progress! However, the newscasters gleefully announce that 43 persons were murdered in May 2015. A record! Hairst ah geshichteh – can you imagine such a thing?!
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It’s time for dinner, so Bayla begins calling the family together. After reviewing the latest news, Shmeryl has lost his appetite and has nothing to discuss other than how ihn drerd (rotten) things are at work, in the city, and in the world!
The reaction of his mishpacha bounces back like a rubber ball, meaning that each family member has something negative to report. Shmyeh lost his notebook, Zissel has a loose tooth, Shayndl complains about Yentl, and Yentl complains about Shayndl. Tired of the kvetching, Shmeryl, our bahl habayis, gives a klopp (bang) on the table, and all is quiet, for a few seconds.
Had Shmeryl come home, and treated his mishpacha with cheerful lashon, can you imagine the difference? He could have asked his children about their day at school and discussed what they learned. After Birchat Hamazon (Grace After Meals) and thanking his vibel (wife), how would the kids have reacted?
In our daily communication with others, we need to review whether we are practicing cheerful lashon. It can begin when we awaken in the morning by reciting the Modeh Ani prayer to thank Hashem for restoring our life. Thanking Hashem can also be expressed by wholeheartedly directing our prayers upward and simply saying, “Thanks!”
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There are many cheerful lashon opportunites. Here are a few:
- Thanking our wives for the fantastic job they do each day.
- Thanking our children for acting like mentchen when they do something positive.
- Giving a hearty thanks to the meshulachim who save us from destruction, as it says: “Tzedaka saves one from death.” (“Especially the recipients,” according to a dvar from my mechuten Dr. Norman Horwitz, a”h.)
- Giving a yasher ko’ach to the police and fire departments for risking their lives to protect us.
- Thanking members of Hatzalah and other organizations that do chesed (kind deeds) by giving their time and energy to assist us in times of need.
- Giving thanks to folks who keep our homes sturdy and safe, such as the plumber and maintenance personnel.
- Thanking our health providers, such as physicians and dentists, for keeping us in a healthy state.
- Thanking our rabbis and teachers for teaching Torah and worldly knowledge.
- Thanking the shul gabbo’im for helping coordinate services.
- Giving a yasher ko’ach to leaders of the nation, the state, and the community.
- Thanking civil servants and members of the armed forces for protecting the nation.
This is only a partial list. How many more can you add? Ah klal: By smiling and practicing cheerful lashon, we contribute to the happiness of our family, our community, and our world.
