Our
reintegration to shuls has come in stages. For what seemed like an eternity,
many of us davened in outdoor minyanim, sometimes under the blazing sun,
drizzling rain, or chilly weather, often too early for some or too late for
others. Since then, our community, like many others, has been struggling with
reopening – and keeping open – o
Times have really changed. Until recently, if someone
were to walk into a shul (or bank) wearing a mask, everyone would scatter or
duck. Now, if someone walks in without a mask, we run in the other
direction.
I
have heard from several people how meaningful the tefilos were when davening alone at home. We took our time (there
was nowhere to go), we davened out loud, and unashamedly cried out to Hashem to
end this mageifa (plague).
Many of us made kabbalos, resolutions, of the changes we would make as
we negotiated with Hashem to lift the pandemic. But with all due respect, let’s
ask ourselves: Do we even remember what those kabbalos were now? And if we do, are we keeping them up? I suspect
it was a busy, long morning erev Rosh
Hashanah when we made hataras nedarim.
Now
that many of us are back to davening with a minyan in shuls, b”H, has anything changed from pre-pandemic
days besides the masks and social distancing? Are we arriving on time to hear
the chazan say Bircos Hashachar so we can answer amen? Are we saying Korbonos,
particularly the section of Ketores
(as many of us pledged)? Are we forced to skip some of Pesukei d’Zimra to “catch up”? Are we appreciating the beautiful,
meaningful words of the Monday and Thursday Tachanun?
Or are we simply resigned to get through it as quickly as possible?
Certainly,
many have been able to make profound and lasting changes regarding their tefilos. But many of us struggle to
reignite the passion we felt in those early days of davening alone at home. How
can we change that? How do we keep davening for something (e.g., an end to the
pandemic), when our tefilos seemingly
go unanswered? I do not profess to know the answers to these questions or a
resolution to the issue. But I do have some thoughts I would like to humbly
share with our remarkable community.
* * *
COVID: Reason or Excuse? It is
understandable, and even preferable, that certain categories of people do not
attend shul. This could be due to age, underlying conditions, anxiety, etc.
These are good “reasons.” But we cannot allow COVID to become an “excuse.” What’s
the difference?
The Reason person will continue to rise
early to daven at the time that his tzibur
is davening. This is mentioned in halacha and has great value and merit. He
would also still dress in the manner he would for shul: i.e., pants (not PJ’s),
jacket, and perhaps tie and hat. Whatever he considers appropriate dress for
shul would be his dress at home. The Excuse person may sleep late, does not
coordinate his timing with the tzibur
and may not dress as he would for shul. I'm sure there are other practical
differences. Basically, COVID should be a reason to strengthen our avodah, not an excuse to minimize it in
any way.
Masks: We all grapple with “What’s the message Hashem is sending us?”
Perhaps the masks, in shul reduce talking during davening or talking in a makom kadosh. I have heard many theories.
I would like to suggest the following: The Torah tells us to serve Hashem “with
all your heart.” Chazal tell us that Avodah
of the Heart refers to tefilah. I
feel like Hashem is telling us, by way of the masks, “It is not your voice I
want to hear as much as your heart.” I find it actually more difficult to daven
loudly with a mask. Perhaps He is telling us, “Let your heart speak to Me
louder than your voice.” Could the mask be a reminder that Hashem wants us to think
more about what we say and awaken our hearts to serve Him as we daven?
Dan l’Kaf Zechus: The pasuk in Kedoshim states, “b’tzedek tishpot amisecha” We have to judge each other favorably. We don’t
always know all the reasons or circumstances behind the behavior of others. So,
if and when we have to make a judgment call regarding a friend, dan l’kaf zechus, we endeavor to look at
the positive and judge favorably.
And if
we must do that for a friend, should we not be doing that for Hashem? After
all, it’s not like we know, or could even comprehend, why Hashem does what He
does. We do not know why he has put our community, klal Yisrael and indeed the whole world through this miserable,
disruptive, and deadly plague. Clearly, He has His reasons to put us in this matzav and is looking for change in us.
Our continued but strengthened tefilos
should be part of that process. Let’s avoid judging Him.
Remember
the Power of Tefilah: There
are many sources and references that teach us the power of tefilah, even in spite of natural conditions. An example would be
the commentary of the Sforno in Bereishis, referring to Sarah Imeinu’s “laugh’
when she heard the angels tell Avraham that they would have a son. The Sforno
writes that Sarah thought the angels were prophets offering a bracha (as Elisha later did), not that
they were emissaries from Hashem to bring this message. She thought that, for
such obviously old people to have children, a bracha alone, something so against nature, would be insufficient.
Writes the Sforno, Sarah believed that to make a radical physical change would
be like techiyas hameisim, a
resurrection of the dead. Such a great miracle could only happen with Hashem’s
direct command and involvement, or, through
tefilah! The power of tefilah
is, according to the Sforno, greater than the bracha of a Navi.
Repetitive
Tefilos: I believe many of us
would admit that repeating the same tefilos,
day in day out, poses a challenge to our ability to maintain kavanah and passion in our prayers. Take
Shmoneh Esrei, for example. During the week, it’s basically the
same tefilah three times a day. And
to compound the issue, if you daven Mincha/Maariv back to back, you say the
same Shmoneh Esrei twice within 10 to
15 minutes of each other. How do we keep up a sense of fervor and freshness?
One
approach in dealing with this could be the following: Imagine you are riding in
one of those luxury Amtrak “observation” cars (mostly glass) out West. You are
sitting in the same seat for three to four days, but the scenery around you is
constantly changing. One day you’re riding through
Moshe,
as we all learned, was denied entry into Eretz Yisrael. Chazal tell us he
davened 515 times (gematria of V’Eschanan)
begging Hashem to change His mind. At that point Hashem stopped him. Chazal
explain that, had Moshe davened one more time, 516, Hashem would have had to
let Moshe in and, for whatever reason, He did not want that.
One
never knows which tefilah will
finally pierce through and reach the Throne. We have to believe that this will be the one.
The
“Mabit,” Rav Moshe ben Yosef Di Trani (circa 1500-1585), writes on this issue
in his sefer Beis Elokim. He says, imagine asking a king for something and being
turned down. So you ask again and are turned down. Ask again. And again. At
some point the king (or your parent) would likely tire of your pestering,
perhaps get angry and send you away. If, says the Mabit, the king was inclined
to respond in the affirmative, he would have done so at the onset. Asks the
Mabit, so why do we do exactly that daily to Hashem? We often ask for same
thing (better parnassah, refuah, etc.) and it doesn’t come. Why
don’t we take the hint and stop pestering?
The
Mabit answers that one of the purposes of tefilah
is to help us recognize that there is no one else to whom we can pray!
That we are lacking and we have needs, and only He can help, save, and provide.
Perhaps we will be zocheh to get the
response we need. But regardless, we, through the repetitive tefilos, will reinforce this recognition
within ourselves.
Rav
Shimshon Pincus, zt”l, adds that the
purpose in tefilah is to make the
requests. To ask! Hashem wants us to “ask of Him” because this shows our
recognition of our dependence and brings us closer to Him.
This
aspect of tefilah cannot be
emphasized enough. It is not merely the asking or even praising of Hashem. Most
importantly, it is about developing a relationship with Him.
“Unanswered”
Tefilos: That our tefilos are seemingly unanswered at
times is probably the greatest cause for discouragement and frustration in regard
to tefilah. Is anyone upstairs
listening? What’s the value of my tefilah
if I don’t get the answer I need or want? These and similar questions are not
just about COVID-19. They are not limited to prayers for parnassah, shidduchim, and
refuah. They are centuries-old
questions that go back to our Jewish origins.
I
heard an interesting observation in the name of the Belzer Rebbe, zt”l. The Gemarah tells us that tefilos were established by the Avos. Avraham established Shacharis:
“Avraham arose early morning to the place where he had ‘stood’ (amad) before Hashem.” Standing equals
tefilah; Morning equals
Shacharis. But what tefilah is the pasuk referring to? It was Avraham’s tefilah on behalf of
Sometimes
the answer is “no,” and we may never know the reason. To this point, Rabbi
Jonathan Sacks, the former Chief Rabbi of
Sometimes,
Hashem has other plans. He knows and understands what is good for us and what
may be not. Even the negative or non-answer is ultimately for our good.
Most
of us have learned that Hashem listens and accepts all our tefilos. But this does not mean we always get the answer we want
now or later. We have been told that there are times that Hashem takes our tefilos and saves them to apply on a
later day. The Dubno Magid has a beautiful mashal (adapted slightly
herein). Imagine two female friends, one older and one younger, going shopping
together. They enter a children’s clothing store. The younger one is picking
up, putting down, and sorting through the clothing. The older one is grabbing
outfits right and left. The older one asks: “Why is it so difficult for you to
pick something out? There are so many good deals for beautiful clothing.”
Responds
the younger one, “I have a 12-year-old daughter, and she is very particular
about style and color. But how is it that you just grab items? How do you know they
will be suitable?”
“You
see,” says the older one, “you are shopping for one child, and the clothing
must fit. I, on the other hand, am shopping for my many grandchildren. Whatever
doesn’t fit one will fit another – and if not now, later.”
The
Magid is telling us that a tefilah
that does “not fit” (read: is not answered now), could very well be used for
another need, now or later, for the one who asked or for someone else.
* * *
I would like to conclude with one last thought
based on something I saw from the Dubno Magid. In the repetition of the Shemoneh
Esrei, when the chazan reaches Modim,
rather than just saying amen to his bracha, we recite a special Modim d’Rabbanan.
Curiously, we conclude this prayer by thanking Hashem for giving us “the
opportunity to thank Him.” What message were the authors of the Shemoneh
Esrei attempting to convey?
Hashem wants to hear from us. He wants us to
acknowledge Him. When we thank Him we are doing just that. When Hashem sees
that we appreciate and recognize His goodness, and say thank you, He
bestows upon us more blessing as He knows we will use it to thank Him some
more.
The message is clear. If we first focus on
recognizing all the good in our lives and express our thanks to Him, He will
have more reason to respond favorably to our tefilos as He knows we will acknowledge Him. Indeed, He will give
us more opportunity to thank Him.
Gmar chasima tova!
