?My wife Arleeta
and I hadn’t been to Florida together in three years. As “Yeshiva Week” 2022
approached, Arleeta, a devoted second-grade boys teacher, needed a sanity
break. For the better part of the last two months Arleeta could be heard
reciting a quiet chant when working into the wee hours on numerous school
projects, or when dealing with a challenging parent. Her chant was “Going Florida…Going Florida…!” Being a
perceptive person, I picked up on the idea that she wanted to go to Florida.
Reservations were made and “points” flights were booked.
On the Shabbos morning before the
Sunday of our scheduled departure, Arleeta said, “I’m feeling a bit out of
sorts.”
I said, “After Shabbos, I’ll cancel
our trip.”
Her reply was “Oh no you won’t – Going Florida!!!”
“But dear, if you’re not……..”
Once again, a resounding “Going Florida.”
Following havdalah, after establishing that she wasn’t “COVID Mary,” it was
clear that we were Going Florida no
matter what!
I wasn’t surprised that Arleeta was
feeling under the weather at the start of a school break. It’s actually a long-established
custom since she cannot get sick when school is in session. Therefore, she, and
her Torah School colleagues, like the greatest and toughest warrior heroes,
postpone or ignore pain and illness when it’s logistically inconvenient. Once
school vacation comes, Arleeta is like the marathon runner who completes the
last few miles on sheer guts before collapsing at the finish line.
On Sunday, although tired and
fatigued, Arleeta (and I) boarded our Jet Blue flight in DC, and
notwithstanding delays due to weather, we took off just before the ice and snow
started to fall. Upon arrival in Fort Lauderdale (in 79° F.), Arleeta immediately
received an emotional booster shot. She was ready and fully prepped to relax,
rest, and recuperate.
Obviously, taking a break from icy
freezing northern weather in a place where date palms grow and balmy breezes
blow contributes to a sense of wellbeing. But there is another factor which
also contributes to wellbeing. Florida (bless you Governor DeSantis) feels like
a free country – kind of what most of America used to be like (in case you’ve
forgotten). No one is mandating your personal behavior or ordering you – under penalty
of law – to do something that you aren’t comfortable with doing. While there
are certain schools and business that have masking “requests,” there are an
equal or greater number that don’t. You are treated as a thinking adult capable
of making proper and appropriate decisions. As a result, most people do!
If you want to mask, you do. If you
don’t want to, it’s your choice. The maskers and non-maskers are therefore not
at war with one another and not “virtue signaling,” which is all too common in
the Northeast. The people I met, some masked and some not, spoke civilly to
each other. It was refreshing. Because I live in the non-“Free State” of
Maryland (in the People’s Republic of Montgomery County), calm, relaxed
behavior, and normal social intercourse is hard to come by these days. Many
people are on edge and fearful of (even distanced) human contact.
Tragically, American politics has
become extreme with little or no room for a respectful and balanced center.
Since COVID opinions are now mostly shaped by political ideologies, COVID
viewpoints have also become extreme. It appears that the political class in
Washington (and well beyond) is on a crusade somewhat reminiscent of the
crusaders of the Middle Ages. Back then, if you didn’t accept Catholicism, you
were cancelled – literally – by banishment or by sword. Forced “conversions” of
the heretics was essential to end dissent. Today, although the Crusaders aren’t
(yet) using swords, they have been using every possible tool to subdue and
silence those who may not share their COVID religious beliefs. During the
Middle Ages, there were corrupt Church-organized “disputations,” in which
biased judges would always rule against the rabbis – no matter how logical,
factual, and truthful the rabbis’ arguments were.
I have friends (medical school
professors, infectious disease scientists, epidemiologists) in the U.S.A. (some
at NIH) and overseas who do not subscribe to the mandates, lockdowns, and
masking. These aren’t crackpots or ill-informed people. They have data to
support their (counter) claims. Nevertheless, they have great difficulty in
finding a platform to fairly present their views for open and honest debate and
discussion. Many have been threatened (in a variety of ways) for not accepting
the “party line.” For me, the loss of freedom of speech and our individual
rights is far more dangerous than COVID.
Businesses in Florida are thriving,
while many shops and small business have closed or are struggling in the
Northeast. People in Florida, a great many of whom are well into their
eighties, are smiling and enjoying life. People are not terrified to engage
someone at close range. Shuls are open, welcoming, and functioning. Simchas are
being celebrated joyously. Following davening, there’s a kiddush with relaxed
socializing. Most children are playing and interacting in a normal and healthy
way, and are not breathing inside of bacteria-laden masks. Parents are free to
decide (without coercion) if they want their two-year-old to have his face
covered and whether their children should be vaccinated. Until I got to Florida,
I hadn’t fully grasped just how much my mental health and wellbeing has
suffered by living in the Northeast. I realized that I had become so used to
the government’s abrogation of my rights that I was starting to act like a
traditional victim of abuse. I had been making excuses for my abusers.
I’m tired of elected officials who
know what’s best for me. Until two years ago, I knew what was best for me. The
great thing about being older is that you realize the value of time. You
understand that a day not fully lived is lost forever. You want to make the
most of each and every blessed day. You want to be with family and friends and
attend celebrations. Therefore, I believe that it is better to live with the
risks of freedom then to be subjected to a relentless repressive government
which is encroaching on our basic civil rights. When I was in high school we
studied Civics not Critical Race Theory! We were taught that in America “my
rights begin where your rights end!” It seems to me that if a person is
concerned or worried about interacting with others, then it’s his decision to
self-quarantine and not attend public functions and simchas. Responsibility for
someone else’s choices should not be mine to deal with.
There are those who will recoil when
reading these words. Yes, I do understand that COVID can be deadly. Yes, I do
understand that people have gotten and are getting sick. Yes, I have taken what
I think are reasonable precautions based upon the information that I could
obtain. I am respectful of the rights of others. I am a senior citizen, so I’m
in what is considered a high risk category. I was triple vaccinated, which was
supposed to make me (and those around me) safe. Now there are serious questions
about how safe. Other risk factors are emerging and are slowly being
underreported. Recent research from Israel, the CDC, the NIH, the WHO, and
other official scientific centers have begun questioning the usefulness,
purpose, and potential harm being done by the current vaccine and mask
mandates. Therefore, after two long years of compliance, it seems that the time
has come to do our best to live as normal a life as possible and stop cowering
in fear. We will have to learn to live with the reality that COVID will keep
mutating and circulating.
During the darkest days of the Great
Depression, at FDR’s 1933 inauguration, he said “The only thing we have to fear
is fear itself – nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyzes
needed efforts to convert retreat into advance.” To his credit, FDR brought a
message of hope to a depressed and distressed nation. We need to ponder that
message now. Unfortunately we are absent a leader to deliver it.
This is not the first time the world
has dealt with a pandemic. Stifling lockdowns and government-imposed mandates
will not and have not succeeded in stopping COVID. But they have successfully
created tremendous anxiety, fear, and panic among our population. As an older,
experienced clinical professional, I don’t know of a time when I’ve seen so
many people suffering from depression and anxiety. Legal and illegal mood-altering
drugs are being ingested at alarming rates, as is alcohol. Insomnia is rife.
Many people are living in fear. Many elderly and infirmed have been left to
wither and die alone. Visiting loved ones in hospitals is extremely difficult
if not next to impossible.
The available “official data” is
misleading and (at best) unreliable. For example, it benefits hospitals financially
to report a patient’s cause of death as COVID. A friend, an ER physician in New
York, treated two victims of deadly gunshot wounds. They died. Since they had
tested positive for COVID, he was pressured to list the cause of death as COVID.
He refused. Had he not had a secure position, he might have faced dismissal. He
told me that many of the deaths attributed to COVID were not because of COVID but because of other circumstances, such as
underlying conditions (or gunshot wounds). But if the patient tested COVID
positive while alive – or after death – the cause of death was listed as COVID.
Numerous nurses and doctors have firsthand knowledge of faulty reporting of “COVID”
deaths. It’s appalling. Therefore, we have no honest reckoning of actual COVID
death numbers, which are most certainly inflated.
I’ve always had a holistic view of
health. Our physical and emotional wellbeing must operate in tandem. In the
last two years, the prevailing view has been to ignore the emotional and
concentrate on the physical. Doing so has caused much harm to the mental
health, emotional stability, and livelihoods of millions of Americans. Being a
positive (not COVID positive) person increases our ability to cope with
setbacks and to heal from illness. Over my many years as a rabbi and
psychologist, I have found that “If you think you can, you can, and if you
think you can’t, you can’t!” I have witnessed people “will” themselves into
illness and “will” themselves into health. No, you cannot always “will”
yourself well, but if you think positively, you will do much better, suffer
less, and have a greater chance of healing.
When Hashem commands us to serve Him
with joy, we understand that service without joy is difficult and depressing.
The Baal Shem Tov lived in a time when he witnessed many depressed Jews who
needed to be b’simcha to properly
serve their Creator and themselves. It has been extremely difficult to be b’simcha over the past two years. The
constant and relentless political/media-driven narrative has made any and all
bad news The News. Imagine if, through the pandemic, instead of only gloom and
doom, we would have heard some good news by reducing the negative reporting and
pointing out the percentage of people who are alive and well. What about the
statistics concerning the great number of asymptomatic people or those who had
very mild symptoms?! How might this have contributed to more positive
attitudes?
The current official COVID religion
being practiced in Washington and beyond has succeeded in further dividing an
already fractured country. Worst of all this situation has created terrible
consequences for many Jewish communities. Day school principals are often
caught in a tug of war between the “religious” COVID zealots and those who have
different beliefs. Wonderful schools, run by superb administrators, have, in
many cases, become battlegrounds pitting parents against each other and against
wonderful and caring teachers who are caught between warring factions. Shuls
have been torn apart. Backyard and basement minyanim,
with no rabbinic input, have emerged. Fine rabbanim
have been tormented by congregants demanding that the official shul policy on
COVID must reflect a particular view. School principals and shul rabbanim are in no-win dilemmas. Most
COVID arguments are driven by emotion – not for the sake of heaven. All too
often, there is the belief that the (only) truth is the one which “I” subscribe
to. The (already onerous) shidduch
qualification forms now include questions concerning the COVID hashkafa (philosophy) of the potential
bride or groom and their respective families, further complicating an already
fraught process.
Maybe the time has come for us as
Jews to remember the critical importance of achdus
(unity). Let’s think about being more tolerant of each other. This might be a
good time to consider that views which are different from ours may not be
incorrect, and that we and others are entitled to express our opinions
respectfully.
In Vayikra 19:18, we are introduced to the mitzvah of “V’ahavta lerayacha kamocha – Love your
neighbor as yourself.” The great sage Hillel (in Shabbos 31), being pragmatic
and forceful, restates this mitzva as “What is hateful to you do not do unto
your neighbor.” Implicit in these holy words is an understanding that one must
love oneself. Just as we accept ourselves (as imperfect as we may be), we need
to appreciate the imperfections of others and accept them too. The next time we
find ourselves disagreeing with someone – before an argument ensues – consider
whether or not you are open to listen and possibly hear something you may not
have considered, or if you simply want to make your point – no matter what. If
making your point is your primary motivation, then an ego check might be in
order.
I am grateful that Arleeta and I were
able to spend Yeshiva Week in Florida. Baruch
Hashem, we were able to celebrate lovely weather while being reminded of
how much we love and appreciate freedom from oppressive regulations and
government-imposed mandates.
May Hashem send a refuah!
