Sometimes it seems that too many people are worried about the high cost of living and are feeling that frum life is unaffordable. From expensive summer camps to the challenge of planning a bar mitzvah on a budget, families are feeling overwhelmed. We have all had conversations, ranging from rising grocery costs to our high tuition fees, which leave us feeling discouraged and without practical solutions.
Imagine this
scenario: A hardworking father returns home late at night to find his wife
exhausted from a long day of work or teaching. As they open their mail, bill
after bill confronts them, triggering a heated argument. The father exclaims, “How
can you spend so much on Amazon? We can’t afford that!” In response, the mother
says, “Didn’t the Rav suggest reaching out to our community tzedaka
organization? It would make such a difference for us.” Can you imagine the
embarrassment the father feels? Can you grasp the impact on the children who
hear these words day after day? This heart-wrenching scenario is unfolding in
hundreds of households within our community.
We wanted to
understand this issue of how unaffordable frum
life is, so we tried to find information and organizations that help families
with their financial struggles. Unfortunately, we couldn’t find enough useful
information or detailed analysis that focuses on our community’s needs. While
there are several wonderful organizations working hard to help certain segments
of the community, none of them seem to have the specific data or deep
understanding of where families are really struggling.
So, we conducted
our own survey. No survey is perfect, but we worked hard to make it useful. We
estimated Baltimore’s Orthodox Jewish community at 5,000 families and received
information from 10% (489 families). We believe the information it provides
serves as a good start, highlighting the need for us to work together and
support an official survey in the future.
The survey
uncovers a wealth of vital information concerning both the demographics and
financial burdens within our community. We were hoping that an analysis of
survey responses would offer valuable perspectives on the challenges faced by
Baltimore’s Jewish community, particularly in terms of their financial
well-being. Understanding these aspects empowers us to address the community’s
needs more effectively.
One significant
aspect focused on was the families’ financial well-being. It saddened us to see
that many families within our community are currently experiencing difficult
times. To gain a clearer picture, we categorized the survey responses into two
groups: “In Financial Distress” and “Not in Distress.” In this survey,
financial distress was defined as a family’s inability to access $500 for
unexpected expenses and/or their capacity to cover three months of income for
emergencies.
FINANCIAL
DISTRESS IN BALTIMORE COMMUNITY
·
58%: Not in financial
distress
·
42%: In distress (approximately
2,100 families, nearly half of all households in Baltimore)
The data raise
important questions that demand our attention:
·
Understanding
the causes:
What is causing the financial distress among families? Is it high grocery
prices, simcha expenses, or the
burden of expensive tuition fees?
·
Recognizing
the impact:
How does financial distress affect people’s lives, including their mental
health, overall well-being, and stability?
·
Willingness
to seek support:
Are individuals in financial distress open to seeking help? Do they turn to
family or community organizations for support? Identifying barriers to seeking
assistance is crucial in establishing accessible support systems.
4. Moving forward: What actions can we take
to address these challenges?
Understanding
the Causes
Families were
asked to rank their five largest expenses in ascending order. The results
consistently demonstrated that mortgage and tuition were the top two expenses,
with tuition ranking higher than mortgage in terms of financial burden. Simchas, despite being frequently
discussed, consistently ranked as the lowest expense. Groceries consistently
ranked third out of the five expenses.
Based on these
survey findings, it seems that tuition costs are a major cause of financial
distress for families. By finding ways to reduce tuition expenses within the
community, we may be able to alleviate the financial burden for many families.
Recognizing
the Impact
The following
question was asked to understand the impact of financial distress on shalom
bayis and health:
NOT IN FINANCIAL DISTRESS - IMPACT ON HEALTH AND SHALOM
BAYIS
·
28%: Never
·
62%: Sometimes
·
9%: A lot; daily (approximately
189 families
Has financial stress impacted your shalom bayis and
health?
a) A lot, at least
every day.
b) Sometimes
c) Never
FINANCIAL IMPACT ON SHALOM BAYIS
·
23%: Never
·
56%: Sometimes
·
21%: A lot, at least every day.
Next, by
categorizing families into two groups, “In Financial Distress” and “Not in
Distress,” we can gain valuable insights into the impact of financial issues on
health and shalom bayis.
IN FINANCIAL
DISTRESS - IMPACT ON HEALTH AND SHALOM BAYIS
·
11%: Never
·
48%: Sometimes
·
41%: Daily (approximately
861 families)
NOT IN
FINANCIAL DISTRESS - IMPACT ON HEALTH AND SHALOM BAYIS
·
28%: Never
·
62%: Sometimes
·
9%: A lot; daily (approximately
189 families
Our findings
indicate a troubling connection between financial distress and detrimental
effects on shalom bayis and health. Families experiencing distress
report four to ten times more negative outcomes compared to those not
in distress.
Although we cannot
directly measure the impact on children growing up in these households,
extensive studies have established a clear correlation between low income,
anxiety, and the well-being of children. A recent article published in the Wall Street Journal (6/15/23) also
highlighted this correlation.
Taking into
account our previous conclusion regarding the link between financial distress
and tuition costs, it is reasonable to infer that the strain caused by these
expenses contributes to the deterioration of family health and shalom bayis.
Willingness
to Seek Support
Now, we must
confront an important question: If our survey findings accurately reveal a
significant problem that adversely affects shalom bayis (and our
children), why is there a lack of attention and support to address this issue?
Why is there a scarcity of data and assistance available to alleviate families’
largest expense, which is tuition? Are people ready to reach out to the tzedaka
organizations that help the needy with
basic living needs?
To shed light on
this matter, we turn to the final question posed in the survey:
I would rather go into deep debt (more than 20% of my
yearly income) before I reach out to a community tzedaka organization.
a) Agree
b) Disagree
WILLINGNESS TO
TURN TO TZEDAKA ORGANIZATION
42%: Would seek
help
58%: Would not
seek help
The survey results
revealed a surprising trend: Almost 60% of individuals who need help hesitate
to seek help and would rather go into deep debt before doing so. This hesitation
persists even among families facing financial difficulties. In fact, there was
no difference between those in financial distress and those not in distress. It
suggests that the barriers to seeking assistance extend beyond financial
constraints and encompass factors like personal dignity and a reluctance to
discuss or ask for help regarding financial problems and shalom bayis
issues.
This insight sheds
light on why the true magnitude of this issue may not be widely known or openly
discussed. Many individuals are hesitant to openly address their financial
struggles, let alone their concerns regarding shalom bayis. The survey
question about the preference to go into debt rather than seek help further
highlights the complex dynamics at play.
When individuals
experiencing financial distress and strained shalom bayis are reluctant
to ask for help, it becomes a significant challenge to provide the necessary
assistance and support they require.
The survey’s
findings serve as a wake-up call for the Baltimore Jewish community. While the
data is not perfect, it reveals something new and important. The survey shows
that 40% of our community is in financial distress with the largest expense
being tuition. The survey also shows a direct correlation between families in
financial distress and four-to-ten-times worse shalom bayis. This should
motivate us to come together and assist those in our community who are
experiencing financial struggles. By understanding and addressing these
challenges, we can create a better and more affordable future.
I have no doubt
that each one of you reading this message knows someone, be it a neighbor,
friend, or acquaintance, who is silently grappling with financial distress,
which in turn leads to significant shalom bayis problems. Let us
recognize the urgency and importance of addressing this issue. While our
schools are making efforts to minimize costs, it is evident that tuition is the
main financial drain on most of our community. And therefore, the
ever-increasing tuition is the main driver of many shalom bayis
problems, jeopardizing the future of our very same children we are paying
tuition for. With so many families silently suffering, what can we do?
Moving Forward
For over two years, our organization, Ahavas Chinam Tamid (ACT),
has been committed to researching, analyzing, and developing a program aimed at
restoring shalom bayis and financial stability to our
community. Our mission is to make tuition affordable for families by ensuring
that no family pays more than 20% of their income towards tuition. (See
website for maximum reduction.) If each community member contributes 1% of
their income annually, we can solve this problem together. Moreover,
starting this year, families with students in our schools who contribute
1% of their income annually would have their tuition lowered to 20% of their
income the following year.
We’re committed to
transparency, accountability, and seeking guidance from daas Torah to
ensure our efforts are on the right track. As of writing this article, we have
collaborated with and been endorsed by over a dozen local rabbanim. We have a state-of-the-art website, where a pen test (a simulated cyber attack to check for
exploitable vulnerabilities) has been conducted. We possess a 501c3 exemption status and utilize a
comprehensive actuarial model.
The program is
currently in the final stages of development before it is ready for public
release. You can learn more about it at www.ahavaschinam.org.
To the rabbanim, community leaders, and the
public, I understand how busy you all are, but I urge you to take a moment from
your hectic schedules to lend your expertise and wisdom. Together, we can
restore balance to our beautiful community. We know there are many people
silently suffering around us, and we cannot ignore their plight. The lives and
futures of our people, our children, hang in the balance. If you genuinely care
about others and are eager to tackle this issue, please show your support and
sign up on this Google Doc using this QR code, or contact me at shlomo.bergmann@ahavaschinam.org.
Or you can text 410-656-6571.
Let us stand
together and bring back the equilibrium our community deserves.
Sincerely,
Shlomo Bergmann
& the Board of ACT
