When the editor of the Where What When asked me to write an article commemorating Reuven Fishman’s 40th yahrzeit, on 26 Iyar, 5738, I was extremely busy with various work-related projects and trainings, in addition to my normal schedule. Nevertheless, I threw caution to the winds and immediately agreed to do it as a true labor of love because of the strong kesher (connection) our family and so many others shared with Reuven. Not only was he beloved Above and below but also, since he was killed as a bachur leaving no descendants, the memories kept alive in the hearts of his many yedidim (friends) have to serve in lieu of biological offspring. With the passage of time, our memories haven’t dulled, but they have inevitably receded from the forefront of our consciousness.
Reuven was one of six passengers killed in the terrorist bus bombing of June 2, 1978, when an Egged bus exploded in Bayit Vegan near the end of its route. To understand Reuven’s life and how he came to be in Yerushalayim that fateful day, I will first present a brief biographical sketch.
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Reuven was the firstborn son of a nonobservant family from Silver Spring, Maryland, born on May 5, 1948. I always felt that Reuven had inherited his prodigious intellect from his father, federal administrative judge Frederick Fishman, and his equally remarkable chein and sweetness from his mother, Evelyn. He had a younger brother, Larry, who studied law at Stanford, and a younger sister, Ruth, who had an interest in dance.
Reuven graduated from the University of Pennsylvania with a degree in sociology in 1970. He had a strong interest in health, which led to his planning a career in medicine. During and after college, he supported himself by producing and/or distributing organic apple juice and later granola and other health foods, and apparently followed a holistic diet during this period. He returned to school for a year of premed courses from 1972 to 1973. He then enrolled at Ner Yisroel in the fall of 1973, deferring his initial year of med school at the University of Maryland to pursue yeshiva studies for the first time.
Although little is known of what initially inspired Reuven’s interest in Jewish observance, during his college years, he reportedly met a Lubavitcher in Boston (according to Rabbi Nisson Wolpin’s Jewish Observer tribute) and embarked on his unceasing quest for growth in Yiddishkeit.
After a period of study at Ner Yisroel and several years in medical school, he arranged for another leave of absence to pursue Torah studies, (including Talmud, halacha, and medical ethics) the year before his death. He had traveled to Yerushalayim just the week before the bus bombing. His plan was to study in yeshiva there, learn with his chavrusa, (as will be explained below), and consult with poskim, including the author of Shemiras Shabbos Kehilchassa, prior to his return to the summer session in med school, which was scheduled to begin on July 5.
Ironically, the date of the bus bombing that took his life was the very day on which he would have celebrated his graduation from medical school, surrounded by his classmates and family, if he had not taken off time to “learn.” In contrast, Reuven’s unique “graduation,” representing the culmination of all his efforts to perfect himself in the brief 30 years ordained for him in this world, was purely metaphysical and the cause of a profound and prolonged international outpouring of grief.
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To mark this yahrzeit, I contacted as many of Reuven’s close friends as possible, to incorporate their reminiscences, reflections, and perspectives on his brief but meaningful life and shocking, tragic death. Now, I will “turn over the floor” to them.[1] Hopefully, this piece can function as an introduction to his unassuming greatness for those who never had the privilege to know him and as an opportunity for his many close friends and admirers to appreciate him even more deeply. As Reuven was quite musical, it is apt to offer their words as a “medley” of memories.
We start with the family that knew him first. As Reuven was inspired to learn more about Yiddishkeit, he initially sought out religious contacts in his native Silver Spring. In 1969 and ’70, he became a frequent Shabbos guest at the home of Dr. Joshua Rosenbloom, a”h, a physicist who was raising his four children in a neighborhood about two miles away from the Fishmans.
Rabbi Amiel Rosenbloom: “When Reuven was just becoming frum, he would visit us frequently, often bringing gifts of his natural foods. He continued to be close with our whole family for the rest of his life. When I entered Ner Yisroel as a teen, he was already established in yeshiva and offered me help and support in coping with a painful and debilitating illness with which I was then diagnosed, as well as with my adjustment to being away from home. He was someone you could always turn to for help, extremely warm and level-headed. He was such an amazing person in that his strong convictions and beliefs never adversely affected how he related to people. He was not in the least judgmental but would always smile at me, stroke his beard as I expressed my concerns, and offer me guidance.
“As a postscript, my father was extremely involved with his parents after his petira (death), helping them to rescind their insistence that Reuven be returned to America for his burial. Because it pained his parents to keep his black medical bag and medical texts in their home after his death, they entrusted them to my father, who later gave them to us when my wife Isabelle entered medical school in 1980.”
Mrs. Miriam Rosenbloom Goldman: Brought to tears by her recollections of Reuven, Miriam said, “Reuven was such a special person that just being in his presence made you feel special as well. He was so warm and friendly, natural, and easy-going and would do anything for anyone! He was just becoming frum when we met him, and we were in awe of his amazingly rapid growth in Yiddishkeit. Years later, he offered me a ride from Baltimore to Silver Spring. When I arrived to meet him at his host’s house, he was interacting with their children, playing and tumbling around. He was always so good with kids! Knowing that I had just gotten my driver’s license, he immediately offered me the opportunity to gain practice by driving his car on our hour-long trip home. Not only did he share his car without hesitation but also offered me driving pointers, in such a gentle, tactful way. That was Reuven!”
Reb Yisroel and Mrs. Ora Rosenbloom: Reb Yisroel: “Reuven was so pleasant, with such a special smile, yet also highly intelligent and inquisitive. He got his degree in sociology and was very insightful and perceptive. Later I marveled at the observations he shared regarding our family dynamics: he was so on target! He wasn’t at all high strung; nothing ever fazed him. Although his father didn’t agree with his decision to become religious, he would pick Reuven up after Shabbos and come in to visit. It was clear that Reuven succeeded in maintaining a very good relationship with his father, without any interpersonal tension, despite their different views.”
Ora: “Reuven came to visit us in Sanhedria when he first came to Israel, to deliver a letter from my father-in-law. My husband wasn’t home, and I apologized that I was in a rush because I had to search for a babysitter on my way out to work, Reuven immediately offered to babysit! I asked him about his initial impressions of Israel, and he said he would share them with us on motza’ei Shabbos, when we had invited him to visit. Sadly, that visit never took place.”
Reb Yisroel recounted many details regarding Reuven’s petira, levaya, and kevura as well as his father’s role in serving as an intermediary between Reuven’s parents and the poskim, including Rav Zolty, Chief Rabbi of Yerushalayim, who ruled that the kevura should be in Eretz Yisrael: “I believe that it was Menachem Porush, together with the chevra kadisha, who arranged for Reuven’s kever, levaya, and buses to transport everyone to Har Hazeisim at midnight Sunday night for the kevura.”
Reb Yisroel also borrowed a lot of money, since it was rumored that a bribe might be needed to prevent an autopsy, which at that time Hadassah Hospital routinely insisted on performing. Brawny bachurim from Ohr Somayach were dispatched to the hospital to guard Reuven’s body over Shabbos.
“The levaya was extremely well-attended. The mekubal Rav Binyamin Zev Peshin stated that the bus bombing took place on the 41st day of the Omer, associated with the sefira of Yesod Sheb’Yesod, a day of din (judgment). Until the end of his life, my father said kaddish for Reuven, and after he passed away, I have said kaddish in his stead.”
Dr. Avi Mendlowitz: “I was also from Silver Spring and probably met Reuven through the Rosenblooms. We were at Ner Yisroel together my last year of yeshiva before medical school. He was a baal teshuva with a very determined outlook on life. He had found his calling and had his life all mapped out. He wanted to become a doctor for idealistic rather than materialistic reasons. It was his intention to work a few hours in the morning and learn for the rest of the day. He had given a lot of thought to the kind of life partner he was seeking, and we had discussions about the role of a wife, etc. I had left Ner Yisroel a bit before the zman ended to spend some time in Eretz Yisrael, where my parents had an apartment, before beginning medical school. Reuven was planning to stay with me in our apartment in Rechavia. He came erev Shabbos to drop off some of his things, and I then went out to copy the key for him, while he planned to return to Bayit Vegan to retrieve more of his belongings. Of course, he never returned. I was initially concerned that he was delayed but not alarmed. Even when I heard the news of the bus bombing, I was in significant denial. I actually got right on a bus to Bayit Vegan to search for him, close to Shabbos.
“At the entrance of Bayit Vegan, we saw the burned-out bus he had ridden. I then went back to the Rosenblooms to tell them, and we were all in shock. I later found out that, because his body had been the only one not identified before Shabbos, bachurim canvassed the area to inquire if anyone had been expecting a guest who never arrived. Reuven had planned to eat the Friday night seuda in Shaarei Chesed that night. When his host became aware of the situation, he walked at least two hours traversing many hills on the way to Hadassah Hospital, to aid in identifying Reuven, never even having met him.
“I called the police on motza’ei Shabbos, because I was at a loss as to what to do. When I asked about his funeral, the police said that he was being returned to the States, at the family’s request. (That decision was later reversed through the intercession of poskim.) Sunday was (ironically) Yom Yerushalayim, and all I could do was wander about aimlessly until the levaya. The levaya was an amazing tribute to Reuven. All the yeshivas emptied out to attend; half the city was there! Then, exactly at the time of the kevura at midnight on Har Hazeisim, overlooking Har Habayis, there was an unseasonable rain, which made a very deep impression of all of us. The heavens were literally crying over Reuven!”
Mrs. Brocha Eichenthal: “Reuven was a frequent Shabbos guest and ben bayis in our home in Brooklyn. He meant so much to us that my husband [Mr. Yitzchok Eichenthal] and I wanted to name the baby I was expecting at the time of Reuven’s petira after him. Rav Yaakov Kamenetsky advised us to name our daughter Shulamis (after Reuven’s middle name, Shlomo). Reuven’s photograph was a fixture on the wall of our Brooklyn home, all the years!”
When the Eichenthals retired to Lakewood to live near their children, Reuven’s photo accompanied them and still retains its place of honor in the kitchen, despite the exponential increase in the family photos (kein yirbu!) over the past 40 years.
Rabbi Tzvi Hersh Weinreb, Rabbi Emeritus of Shomrei Emunah: “Reuven was a frequent Shabbos guest when we were living in the Fountainview Apartments and he was in medical school. He would often come by late at night for dinner (leftovers!) and linger to talk. He was extremely bright, and we discussed everything. He was very serious about his medical studies and expressed a concern about specific issues, such as the lack of sufficient emphasis on medical research. In fact, he debated pursuing a career in research rather than clinical work to help redress this imbalance. His connection with our children was much more profound than that of our other Shabbos guests (as also reflected by the gifts he brought them), and we often discussed parenting. He was well-versed in music and loved singing and special nigunim. Reuven had also succeeded in interesting his mother in Yiddishkeit and he brought her to classes I taught at Etz Chaim. All in all, Reuven was a part of the family, a person of true dedication and devotion, coupled with a sense of humor. His petira was a huge loss of potential and deeply affected not only Chavie and me but also our children.”
Rabbi Shaya Sackett: “When Reuven came to Ner Yisroel, I learned with him in Rabbi Mintz’s shiur, together with Moshe Rappaport. The first thing we noticed about Reuven was his illuminating smile; the second thing was his striking sincerity. He was such a “real” person! We were all rookies in the yeshiva system, but whereas we were 18, he was in his mid-20s and much more mature. For example, he taught us to cope with the stress associated with our unfamiliarity with learning gemara by practicing (relaxation) breathing. Although he had come to yeshiva with almost no background, he took to learning immediately and loved it. Characteristically, he would cling to every daf, reviewing until he could understand, remember, and ‘make it his own.’ He was outstanding in his clarity in recognizing the truth of Torah and in his shleimus, simchas hachaim (joie de vivre), and concern for others. We named our first son for Reuven and for a number of years used to bring him along as a source of comfort for Reuven’s mother when we visited her in Silver Spring.”
Rabbi Nosson Scherman: “Reuven and I met as fellow participants at a Yarchei Kallah (learning event) in Lakewood. We got to know each other, and he asked me to learn with him for a half-hour daily for those 12 days. He visited us as a Shabbos guest several times afterwards, but we really became close as we drove together from Brooklyn to Baltimore for a chasana. Reuven had an electric smile and a tremendous personality. He was very thoughtful and very bright. When he wanted to take off from medical school a second time to learn for a year, he was told that he would have to reapply for admission, as he had already taken the sole permissible year leave of absence. He didn’t want to risk the possibility that he wouldn’t be readmitted, but he was very set on learning. Despite his father’s opposition to Reuven’s religiosity, he nevertheless reassured Reuven: ‘I understand the bureaucratic mentality, and you needn’t fear. Since they accepted you once, they will accept you again rather than admit that they made a mistake on you originally!’
“When Reuven and I discussed his journey to Yiddishkeit, it was evident that he didn’t become a baal teshuva as a result of an emotional experience but due to his philosophical mind and intellectual probing. Similarly, he was motivated to pursue a medical career not because it was then a lucrative field but because of his altruistic desire to help people and improve their lives. His father was very strong-minded in his beliefs, but although Reuven was equally strong in his own convictions and commitment to Yiddishkeit, he was interpersonally mellow and so easy to get along with. He was a ‘people person,’ never angry at anyone and quite patient. His level of sincerity was very, very impressive!
“Unfortunately, the route Reuven was traveling at the time of his death had been the site of previous bombing tragedies, as the #12 bus to Bayit Vegan originated at Shaar Shechem, in the dangerous neighborhood of the Arab shuk. Residents of Bayit Vegan had previously campaigned unsuccessfully to convince the government to change the route to eliminate the opportunity for the Arabs to plant bombs on the bus before passengers boarded. Evidently, the government considered this akin to kowtowing to terrorists, so they preserved the status quo. After the bombing that killed Reuven and a number of schoolchildren, local askanim (activists) wanted to organize a demonstration to protest this tragic inaction. When the yeshiva Kol Torah was asked to send its bachurim to the demonstration, the Rosh Yeshiva, Rav Shlomo Zalman Auerbach, zt”l, paskened, ‘We have to show solidarity with the pain of our [bereaved] neighbors by sending all the local bachurim to the demonstration. However, out-of-town students must first secure their parents’ permission to participate, because their parents sent them to Eretz Yisrael to learn, not to demonstrate.’
“It was noteworthy that after Reuven’s death, his father [who had been strenuously opposed to Reuven’s traveling to Israel] nevertheless demonstrated his support of Israel by telling the reporter who was interviewing him, ‘Tell the President that he should send Israel the fighter jets [which Israel had then been requesting, to strengthen its defense against its enemies].’”
Rabbi Dovid Spetner: “My brother-in-law, Rabbi Mayer Parker, was Reuven’s chavrusa. When the bus bombing took place, I was a bachur in Ner Yisroel, and I still remember the fiery mussar shmuess that the Rosh Hayeshiva, Rav Ruderman, delivered to the bachurim, linking the tragedy that claimed the life of a talmid of the yeshiva to our imperfections and detailing how we needed to improve. We were deeply shaken!”
Rabbi Mayer Parker: “Thank you for the opportunity to reflect back on my relationship with Reuven at his 40th yahrzeit! Chazal explain that a period of 40 years marks the completion of a cycle in time, as in the dor hamidbar (generation of the desert), which makes this memorial even more meaningful.
“Reuven became one of our regular Shabbos guests when we were newlyweds and new in town. He was extra special: so polite, so socially comfortable and adept, and so intelligent. At 23, I viewed him as wise and savvy, with life experience. He was in medical school at the time, and we began a nightly chavrusa. He then took a leave of absence to learn full time at Ner Yisroel. It was my ambitious goal to learn halacha in depth, beginning with hilchos Shabbos. Reuven, who was conscientious and serious about wanting to get the most benefit from his year of learning, agreed to embark on this project with me. In his wise and pragmatic way, he became our plan’s anchor. With the understanding and gentleness of a big brother, he managed to temper our goals into something realistic, without taking away my dream. In retrospect, I realize how much he conveyed the sense, ‘I believe in you!’ Reuven’s patience was unfailing and his daily dose of encouragement was ‘just what the doctor ordered.’
“We were scheduled to be in Eretz Yisrael for two weeks during the Pesach break, but due to medical complications, we were forced to remain there for a difficult extra month or so. I was very anxious to get back to Baltimore to resume learning with my wise mentor and receiving his encouragement. Upon our return home, however, we were greeted by my brother-in-law, Dovid Spetner, whose first words to me were, ‘Your chavrusa just left yesterday for Eretz Yisrael to meet up with you, but I guess he was too late!’ I realized that we must have passed each other in the air. And that was the closest I would ever be to Reuven again! Reuven’s final lesson to me was the deepest and most difficult of all, no less than Hashem’s yichud itself. As the Ramchal states in Da’as Tevunos (the Knowing Heart), ‘Ani Rishon, va-Ani Acharon. Ani Hashem, lo shanisi – I am Who I am, from the beginning until the end, and I don’t change [although My ways can’t always be understood.]’ Although our relationship was brief in the context of an entire lifespan, it constituted the very essence of life: For me, Reuven’s life and death were nothing less than the kli (vessel) for emuna (faith)!”
Chaya Drucker: Since Reuven at times confided in me regarding his shidduchim, I was able to contact a woman he dated until they determined that they were not a perfect fit. Here are her (understandably anonymous) reminiscences:
“Reuven was an ish emes (man of truth) who pursued the emes with a lot of energy. He was an incredibly analytical, intelligent, insightful person, with a lot of ambition. He was able to see the big picture in everything, including the ‘frum world.’ He had a strong sense of purpose, and there was so much he wanted to accomplish. Reuven had a real sense of urgency, almost as if he operated with some presentiment that his time was limited. He definitely never wanted to waste time, viewing it as a valuable commodity. He was fascinated by the interface between medicine and halacha before it was in vogue, and would speak with gedolim in conjunction with the sefer he was writing on medical ethics and halacha. He had an incredible respect for talmidei chachamim, and his highest regard was for those dedicated to emes.
“Of course, we spent a lot of time discussing the type of home he envisioned establishing. He explained that he was very methodical in arranging to spend a considerable amount of time in certain homes, in order to learn from their strengths and special qualities, and to internalize and integrate all the aspects he wanted to incorporate in his future home and family. He was extremely goal-oriented and would plan all the steps from point A to point B. For example, he had definite ideas about women and the kind of mother he wanted for his children, for he very strongly believed that the quality of a woman’s involvement with her home and relationship with her children was an essential prerequisite to the success of the home. All in all, these qualities, together with his unusual degree of derech eretz, aidelkeit, refined character, and inner strength conveyed a sense of personal majesty!”
Some personal reflections: Since my husband (Rabbi Reuven Drucker) and I recognized the same stellar qualities in Reuven as have already been expressed, I won’t reiterate them here. I would like to add, though, how unusually committed Reuven was to learning everything possible about chinuch habanim, even before getting married, in order to accomplish all his lofty goals for his future family. We shared a passion for parenting and, specifically, for connecting deeply and communicating positively with children, creating a profound parent-child bond not only as an end in itself but also as the vehicle for the faithful transmission of the mesora (tradition) with undiminished enthusiasm from generation to generation. Since we lived in the “mansion” adjacent to the yeshiva in the earliest years of our relationship with Reuven, he would sometimes stop by during breaks, when he observed my interactions and conversations with our children as we played outside, spawning hours of adult discussion of these topics, typically at future Shabbos meals.
The extent of Reuven’s acts of chesed and genius bein adam lechaveiro (interpersonal relations) was revealed to us during a period in which he rented a room opposite our apartment in the mansion. Since there were no cell phones and no phone in his room, we unexpectedly became his chesed project command center. Reuven was then traveling to Brooklyn regularly for Shabbos or for weekends, probably to pursue shidduchim, but so far as I can remember, he never traveled alone! It was typical for us to receive 10 or more phone calls each week from people requesting a ride from Reuven or responding to his offer of a ride. And any space in the car that wasn’t taken by his many passengers was devoted to providing a delivery service for all the myriad packages people wanted to send with him to or from Brooklyn, which, of course, necessitated its own round of phone calls and messages. I remember marveling at the sheer number of his personal connections and wondering if Reuven’s kindness and caring were a bit excessive, at times. But I came to realize that this was just an external manifestation of who he was, a perfectly genuine and natural expression of his desire to give of himself to help others.
As so many people have described, Reuven excelled at setting goals, planning ahead, and preparing for every aspect of his future: in his Torah learning, his medical studies and career, his visions for his future marriage, children, and home, etc. When his life was cut off so abruptly – before he had the chance to realize his goals of marrying, fathering children, and establishing the home he dreamed of, before he had the opportunity to practice medicine and provide the humanitarian service he envisioned while earmarking the bulk of his day for learning Torah – it seemed so senseless and unfair. He never had the opportunity to actualize any of his carefully laid plans in any of these areas! But eventually it dawned on me that in Reuven’s brief life, he truly fulfilled his goals, specifically through developing and dedicating himself to accomplishing every objective and consistently and calmly executing every plan. Because he was so focused and disciplined, with such crystal clarity, he “did it all,” in his brief 30 years. His tafkid (mission) was evidently to accomplish many of his goals in the realm of machshava (thought), whereas most of us are meant to accomplish our life’s purpose in the realm of ma’asim (deeds).
Furthermore, due to his measured and harmonious approach to life – exemplified by his “finding the time” to do it all. During the day, he went to yeshiva and medical school and excelled. Then, in the evening, he drove an hour to Silver Spring to chauffeur his mother to evening classes at the Etz Chaim, which my husband and I had cofounded in 1976 with another kollel couple, Rabbi and Mrs. Chaim Gibber. While she was there, he learned with his chavrusa and returned to drive his mother back to Silver Spring and then drive back to Baltimore. Reuven maintained more close relationships than many people have in a lifetime of 80 or 90 years. It can truly be said that Reuven was granted “all the time in the world” to fulfill his mission.
In the aftermath: Rabbi Zvi Willner, of Ner Yisroel, sought to comfort Reuven’s parents during the shiva by sharing this vort: “The Gemara in Sukkah 53A says, ‘R’ Yochanan said, “The feet of a person are his guarantors to bring to the place where he is destined to die.”’ Shlomo Hamelech saw the malach hamaves (angel of death) looking sad. When he asked him why, the malach hamaves told Shlomo that he had been dispatched to kill two people (Shlomo’s sofrim). To safeguard them, Shlomo arranged to have them transported to Luz, where the malach hamaves had no jurisdiction. However, just as they arrived at the entrance to the city, they both died, at which point Shlomo saw the malach hamaves smiling.
“From this the Gemara derives that a person’s feet are bound to bring him where he is ordained to go, for Hashem’s decrees cannot be thwarted. Evidently, Reuven was meant to die in Eretz Yisrael, as a zechus (merit), and the outcome was inevitable. This message preempts the painful second guessing, recriminations, and imputations of causality to which we might otherwise be prone in the face of such a tragedy.”
Among those offering heartfelt and stirring hespedim (eulogies) in the yeshiva were the Rosh Hayeshiva (Rav Ruderman), zt”l, Rabbi Yaakov Weinberg, zt”l, Rabbi Naftali Neuberger zt”l, and, ybl”c, Rabbi Moshe Eisemann, and Rabbi Nosson Scherman. Their remarks were covered by the Baltimore Jewish Times, and articles about Reuven were also written in The Jewish Observer, The Washington Post, and The Baltimore Sun. Of course there was also extensive news coverage on the radio here and in Eretz Yisrael. Reuven’s tragic departure from this world truly created shock waves on both sides of the Atlantic, attesting to the significance of the loss we and the world suffered at the passing of such a tzadik. Yehi zichro baruch!
Anyone who would like to add reminiscences or reflections regarding Reuven Shlomo ben Simcha, Hy”d, is invited to contact Chaya Drucker at Chaya_drucker@msn.com; 110 N. Eleventh Ave., Highland Park, N.J. 08904; 732 236-3110. Additionally, anyone who would like to be notified annually of Reuven’s yahrzeit, should contact the Ner Yisroel at 410-484-7200 or mglazer@nirc.edu.
Please note that although I quoted many of the contributors’ comments verbatim, other comments were paraphrased and at times condensed for clarity and readability. I apologize to those to whom I spoke whose memories were not included for space reasons. I apologize also to those of Reuven’s numerous close friends whom I was unable to reach or inadvertently overlooked.
