In the introduction to this series, I explained how, many years
ago, I wrote a book for my children on advice for life. It was based largely on
Pirkei Avos, whose principles I have
tried to live by and tried to instill in them. Parts one and two of this
four-part series dealt largely with choosing a marriage partner. In part three,
I continue with another element of success in life, namely family finances. This
includes learning and working, planning for a career, investing, and using money as Hashem intended. This fits in well
with the investment theme of this month’s Where
What When.
I repeat my customary disclaimer
for the series: I am not preaching, nor am I qualified to give anyone mussar. These are simply words of advice
from a loving father to his children and grandchildren. They stem from my
personal Torah education, hashkafa (religious
outlook), and life experiences. I also included family stories, history, and minhagim. I challenge fathers and
mothers to write their own version of an ethical will and family history. Their
advice may differ greatly from mine, and that is fine! The important thing is
for children to know about their parents’ ideals and their forebears’ admirable
qualities and accomplishments, and especially their middos, in which the grandchildren can take pride and emulate.
The written word creates a very
precious legacy of our life spent in this temporary world. It is a marvelous treasure
to our mishpachos, to be transmitted
to future doros (generations). If these
letters get some of you to take on this project, then my goal in sharing them
will have been accomplished.
* * *
Dear
Children,
We have talked about having a relationship
with Hashem and what to look for in a spouse. The next area to discuss is one
of the most difficult: the balance between learning and working. Our family mesorah follows the approach of Harav
Samson Raphael Hirsch, zt”l, and his hashkafah (outlook) of Torah im derech eretz.
Learning and
Working
It was decided way back at Gan Eden that,
because of the sin of Adam and Chavah, our onesh
(punishment) would be to toil for our sustenance. While limud haTorah, our learning, is uppermost in our lives, we must work
to support the family in this world of gashmius.
This balance of Torah and gashmius is
one of the most difficult areas to deal with as a young adult. The decision of whether
to stay in learning full time or to enter a profession while continuing one’s learning
is one with which you and your spouse must be completely comfortable. Here is
where seichel (common sense) and
seeking advice from parents and rebbeim
is most important. Key to remember is to ask yourself what Hashem expects of
you.
Excellent is
the study of the Torah when combined with a worldly occupation, for toil in
them both keeps sin out of one’s mind; But [study of the] Torah which is not
combined with a worldly occupation, in the end comes to be neglected and
becomes the cause of sin. Pirkei Avos 2:2
Emunah,
faith,
is a beautiful trait you must possess at every moment of your life, but it must
be based on earthly experience and not nissim
venifla’os (miracles). Those are truly bonuses that Hashem grants us. Ein somchin al haness (we don’t rely on
miracles). One should be moser nefesh (self-sacrificing)
for Torah learning as long as the mesiras
nefesh is truly and fairly shared
with respect to one’s spouse.
All gashmius
emanates from Hashem, to whom we must show hakara
(appreciation) for everything he bestows upon us. Don’t be too chutzpadik
in asking Hashem or a spouse to cover your personal needs. Hashem will always
help, but you must make a concerted effort to see that your spouse and children
are properly cared for. When parents can help the young couple, baruch Hashem, but children must use seichel to come up with a plan that
Hashem, parents, and spouses can understand, to create a bright future. Kollel
learning can be essential for a ben Torah,
provided that seichel and hadracha (guidance) are followed in
determining the length and scope of learning during the married years. There is
no one derech (path) or formula that
everyone should follow. This decision must be based on several factors,
including where a person is in his Torah learning, the effect on the
individual, and the effect on the spouse and family.
One important lesson in regard to hishtadlus (livelihood efforts) can be
learned from the minhag of leaving a
piece of bread on the table when we say Bircas
Hamazon. We ask Hashem, when bentching,
for the bracha (blessing) of
sustenance. When we daven to Hashem
and make a request, we have a far greater rate of success in our tefillos (prayers) when we ask Hashem to
add to the hishtadlus we have already
exerted in this matter. Therefore, the bread already on the table acts as a
catalyst to a future bracha. Hashem
helps those who help themselves. Remember, we can ask Hashem for anything, but
the Ribono Shel Olam, I believe, will take pride in our hishtadlus, and the bracha
will be more easily attained after we have already put in our own best efforts.
Whatever your decision regarding your
continued Torah education and learning, absolutely the most important thing is
to set aside a specific time for your daily Torah study. Set goals in learning
and make many siyumim. Celebrate each
siyum and maintain good chsvrusos (partners) in learning and in
friendship. A chavrusa is a sounding
board. It is most important to talk out learning, because if you can properly
explain it, then you’ll truly understand it.
Make your
[study of the] Torah a fixed practice. Pirkei
Avos 1:15
Career
Path
Another difficult decision you have to
make is choosing a career. Work occupies a third of each workday and more for over
40 years. A career provides your family with its needs for physical sustenance
as well as providing a role for you in your community. Our jobs affect our
lives. They challenge our mental and physical abilities. Through our work, we
are introduced to a workplace community that may be different from our regular
social environment.
Make sure your job is compatible with your
religious beliefs and religious philosophy. Make sure your work is fulfilling
and something you enjoy each and every day. If at first you don’t succeed,
learn from mistakes, stick with it, and your eventual success will be even
sweeter.
Take small steps
and climb the corporate ladder one rung at a time. That way, if you stumble,
you only fall one rung. Catch your breath and continue the climb.
Who
is rich? He who rejoices in his lot. Pirkei
Avos 4:1
Portfolio
Management
Never put all your eggs in one basket. Diversity
is crucial. A good portfolio must have the following components:
1) Some
instant liquidity, for cash.
2) Stock
equities or mutual funds for growth.
3) Fixed
income vehicles, such as bonds and savings.
4) Real
estate: your home and investment properties.
5) IRA
accounts for retirement
6) Insurance:
health, life, disability, liability, property.
7) Gold,
jewelry, other assets.
8) A
will, which is very explicit in directing assets to the proper parties.
The most important rules of portfolio
management are:
1)
Seek sound professional management.
2)
Diversify to spread risk.
3)
Allocate funds properly to each
investment. One formula is to subtract your age from 100, and keep that
percentage of your portfolio in high-quality equities. Keep the balance in
fixed income vehicles.
4)
Buy only quality and proven
investments.
Keep
meticulous records and an excellent filing system and use common sense in every
financial decision. Study each opportunity carefully and slowly, and never rush
into any investment. No matter how good it sounds, remember that, if it sounds
too good to be true, it probably isn’t. Surround yourself with proven,
experienced professionals. Take small steps to your pre-decided investment
goals. Reinvest dividends and allow your money to compound for you. Any time someone
promises you an unrealistic rate of return (more than 12 percent in today’s
financial atmosphere) watch out: you will be gambling, not investing.
G-d’s
Money Manager
Make acts of chesed and tzedaka a
priority. Remember that whatever worldly possessions we have are entrusted to
us by Hakadosh Baruch Hu (G-d) to put to good use. They really aren’t our
possessions at all. We are merely managing them. It is fine to use some of your
possessions for your own needs, but it is equally as important to share with
those who are in need. The way we manage Hashem’s possessions can determine how
much He will entrust to us in the future. Besides being a mitzva, tzedaka is the best investment opportunity
of your life. Each act of chesed and tzedaka compounds at an unbelievable
rate of “interest.” Tzedaka is a
guaranteed investment: Not only do you get a full return on principal, but the
dividends are outstanding.
The
more tzedakah, the more peace. Pirkei
Avos 2:7
Let
the property of your fellow be as precious unto you as your own. Pirkei Avos 2:12
Each and every year, calculate your maaser (tithe) and “invest” the maaser in tzedakos that pay the highest “dividends.” Support aniyim (the needy), Torah institutions,
and institutions of chesed. Here
again, always diversify. Look to invest your tzedaka with organizations that have low operating overhead. Give
to mosdos (institutions) with sound
professional management. Spend your tzedaka
on quality, proven projects in your community and Eretz Yisrael.
To
be continued…
