by Shani,
Dena, and Daniella
Babysitting
– a loaded topic for sure. Finding a babysitter can be challenging in and of
itself, but once we do find one, how can we best facilitate a good babysitting
experience for the babysitter, children, and parents, too? We trust babysitters
with our most precious jewels, sometimes for the majority of the day. Don’t all
parents want to know what the sitter is really thinking? To get an insider’s
perspective, we spoke to a real-life nanny, Adriana Rosie, to find out what babysitters
really care about.
Adriana is better known to some as the “non-Jewish Nanny.” A
single ad she placed on care.com turned into a career nannying for the Jewish community of South
Florida. Having never interacted with a Jewish person prior to her first
babysitting job, just two years ago, Adriana has fallen in love with the Jewish
community and eats yapchik with the
best of them. We sat down with her to get her take on the dos and don’ts
when it comes to babysitters, her must-have baby products, and her thoughts working
in the Jewish community.
Do’s and Don’ts
When asked what qualities parents look for when choosing a
babysitter, Adriana answers, “A good babysitter is someone who loves kids and
enjoys spending time with them,” says Adriana. “The babysitter should not be
intimidated by children who don’t necessarily fit the mold. Rather, she should
know that every child has different needs, which can be creatively met.”
Adriana explains that she goes with the flow and accommodates
the needs of all her “kids” as much as possible. Adriana dresses in colorful
clothing and fun accessories when she’s on the job to make her more
approachable to the children. She adds that her bubbly personality makes the
kids feel like she’s their friend or even big sister. “Kids are silly and
animated – and that’s what they like in others, too!” says Adriana, “So speak
fun and learn to make playtime out of anything.”
A babysitter who
gives this much thought to her dress will surely give attention to the more
significant details of childcare.
Adriana welcomes parents having nanny cams around the house,
joking that she would have one if she had a nanny for her dog. “So, parents
should put one on me.” She pointed out that babysitters should not be using
their phones while on the job. “A nanny should engage and interact with your
children and, in a way, raise them while you’re out.”
We as mothers
subscribe to this because we know phones can be very distracting, and it can
only take a minute of looking away for little people to get into something they
shouldn’t.
What comprises a good nanny-parent relationship? According to
Adriana, parents are usually the ones interviewing a potential babysitter, but
babysitters choose families as much as parents choose them. Adriana thinks of
the parent as her partner, not necessarily as her boss. “Babysitters and
parents must respectfully work together to ensure that the children receive the
best care,” says Adriana, adding that “Parents should be thorough in describing
their children’s quirks and have a good handoff before leaving. Where’s the
paci? Where’s the blanket?”
Although taking care
of our children comes naturally to us as parents, we always have to think about
how we can help our babysitters provide our children with the best care. This
is especially true in the beginning while everyone is trying to get to know
each other. As an example, if it is normal for your child to cry for a few
minutes when put down for a nap, let the babysitter know so she can be familiar
with your child’s routine.
We asked Adriana if she ever felt like she wasn’t the right fit
for a child. She laughed and said, “It’s never the child, but in rare
instances, parents can make the job more difficult.” Adriana likes parents to
know that a child who cries as their parents leave almost always calms down
within a few minutes. She worked with a family where the parent would stick
around rather than saying a brief but secure “see you later” and leaving.
Though a long farewell may work for some children, the child was having a hard
time with this kind of goodbye.
After two weeks, Adriana said, “I’m taking her for a walk. I
will set my timer for four minutes. If she doesn’t stop crying in that time, I
will bring her right back.” She stopped within two minutes and continued
happily on the walk. Adriana says that nine times out of ten, the kid will stop
crying within 30 seconds of the parent leaving.
If you’ve ever
dropped your child off at a babysitter crying, you most likely kept that sad
image in the back of your mind for the rest of the day. What you don’t
necessarily see is a loving babysitter who rushes to calm your child and make
him or her feel at ease.
Adriana was working a job where the mother was home and began
micromanaging what she was doing. “While a parent being home is not necessarily
an issue,” she says, “when a parent ends up doing everything herself, a
babysitter would feel unsure of her role – like, ‘why are you paying me?’”
In our own
experience, being present while having a babysitter in your home can be tricky.
If your children see you, they want your attention. A parent popping in and out
can create a challenge for the babysitter as she tries to ensure that you are
able to focus on your tasks and that the children are not disrupted by seeing
you.
Best Baby Products
Here are Adriana’s favorite baby products and top toy picks:
·
Adriana thinks that,
although the Doona is pricey, the convenience justifies the investment.
·
The Uppababy
grows with your baby and family too, converting into a double stroller.
·
Adriana recommends
having the rear mirror for rear-facing car seats.
·
Pacifier wipes are
great when you’re on the go.
·
The Nanobebe
bottle is what Adriana recommends for babies who nurse but take a bottle from
the babysitter.
·
For toddlers, go for
a sippy cup that doesn’t spill (we like the Munchkin Simple Clean Straw Cup,
$11.99 for two on Amazon).
·
Adriana says the Baby
Shusher is a must-have for soothing newborns.
·
Adriana has never met
a baby who liked the Mamaroo swing and doesn’t think it’s worth the buy.
·
Kids love the viral “cactus
toy,” which repeats messages along with a fun dance (look it up!)
·
The classic bead maze
supports color and shape recognition and promotes fine motor skills.
·
Adriana notes that “You
can put any toy in front of the kids, but it’s how you play with them that
matters. Kids play with suction cups and think it’s the greatest thing ever!”
Working in the Jewish Community
Adriana started nannying in the Jewish community at a time when
her life felt heavy. It was the perfect time to start her nannying career
because the kids made her feel lighter and more carefree. The families gave her
a sense of wholesomeness. Although she did not realize it was missing, that was
exactly what she needed. She admires how everything we do in Judaism is with
intention, and she now feels her life is more grounded and meaningful.
One of Adriana’s favorite aspects of the Jewish religion is
Shabbos and how it prioritizes family time, which reflects how much we value
the family unit. Even though the Jewish community is insular, Adriana
appreciates that our community is accepting of others. “People who are not
Jewish comment on my page that they can’t believe the families let me into
their homes, but the families don’t feel like that at all. They love me because
I cherish their children and take good care of them.”
Adriana says that she dresses modestly of her own accord, and in
this way, she and her families have mutual respect for each other.
We asked Adriana what made her choose to base her social media
platform on the fact that she is a nanny for the Jewish community, especially
since she is an opera singer as well, a field in which she holds a master’s
degree. She says, “I was using my spare time between opera rehearsals to create
content for social media in various categories. None of them took off until I
began posting about my life as a nanny for the Jewish community last summer.”
Now, with nearly 30,000 followers across her social media
platforms, Adriana may be the only non-Jewish influencer to have a following made
up of mostly Jews. Adriana says Jewish influencers who have a mixed following
receive a lot of hateful and negative comments from non-Jewish followers, yet
her page gets only love and positivity. “This is a testament to the warm and
welcoming nature of the Jewish community that I have experienced,” says Adriana.
“I am thankful that my platform is a positive space to share my life as a
non-Jewish nanny.”
