I remember the scene well. We are about eight or nine years old, getting ready to go out for recess or some other enjoyable activity. “David” rushes to the teacher and in an excited burst asks: “Can Johnny and me be first in line?”
The teacher’s finger rises. She pauses. She pronounces: “Can Johnny and – I – be first in line?”
There is a hush as the excitement drains from David’s face, and from the faces of the million other Davids and Susans who experienced the very same reprimand.
And this is where I imagine “me” was abandoned from our lexicon. Poor “me,” a perfectly legitimate word, was left unloved on some figurative school playground.
Fast forward to adulthood. The fear of using “me” continues. We hear it everywhere: the use of “I” when it should be “me”:
Let’s keep this between you and I.
Thank you for giving this award to my wife and I.
On behalf of my running mate and myself… (Yes, sometimes “myself” sneaks in)
The list goes on: You hear it on radio and television, from public speakers, and from people generally considered intelligent and well educated. Who can blame them? That third-grade teacher left an indelible mark on us. Although she was correct, we were at an age where we wanted to please and show how grown up we were, naively thinking if we just got rid of that pesky word altogether, we’d be safe from her recurrent reprimand.
Safely ensconced now in adulthood, I am doing my small part to bring “me” back to its rightful place. Here are the rules:
1) When used with prepositions: Remember prepositions, those words which you were not supposed to end a sentence with? (There, I did it!) This “rule” was made famous by Winston Churchill, who once objected to an editor’s heavy-handed revision of his sentence to avoid ending it with a preposition by exclaiming, “This is the sort of English up with which I will not put!”
But, getting back to the word “me,” it is used with prepositions, such as with, between, to, for, of, etc. For example: Just between you and me… Can you get the dictionary for me… Will you pass the avocado dip to me… Come with me….
2) When used as the object of a verb: When you say, “I cogitate…” I is the subject, the one doing the action of cogitating. Compare this to “He criticized me for thinking too much.” Here, I am the object, the one receiving the action – so “me” is in order.
A trick for remembering which word to use is to separate the two parts of the combo. For example, in the sentence, “My parents always supported my brother and I,” take out the word brother, and you are left with “My parents always supported I.” Doesn’t sound correct, does it?
You might say who cares? You should – if you care about being viewed as an educated person. You never know who might be listening to you; it could be a potential employer, a date, or a customer. It could even be me!
