September brings a breath of fresh air, literally, if you take into account Baltimore’s signature summer heat and humidity. The temperature has finally dropped to under “melting,” and we can breathe easy again. Unfortunately, the return to the soothing hum of routine may be an illusion that is only sustainable because our lives don’t come with background music. If they did, something ominous would certainly be playing. Something enormous is coming and will be upon us before we have a chance to turn around, something so immense it disrupts school, siphons sleep, and even has its own season: Yom Tov.
Keeping in mind that the Yom Tov season is a joyous time filled with a deep happiness and connection to our rich heritage, it still manages to suffocate some of our simcha as we struggle to keep our heads above water. We often find ourselves getting ready for a seuda (meal) before we finish washing the dishes from the last one. We lose track of how many times we return to the grocery store, and we cook until our fridges are bursting. Every year, as we collapse exhausted at the Yom Tov table, we promise ourselves that next year we will be ready in advance. Next year we will start to prepare much earlier. Next year we will really feel the simcha of Yom Tov. Well, now is next year. Now is the time to prepare for Yom Tov and reach our goal of a positive and pleasurable Tishrei.
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Some may think it’s too early to start getting ready for Rosh Hashanah, let alone for Sukkos and Simchas Torah. But that is also what they thought last year before their eyelids drooped right after candle lighting. While there is a great deal of research that applauds the creative benefits of procrastination, now, just a few weeks before Yom Tov, is not the time to personally test that data. Now is the time to get things done.
Of course, there are many things that can’t be done in advance: Salads would spoil, and you can’t very well set the table yet. Despite these obvious limitations, there are so many tasks that can be accomplished early that to leave them undone would be a waste of energy that will surely be needed later.
Basically, do anything that you can cross off of your “to do” list. There is little reason not to buy enough tissues this week to last through Simchas Torah. You can get plastic tablecloths, hot cups, and aluminum pans. You may have to be creative about where to store them, but knowing that you already have them and will not have to put them in your shopping cart before Yom Tov, when it is already overflowing, is worth the effort.
You can also make sure that everyone has enough socks, shoes that fit, white shirts, etc. No one should have to run to the store erev Yom Tov because they don’t have enough socks. This year, we also have to make sure that everyone has sweatshirts and gloves because Sukkos will be mid-October (though, in Baltimore that could still mean anything between boiling and freezing).
Another prime part of the Yom Tov season that can be done in advance is meal planning. Before you know it, there will be 12 festive meals rapidly approaching, plus nine Shabbos meals, plus the meals before and after Yom Kippur and Tzom Gedalia. That comes to 25 multicourse meals! Planning your menu now will leave you more time later to invest in what is really important: simchas Yom Tov.
You can decide your menu now – this week! You don’t have to make the salads this week, only choose which salads you will make later. Call your friends, flip through your magazines and cookbooks, look up some new dishes to try – and do it now. This will save you return trips to the grocery store when you don’t have the ingredients for new recipes, and it will save you the stress of trying to figure out what to make with the countdown to candle lighting echoing in your ears. While the grocery store before Yom Tov is the place to see everyone you know, the price tag on that experience is just too high. There is no “sale” or “special” that can replace the breathing room you will have set aside to enter Yom Tov relaxed and ready.
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One of Rebbetzin Dahlya Goldfeiz strategies to avoid feeling overwhelmed and stressed by the pre-Yom Tov rush is to use her freezer: “I like to buy my fresh chicken and meat in advance and prepare one or two a week for about six weeks leading up to the Yom Tov. I clean the chicken or meat and prepare it in a variety of ways (marinated, stuffed, etc.) and freeze it, uncooked, in foil pans lined with parchment paper in labeled, double ziplock bags. I also make my challah and desserts in advance, because those all freeze well. Having the main dishes, desserts, and challahs already prepared really helps ease the inevitable challenges of the few days preceding Yom Tov.” Rebbetzin Goldfeiz puts her already prepared, frozen main dishes straight from the freezer into her oven and simply adds extra cooking time to make sure they get cooked through. If you have limited freezer space, it might be worth investing in a small stand-alone freezer to help streamline your Yom Tov preparations.
It’s important to keep in mind that your Yom Tov meals don’t have to be super-fancy. You do not need tri-color gefilte fish or spare ribs. Preparing regular gefilte fish and a delicious yet simple roast, will still make everyone happy. Mrs. Bracha Goetz expressed this sentiment beautifully: “I spend as little time with physical preparations as possible, in terms of cooking, baking, and buying new clothes. I love things to be done simply, and, thank G-d, my husband and children go along with that derech cheerfully. It frees up more time and energy to focus on the spiritual aspects of preparing for the Yomim Tovim – the inner work and the learning – that ultimately bring the deepest and most lasting kind of pleasure.”
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The Yom Tov season is a time for both family and community, and sharing it with others enhances the simcha. Unfortunately, it happens far too often that you want to share the joy of Yom Tov with other families but invite them too late so that they are no longer available. By the time you find out that your potential guests can’t join you, it’s too late to invite anyone else. If we issued our invitations in advance, we could look forward to our meals knowing that a close friend or a new family will be joining us. Waiting until it’s too late wastes an opportunity to connect, to laugh and be inspired together. And imagine how special your guests will feel that you thought about them so far in advance because their company is so important to you. Your invitation has the power to lift the spirits of old friends and new ones alike.
Mrs. Chaya Sara Cohn explains how she prepares for her guests: “I leave as little as possible for the last minute. There will still be plenty to do right before Yom Tov, but at least getting some things done cuts down on the stress for family members. I want to prepare in a way that I can go into Yom Tov with shalom in my home.” Mrs. Cohn says that she takes the time to check that enough toys and games are easily accessible to keep her younger guests happy and that general clutter is removed so that they can all enjoy the visit. She makes sure that enough folding chairs are brought into the dining room and the guest beds are made far in advance, and that she has extra baby items, like diapers, in case her guests run out of something during their visit.
Lastly, you can plan your Chol Hamoed in advance, as well. It is so sad when, year after year, people lose the chance to spend quality family time because they didn’t decide what to do beforehand. So many families wait until the first day of Chol Hamoed to start figuring out where to go. They then spend the whole morning researching, only to finally choose something that would have been perfect had they left two hours before. There is no reason why you can’t make a list of ideas this week. In general, it’s good to have both indoor and outdoor activities planned so that you are set regardless of the weather.
Perhaps this year we won’t have to cue the ominous music after all. The solution is actually quite simple: The more you do now, the less you will have to do later. With a little bit of planning and effort, we can all enter the Yom Tov season with a light heart and experience the inner feeling of true simcha.
Debbie Glazer lives is Pikesville with her husband and seven children and teaches Language Arts in Bnos Yisroel High School. She can often be found either writing or reading and loves to share her passion for the written word with others.
