With our community’s children home from school, and much of our normal schedule disturbed, we are all trying to deal with a new and unfamiliar reality. It is now up to parents to structure the day and provide for davening, learning, education, exercise, and leisure time. Very important as well, however, is the need to maintain a calm atmosphere and give children rational explanations, according to their ages and their reactions to stressful and changing situations.
The current situation has of course triggered anxiety in both adults and children. The suggestions that follow can be helpful. If, however, you feel that your anxiety is affecting your ability to function, it would be best to seek the services of a professional.
Whenever talking with children, remaining as calm and positive as possible will decrease stress and avoid a tense atmosphere. For children of all ages, make certain to provide accurate information from reliable sources. Children say that they find local news that they do not understand to be more frightening than scary fairy tales or even horror videos. Because of this, make sure to ask them if they have questions or concerns about the situation. Work hard to clarify their understanding.
Even young children can calmly understand illnesses. Let them know at an appropriate developmental level how COVID-19 can be passed on to others, that most people do not become very sick, and that health professionals will be working hard to take care of the very ill in isolated settings. Of course, let the children know how they can protect themselves and others. Guidelines and rules for social distance and hygiene and consulting with health care professionals should be followed.
Resources for current information are available at the Centers for Disease Control (CDC); the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services; state, regional, and local offices of public health; and your child’s health care providers, who are being informed by their professional organizations and the government. In addition please visit jcovid.com, a new Baltimore Jewish community website dedicated to the issues involving the Corona virus, which has many helpful resources and information. (Links are in the accompanying sidebar.)
Here are some ideas to reduce anxiety:
- Engage in reasonable distractions and have your children do the same. Consider taking in doses of news rather than checking it constantly. Limiting exposure to media can be helpful. (Suggested by Dr. Robert Leahy, an expert in cognitive therapy.)
- Be in touch with your own feelings and concerns. It’s inevitable that our feelings and reactions will be passed on to our children.
- Validate your children’s concerns and provide empathy when communicating with them.
- Breathing and mindfulness exercises can help with feelings of anxiety. Mindfulness fosters staying grounded in the here-and-now and not letting our mind wander into the unknown future.
- Tolerating uncertainty is a fundamental of anxiety treatment. Once you have taken the recommended precautions, let go of the anxiety.
- Reassurance: Often people with anxiety will seek reassurance that everything will be okay. It is fine to provide a small amount of reassurance, but continued reassurance will have an adverse effect.
- Journaling: You may find it helpful to write your feelings and struggles on paper. Including your accomplishments, big and small, can also help.
- Art, music, and humor: Luckily, all these activities can be done at home. As some clever person said, art and music are making something of nothing; humor is making nothing of something. Both can be therapeutic.
- Perfectionism is not helpful. We are all human, and we will make mistakes. At times like these, it is more than normal not to do everything correctly. Keep in mind we are trying to do our best.
To conclude, as frum Yidden, this is a time of reflection, teshuva, tefilah, and strengthening our emunah in our Av Harachaman. Besides the tremendous power that emunah has, there are studies that show how emunah (belief) can decrease symptoms of anxiety.
We hope and pray that the effects of this disease remain minimal and that we take this challenge and grow with it to greater heights. Relief Resources is an organization that provides specialized referrals and support to individuals and families dealing with mental health challenges. During this time of uncertainty, change in regular schedules, and potential isolation due to the coronavirus, many of us may be struggling with feelings of increased anxiety and stress. If you feel that your anxiety is affecting your ability to properly function, it would be advisable to seek the services of a trained therapist in the treatment of anxiety. Options of remote therapy via phone or internet are possible at this time. Relief is here and ready to help you learn about options, available resources, and support to help you deal with the current reality. To reach us, please call our confidential line at 410-448-8356 or yslansky@reliefhelp.org
This article is based on information from Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, NYU Langone Health, and with appreciation to Yated Ne’eman.
Sidebar
Parental Resources
- Cornavirus Relief Parental guide: www.reliefhelp.org/guideforparents2020
- Dr. David Pelcovitz Relief Teleconference playback 425-436-6309 access #104411
- www.nasponline.org/resources-and-publications/resources-and-podcasts/school-climate-safety-and-crisis/health-crisis-resources/talking-to-children-about-covid-19-(coronavirus)-a-parent-resource
- www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/consumer-health/in-depth/mindfulness-exercises/art-20046356
- www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/little-house-calls/202003/parenting-during-covid-19
- fragilex.org/blog/covid-19-my-child-is-home-from-school-or-work-or-a-day-program-what-do-i-do/
Sources of information on COVID-19
- Baltimore Jewish Community Covid-19 website www.Jcovid.com
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention
- Center for Disease Control and Prevention - Workplace, School and Home Guidance
- Center for Disease Control and Prevention - Community Mitigation Strategy
- U.S. Department of Health and Human Services
Talking to Kids about COVID-19
- Educational Webinar from the Child Study Center at NYU Langone Health: Everyone is Anxious! Talking with Children about Novel Coronavirus
- Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration:
- National Association of School Psychologists:
- Centers for Disease Control and Prevention: Talking with children about Coronavirus Disease
- National Child Traumatic Stress Network
- Unicef: How teachers can talk to children about coronavirus disease (COVID-19)
With much appreciation to Department of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry, NYU Langone Health for providing us with most of this information.
