There it is – the monster that lives in all of our shadows, the scaled dragon lurking behind us with its bated breath of negativity. It is the parallel universe, the one where we didn’t make the mistakes and the decisions that we did. You know – that world – where, instead of going right, you went left. And sometimes you wonder…you wonder what your life would have been like had you not said or done that.
You see, human beings are made up of contradictions. We are reflexively more comfortable with what we can see, and yet we still believe that there is a hidden, parallel universe where we might be happier, smarter, stronger, or fitter. We put our faith in that parallel universe, and in return, we get to believe that our life as we know it did not necessarily have to come out this way.
But think about it. What benefit does belief in that parallel universe really give you? The ability to bully yourself? To make you dwell on the past, the same past that helped you become who you are today and who you will be tomorrow? Does it give you the ability to analyze and reanalyze every situation inside and out so that you come out with two new best friends: regret and self-loathing? Call me crazy, but those kinds of friends don’t sound very helpful to me.
Here is the funny thing: When disappointing events happen in life, we think that something went wrong. Sure, we know, theoretically, that life isn’t perfect – that there are ups and downs. But when the downs actually occur, we think there must have been some mistake that changed the course of events that were supposed to occur. You were supposed to get the highest grade in the class or get married at twenty or get that job promotion. But you think that you made certain decisions that somehow altered the event that was supposed to happen.
The truth is, the outcome that you wanted, the one you thought was written in some parallel universe – was never meant to happen. If it were, then it would have occurred. Sure, we all have free will. But I once had a teacher who told me that whatever decision we make is the right one. And if you ask me, those decisions got you here – here, where you were meant to be.
No, there is no parallel universe where you would have been happier than you are now. The only thing that was ever meant to happen is now. Now, in Coffee Bean or Starbucks or Goldberg’s or wherever it is that you like to contemplate life in between meals – thinking about the past few years; thinking about who you were at the beginnings – the beginning of school, dating, or moving to a new place.
If we’re lucky, we will recognize that moment – the moment when we realize that every decision we made as we were going along, even the ones we didn’t put much thought into but still knew were right, led us to the place we were destined to be. At that moment, we will look backward at the chain of events and see how every tiny decision and occurrence was connected to the one before it. Then, it will all make sense. It’s a moment that we pray to be zocheh (merit) to experience during our lives. It’s a moment that we’ll only recognize if we’re watching for it. Then, when we are going through that difficult, confusing time, we will know that it is a part of the chain that leads to that awe-inspiring minute. Because that moment is the only one that isn’t trapped in time. Minutes end. Seconds pass. And new challenges arise. But that moment when you recognize the chain, it stays with you. It lives on and gives you comfort for the rest of your life. And once you tell others about your chain – your experiences – it spreads the comfort to other people. That moment of recognition becomes an eternal creature, one that fights against the mythical monster that is the parallel universe.
Still, I bet you’re wondering what happens next. Because that is the most beautiful part of all. You get to smile after the battle that you never knew you were strong enough to conquer. And you get to watch the chain of a new chapter begin.
