Tuition is such an overwhelming and emotion-laden topic that it’s hard to know where to begin. So, we might as well start with a statistic – which is that approximately two-thirds of students in Baltimore day schools receive some type of tuition reduction. This authoritative estimate by a few school administrators I spoke with includes reductions from scholarships, faculty discounts, and tuition breaks because of multiple children in the same school.
With scholarship help so widespread, it might seem that tuition would be a manageable part of most families’ finances. The reality, however, is that, even with reduced tuition, many families are paying hefty sums. For example, a family with five children might be paying $35,000 a year in tuition, instead of $50,000. The schools, too, are barely making it. Although day schools cover the bulk of their budgets through tuition, they must bring in substantial funds from other sources, including direct donor contributions, fundraising events and projects, and The Associated’s annual allocation.
The shortfall between income and spending means that both parents and schools are struggling. Enter the tuition committee, that valiant yet unloved arbiter between the two parties. Parents who request a discount must fill out a form (many schools use the same questionnaire), which the tuition committee uses to determine what they can ask that family to pay. It’s an imperfect process, at best. Because how do you sift through the myriad variables? How do you apply objective standards to what are supremely subjective situations? One family is able to juggle, albeit with difficulty, both parents working full time with taking care of household and children. Another family – whether due to physical or psychological factors – can hardly manage its day-to-day responsibilities. One family might have grandparents who can help them with buying a house or babysitting, while another family has no help and remains in an apartment. The factors involved are extremely complex.
That said, this is the current system. And, although parents realize that schools are doing the best they can, and understand the importance of paying for Jewish education, the process of applying for aid can be very painful – not to mention the struggle to meet their obligations once the aid is received. For their part, members of the tuition committee make a sincere attempt to come up with a fair and workable amount for each family, and may be open to parents appealing the decision. Still, like life itself, nothing is “fair” – from our human perspective, anyway. Ultimately, the tuition aid-granting process works on the honor system, where it is up to each person involved to be the judge of his or her own effort, motivation, and honesty.
This article will deal with how parents are coping with tuition. (Names and details are changed to protect privacy.) A follow-up article will discuss efforts and ideas for ways to alleviate this perpetual problem that have been, or will be, undertaken. Here are the stories of just a few Baltimore families, which illustrate the many aspects of life with tuition:
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Chana and Dovid Avigdor have two school-age children and one younger child. Both parents work full time, but Chana just began a new job after being unemployed for several weeks during the summer. When they applied for tuition reduction for their elementary school children, the tuition committee came back with a number which they felt was above their means, and they appealed. “The committee did not seem to take into account the extra days of child care we need when schools are not open,” says Chana. “Our school began a week later than some of the others, and camp schedules favored the earlier start date of the other schools, and closed in the third week of August, leaving us an extra week when we had to pay for child care.”
The Avigdors will face a similar dilemma on all the erev Yom Tov days, when the schools close but Chana has to work. Because she has just begun a new job, she feels she cannot take off the Wednesday before Rosh Hashanah. “It is bad enough that I am taking off for the holiday itself,” she says. This predicament will recur before all the holidays, as well as Chol Hamo’ed days, when children are out of school but parents are working. Although some couples have family members who can babysit for those extra days, many do not. These extra expenses put a greater strain on their budgets.
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Raisal Warner, a mother of three, appreciates the value of a Jewish education and believes in the importance of paying tuition. “I was raised with the philosophy that no expense is more important than tuition – that tuition is on the same priority level as paying for groceries,” says Raisal, who credits her own day school education with opening the world to her.
Raisal’s grandparents were Holocaust survivors who made sure that their children received a Jewish education and happily paid the tuition, even though it was a big struggle. “My grandfather considered himself lucky to be able to pay. Hitler had tried to eradicate all Jewish existence, but he was helping to ensure the survival of the Jewish people by giving his kids a Jewish education. He appreciated the privilege of being able to pay it.”
Raisal owns a 15-year-old, unreliable car. She does not take her family on vacations, and her children do not attend summer camp. A few years ago, while applying for a tuition reduction, she was asked what her income was. Newly divorced, the only income that she knew she could count on was the $250 a month that her ex-husband was paying for child support. When asked how much she felt comfortable paying, she gave that total: $250 a month.
Despite her desire to pay at much as possible, it has been a struggle for Raisal. “Applying for financial aid for tuition reduction is more difficult than applying for any other kind of assistance,” she says, “including temporary cash assistance from the government. The questions asked are embarrassing and feel like an invasion of privacy.” Raisal’s main financial concern at this point in her life is the rent. She works in one school, which two of her kids attend, and is thus able to get a discounted rate. In the second school, which her first-grader is a student, she gets some assistance as well. Raisal has another part-time job and receives food stamps but still cannot cover her rent without assistance.
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Shayna and Avi Redman have jobs that do not provide a steady source of income on the same date each month. They are grateful that the school allows them to pay by check rather than by automatic FACTS payment, so they will not incur extra fees for lack of funds.
Avi, who is the main breadwinner, used to work for the school that their kids currently attend. Shayna works in a preschool and also tutors elementary subjects in the afternoons. Both Avi and Shayna work hard, live a simple life, own older cars, and make do with what they have. “We feel fortunate that our children’s schools have worked with us to make payment arrangements,” says Shayna.
This was not the case when Avi was a student in day school about 25 years ago. When he was ready to go into second grade (in another city), his parents could not afford the tuition, and the school would not allow him to return. With no alternative, his mother began homeschooling him until a rav approached the school on their behalf and told them they had to allow Avi to return to school.
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Leah Venn has a different take: She thinks some people today have set a high standard of living for themselves and consider Jewish education as a “given” that is due them. “People need to realize that tuition is the top priority – over and above any ‘wants’ a family has,” says Leah. “It’s not as though the money is going to a large, wasteful bureaucracy. The teachers are already paid low salaries, and many of the people working to keep the schools running are volunteers.”
Leah and her husband Kobi appreciate all the hardworking members in our community who work to obtain grants from the state and other fundraising efforts to enable the schools to give scholarships. And Leah realizes people are greatly in need of scholarships, which the schools work hard to grant. The Venns get a tuition reduction from one school, where she works about 30 hours a week but not from another one. Kobi works full time and also does various part-time jobs in chinuch-related areas. Mrs. Venn has a side job as well on Sundays and evenings.
The Venns were able to purchase a house with an FHA loan without parental assistance, so mortgage is a priority. They have not yet started a 401k but plan to do so next year. Because their kids are still young, tuitions are cheaper than they will be in the upper grades, and the Venns realize things might become more difficult. Yet, they make it a priority to give tzedaka and pay tuition, and feel that Hashem is surely looking out for them. Every once in a while, they receive a random check that they were not expecting or had forgotten about. “I hope that Hashem will continue to send these unexpected gifts,” says Leah, “as He sees what our priorities are and how we use what we earn now.”
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Devorah and Chaim Fennel get a tuition break from both the schools their children attend. Chaim has a good job with a very decent income, well above the maximum to receive government assistance. They do not use any credit cards and live on what they have. Devorah is a stay-at-home mother without the skills needed to get a job that would pay enough to cover child care expenses. They send their children to summer camp in order to keep them occupied and to make sure they daven and learn during the summer. In addition, the Fennels are slowly paying off medical bills from one family member’s illness and hospitalization.
Devorah understands why the tuition reduction questionnaire is so thorough. “The schools try to make sure there is no money to spare that could be used on tuition, but the numbers don’t tell the whole story of what is going on in a household. There may be other special expenses.” While Leah feels it is proper for the schools to ask that most of a family’s tzedaka money go to their institutions, she is torn by this request. “Several years ago, we received assistance from other chesed agencies, like Bikur Cholim, and we would like to express our gratitude by donating to these organizations as well,” she explains.
Interestingly, the Fennels, like Raisal, have a family history of paying full tuition. Chaim’s parents never asked for assistance when they paid for their children’s tuitions, and still owe a yeshiva over $100,000 for his brother’s education. His parents live off their credit cards and have no foreseeable way to finish paying this bill.
Chaim and Devorah have made lifestyle changes to reduce their standard of living. Unfortunately, they had to cut back on their JCC membership. Devorah has some health issues and used to swim in the JCC pool. Since their membership expired last May, her health has suffered, but she doesn’t feel they are able to afford a membership even at a reduced cost.
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Abby and Eliezer Pepper have lived in Baltimore for the past 13 years. Never in their wildest dreams have they imagined being able to pay full tuition for their seven children, even though both parents work. With their youngest child now in sixth grade and a newly engaged daughter, the Peppers, who are approaching 50, have no retirement funds and no savings. Fortunately, they were able to buy a house at a very reasonable price when they first moved here. They will need to use their entire income tax refund to pay for the upcoming wedding and borrow the rest. “We are constantly ‘robbing Peter to pay Paul,’” says Abby. “One month the electric bill is not paid; the next month it may be car insurance. It is a constant struggle.”
For Abby, filling out the tuition reduction applications is a very time consuming and emotional process. Not only is she distressed that her whole financial situation is presented to be scrutinized by a committee, but it is difficult to look at it herself! “There’s ‘knowing’ and there’s ‘really knowing,’” she says, “when you have to come face-to-face with the glaring truth of your financial situation.”
Abby works about 30 hours a week. If she even had the physical energy to work more hours, she would not come out ahead, as any extra income would be eaten up by the extra costs it would entail. She also points out that it can be very difficult when both parents have to work regular business hours. “There’s carpool, which may interfere with a work schedule, and one parent has to be there on non-school days or when a child is sick.” Unless they both have very high paying professions, this places limits on the type of job at least one of the parents can take – a Catch-22 situation.
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Ahuva and Ben Richman pay full tuition for three children. Ben works full time and Ahuva works nearly full time. Although both have well paying jobs, they live a very simple lifestyle, with no vacations, and their house could use some work. If they applied for a tuition reduction, they would most likely receive it, says Ahuva, but they prefer to work very hard to meet their obligations, out of principle.
The Richmans don’t know how much longer they will be able to pay full tuition, as they will have more children in school in the future, which might prove too difficult. But Ahuva feels that many people have an attitude to try and pay as little as possible, when it should be the opposite. One acquaintance was shocked that they paid the “sticker price,” assuming that it was just an asking price and not something that was actually expected.
“We look at tuition as a bill that needs to be paid,” says Ahuva. “Tuition should be the top priority.” Ahuva thinks of everything in terms of tuition. She would love to renovate her kitchen but looks at the $10,000 it would cost as “one year’s tuition.” Both the Richmans’ parents paid full tuition when their children were in school, and although the amounts were about half the price they are now, it was not cheap then either.
What bothers Ahuva most is that people look at her like she’s crazy. “They ask me, ‘Why should you work so hard when you could work less and get a reduction? What’s wrong with you? You are being so stupid! If you quit your job you would not have less money, because all your money is going towards tuition.’” But Ahuva feels that families need to do what they believe is right for them, and others should respect their decision not to apply for a reduction.
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The above scenarios are just a snapshot of some of the difficulties families face when fulfilling the commandment of giving children a Jewish education. In the next installment, we hope to present an update on suggestions and solutions being offered and efforts being explored to secure more government and/or community funding.
