Nu, asked a friend, you have written about some interesting topics. How about writing about happiness?
What makes a person happy varies from one person to another. There are volumes written about the topic, but it is interesting to look in our “own backyard,” so to speak. With that in mind, whom do you ask what makes them happy? Friends and mishpacha (family) – who else? If you ask the “man in the street,” his response might be “to have you stop asking questions!”
Since the idea of writing about happiness began early in the morning, I went to shul and asked Reb Arnold Shear, another early morning shul goer about happiness. Incidentally, Arnold and I attend the fabulous shiur presented by my son-in-law Shlomo Horwitz. (No ad intended.)
Arnold’s response was to the point: “Happiness,” said he, “is when I awaken with energy ready for the day, beginning with prayers and learning.” Later, he supplemented his definition with one word: “Shabbos.”
Next I asked our outstanding rav, Rabbi Binyamin Marwick, about happiness, and his response was this: “While many things make us happy in the moment, when I think of true happiness that lasts and endures, I think of feelings of accomplishment, achievements based on hard work and effort, as well as a feeling of belonging or connection to Hashem, family, and friends.”
Paul Schuster, a chashuve minyannaire, responded, “The company of my wife Chanie is what truly makes me happy.”
Rick Bernard, another chashuve shul minyannaire, responded, “Seeing our children having a good time together: talking, sharing, and laughing together. That makes me very happy.”
I emailed the same question to my ainiklach (grandchildren), and their response was as follows:
Moti: “Taking a trip to Israel and visiting family. That would make me happy.”
Effie: “My idea of happiness is having a sense of security, the feeling that there are people who care, as well as a sense of accomplishment and purpose.”
Rochel Devora: “True happiness stems from gratitude. One should make every effort to focus on the positive things in his/her life. Focus on being grateful about even the little things in life.
Bennett (RD’s husband): “Assisting in other people’s successes. Working hard at something and being able to achieve it. The effort can make you happy even if the end goal is not what others consider success.”
Zachary: “I find that seeking happiness is best ignored; whenever I try to feel happy, I find it difficult to accomplish, but I usually find myself happy just going about my life. Major exceptions include spending time with family and medium rare steak, both of which tend to make me happy.”
Nikki: “Spending time with people I love, which would, most importantly, be my family. Spending time with real, true friends. A good hot dog and an ice-cold Coke on a hot day. Driving around and blasting music. Being with the kids from the orphanage. Genuine laughter from people I love.”
Ryan Ephraim: “Spending time with my family. Learning something new. Playing guitar.”
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While searching for additional definitions of happiness, I found an anonymous essay written in the form of the Ten Commandments (lehavdil):
“Ten Commandments for Happiness”
- Thou shalt cultivate a sense of humor.
- Thou shalt not despise the body but develop it for strength and beauty. Eat wholesome food, exercise regularly, and take plenty of sleep.
- Though shalt have a dominating, worthwhile purpose in thy life, and allow nothing to turn thee from its fulfillment.
- Thou shalt look upon thy job as the most important thing in thy world and strive ever to do it perfectly.
- Thou shalt be thyself. Never seek to imitate another.
- Thou shalt live within thy means, thine own desires, thy neighbors’ appearances and high-pressure salesmen notwithstanding.
- Thou shalt not worry; neither shall thou be nervous or fearful of the future, for worry is the death of happiness.
- Thou shalt do well to be acquainted with nature, for many have thereby discovered beauty, melody, and fragrance in life.
- Thou shalt take care never to seek for happiness, for it is one thing which seeking thou canst not find.
- Thou shalt, above all, strive ever to contribute to the happiness of others. For in so doing thou shalt discover happiness in thine own mind.
So there you have it, dear readers, the meaning of happiness from “elders” to youngsters.
Now, the kasheh (question) is: What makes you happy?
