There are moments in many of our lives when the unfathomable happens, and the first reaction is “Not me, not my family; this can’t be happening to us!”
At first, you walk
around in an uncomprehending state of disbelief, shock, and utter dismay. After
a while, when you realize that it’s not a bad dream or a temporary lapse of
sanity but is really happening, you discover that you’ve got to accept it and
deal.
Life is wonderful
– we have so much to be grateful for – and then, bam, we get a blow that sends
us reeling. It could be the sudden death of a loved one, a serious illness, a
child who goes off the derech, a
seemingly beautiful young couple who become incompatible and decide to get a
divorce (often with young children in the crossfire), a family member who
becomes unstable – and, sometimes, more often that not, a combination of these
incomprehensible situations.
What does one do? How
does one react? How does one carry on? How do we find answers to the seemingly
unanswerable question: Why me?
After a while, we
realize that so many others have been down that path. We are an am keshei oref, a stiff-necked nation.
The Jewish people as a whole are a stubborn group. We don’t give in, and we
don’t give up. When one door closes, we find another. We pick ourselves up,
dust ourselves off, and carry on. We find ways to help our loved ones who are
in pain. We seek guidance from our Rav and a few others whom we can trust. We
put smiles on our faces and move forward.
There are days,
especially in the beginning, when this seems like an insurmountable task, but
with each passing day, Hakodosh Baruch Hu gives us the strength to do what we
need to do. We get more adept at juggling, managing the loose ends, filling in
the missing pieces.
For some of us,
the tasks – the pain – seem never ending. We can’t imagine that there will be a
light at the end of the tunnel. But we must believe, without doubt, that Hashem
only gives us what we can handle and that every makka (blow), every potch,
comes with a refuah (remedy). It’s
here, even when we don’t see it.
We are living in
crazy times, and so many are suffering in so many ways. Rosh Hashanah is at our
doorstep. Now more than ever is the time to remember…“Teshuva, tefila, tzedaka remove the evil of the gezeira (decree).”
When the other
shoe drops, we cannot fall; we must carry on. We have no choice, and with
Hashem’s help, we can make it through. For our families who are suffering, for our
community and our nation, let us all daven
for a kesiva vechasima tova. And at
the same time, we must try to be kind, to be caring and reach out to those
around us. Hashem measures His kindness to us by our kindness to others.
Just recently I
heard a beautiful vort: Picture the
letters yud, hay, vov, and hay. The yud is like a small coin; the hay is the open hand giving it; the vov is the connector, and the final hay is the hand receiving the coin. When
we are kind and caring, Hashem is with us. He is our partner and is there to
help us, in turn.
Daven, be a giver, and try to be a better
person, and you will become the receiver of the greatest gift of all, Hashem’s
love.
