A prayer offered without kavanah (intent) is like a body without a soul.

When the rabbis taught us that lesson, they were encouraging us that, when we recite our personal and public prayers, rather than merely reciting the words, we should garb them with our own personal meanings and thoughts. Just as our clothing choices help us stand apart, so do our contemplation and intent transform even standardized prayers into deeply personal, unique offerings.

About 17 years ago, we prepared to bid farewell to our eldest son, Avi, as he departed for his post-high school year in Israel. Little did we know that this gap year would turn into a life in the Holy Land. I have to confess that I was warned: “You spent three years in Israel after high school,” he cleverly argued, “so I get at least three years!”

Negotiations were unnecessary. My wife and I were happy to let him stay as long as he liked, and we’re even more elated that he and his family have made their lives here. 

These were the days before phones had decent cameras, so as the date of his departure drew closer, I asked a photographer friend to come to the house and take a family photo shoot. 

With a wry smile on his face, Avi said, “I get it. We’re doing this so you’ll have pictures of me, in case anything happens.” 

I was shocked. I don’t think that morbid idea was even in the back of my mind, let alone anywhere near my frontal lobe.

Off he went to Israel, followed a couple of years later by his baby brother, Arky. Both of them, as I like to put it, “forgot” to come back to the USA. Both spent a number of years in yeshiva and then did their service in the IDF. 

Countless family photos have been taken since then, and, thank G-d, the number of people in the photos has increased, as wonderful wives and adorable children have quite literally entered the picture. 

We usually do a lot of hiking on Chol Hamoed. My darling wife Chana is an avid fitness enthusiast, while I try to play the good husband and tag along and try to enjoy myself (or at least pretend to enjoy myself) as much as possible. Well, I guess my acting isn’t as good as I thought, and after several years of this itinerary, she told me that I needn’t shlep along anymore, and we could find other activities to enjoy together.