Dear Shlomo, 

I’m concerned about my husband. His depression and anxiety are having a profoundly negative effect on me and on the rest of the family. I want him to go to therapy, but he is not interested. Can therapy help someone who does not want to change?

Concerned

A Scary World

A lot has happened recently to change people’s perception of guns. Here are a few recent concerns:

Covid: COVID threatened to destabilize much of civilization. People feared major food shortages and violence. As a result, there was an instant rush on guns and ammunition. The rush was so significant that almost no ammunition was commercially available for over a year ?(1). Though civil unrest and shortages were limited, this significant event touched us all.

Active Shooters: Active shooter incidents are traumatic and highly publicized events. But, in fact, they are very rare. There are approximately one hundred deaths per year ?(2). This is only about one fifth the number of people be killed by accidental handgun incidents ?(3). Thus a person is five times more likely to be killed from a gun mishap than from an active shooter.

Dear Readers,

I am on a brief hiatus. The following article was published three years ago in my early days as a WWW regular. I believe that the thoughts expressed are still timely and relevant. I look forward to a fresh article in the next edition. May we hear better news from Eretz Yisrael very soon, iy”H. Please keep all of the hostages in your davening – especially Doniel Shimon Ben Sharon and Mayan Ben Anat.

Ivan Lerner

Now that the temperature has finally dropped, we hurry from our homes to our cars to our homes, and we have enough hot cocoa powder to satisfy everyone’s early morning needs. During these winter months, mothers everywhere shudder at the sight of children playing outside on chilly afternoons without their jackets. The sound of laughter and the crunching of dry leaves are knit together with the distinct call, “Go put on a jacket! I’m cold just looking at you!”

For thousands of years, people have erroneously thought that being cold caused one to catch a cold. The true culprit, however, was finally apprehended in the late 1700s by Benjamin Franklin, who, in addition to being a Founding Father, diplomat, and inventor, was a member of the Royal Medical Society of Paris and a few U.S. medical societies. Through his own observation and analysis, he understood that respiratory diseases came from other people and not from spending time in the crisp air without a coat. Franklin recommended that everyone breathe some fresh air each day, and he personally lived a long, fulfilling life taking his own “medicine.

When there are wars in Israel, they arouse fierce emotions. To the extent that they involve us personally, they make us ask ourselves who we are and what is important to us. Here is a “war story” from my own past.

A friend of mine, a pulpit rabbi in a large city in the United States, was approached by parents from his congregation when the 1990 Gulf War broke out. Israel was being bombed by Saddam Hussein of Iraq. The couple had a son in his “gap year” learning in a Jerusalem yeshiva, and they were concerned. They asked the rabbi if they could bring their son home. He answered, “You can do it, but realize that if you bring the boy home, he will remember for the rest of his life that you pulled him out of Jewish history.” This gave them new focus, and they let their son stay.

Seeking to use some expiring travel credits, I booked a quick visit to El Salvador last month. With $160 roundtrip non-stop fares from Washington Dulles, easy and cheap local connectivity using Uber, and an impressive Jewish community, this seemed like a no-brainer.

There must be a catch, I thought. Why was it so cheap? Was El Salvador dangerous? Initial research showed that El Salvador was in fact – but is no longer – among the most dangerous countries in Latin America. In a complete recent turnaround, it is now considered among the safest! Having visited much of Central America years earlier but avoiding El Salvador due to safety, I was excited to finally add this country to my list. With the goal of minimizing time away from the family – and missing no more than two morning drives to TA – I planned for a very short visit.

“Tu b’Shvat higi’ah, chag ha’ilanot….” So go the lyrics of the famous children’s song. Tu b’Shvat, the delightful new year of the trees, is when we eat the sheva minim, the special fruits of the Eretz Yisrael. They are wheat, barley, grapes, figs, pomegranates, olives, and dates, which are mentioned in the pasuk (verse) in the order of their ripening.

Besides being delicious, each of the seven species was associated by the mekubalim (kabbalists) with the one of the seven sefiros. Wheat corresponds to chesed (kindness), barley to gevurah (strength), grapes to tiferes (harmony), figs to netzach (perseverance), pomegranates to hod (humility), olives to yesod (foundation), and dates to malchus (royalty). The kabbalists ate these foods in 16^th century Tzfas at a Tu b’Shvat seder, a custom that has had a revival in our time.

When I meet youngsters heading off to school in Israel, I give them a bracha: “May you be hungry and lost and in desperate need of an invite, and may this suffering last for a full five minutes, and may someone then come along and invite you.” During those precious minutes, this young person will learn a valuable lesson. He or she will learn what it feels like to be in need, something that those born with a silver spoon in their mouth might not be aware of. Those few minutes can lead them to an amazing resolve in life.

I want to propose a new chesed program. Baltimore is known as a city with a multitude of chesed organizations, yet there is one profound mitzvah that is being overlooked in our community. Especially now, when we are going through the current war in Israel, we are all aware that chesed and Jewish unity will carry the day.

After 66 years of living in Baltimore – after 29 consecutive years of serving on community boards and watching the tremendous growth and changes – it is time to say good-bye and thank you. Adriane and I are making aliyah. There is so much to be happy for, yet much to ponder.

As we progress through life, we accumulate many documents – forms, credit card statements, records, reports, legal agreements, authorizations, and more. What do you do with all the papers you receive? Knowing what to do with these papers is essential for maintaining an organized and secure financial life. Some documents should be stored forever in a safe place, with a copy in a different location. Some documents should be kept for a short time, others can be thrown away, and others should be shredded. Here are some practical guidelines tailored for individuals over 50 – but applicable at any age – to help you manage your records effectively.