After dinner last week, my wife Arleeta suggested that we have a cup of tea. Out came the tea chest filled with every imaginable tea choice. I’m not a tea connoisseur; for me traditional black (orange pekoe) tea is almost always my choice. As I removed the tea bag from my cup, I had a flashback to my grandparents’ table. When I was a child, it was unheard of to use a tea bag only once! My grandma would always give my grandpa the first cup, then she used the tea bag for her cup, then the third cup went to the next-oldest uncle or aunt – and if you were next in line, you got the fourth cup. In my own home, my mom only stretched three cups out of one bag! In those days, tea meant two choices: Lipton or Swee-Touch-Nee.

It was about a half-hour into a marriage mediation session when the challenge became very apparent to me. In all areas of life – for both husband and wife – it was all or nothing. There was considerable need for a vacation, but only a fully planned vacation would do. There was need for increased communication, but only a full-fledged DMC (Deep Meaningful Conversation) would be sufficient.

I asked their permission to introduce a new model by which to judge their marriage, a model I like to call “coloring in the picture.” You see, sometimes things might be progressing in a good direction, but we won’t notice that if we are judging things as black-and-white, pass-or-fail, all-or-nothing.

One of the most difficult aspects of daily life in the winter is the darkness that quickly overwhelms. It seems like before we turn around, the sun is setting and we are driving home from work or school in the dark! Halfway through Shabbos dinner, we feel like it’s almost midnight, but the clock insists it’s only 7:15! During the winter months, people tend to lack energy and motivation, and fail to work on their long-term goals, “saving their strength” to just make it through the day, short as it is. And the night seems to paralyze us as we struggle to take shelter from the shadows.

As many of our brethren in chutz la’aretz (outside Eretz Yisrael) are aware, we in Israel are currently in the middle of a shmitah year, the once-in-seven-years time when we are commanded to allow the Land to rest. Hearing the word “shmitah,” many immediately think about the farmers. They are the true heroes of this incredible mitzvah, of course. They are the ones who put their livelihood on hold for close to two years! That is because, even after shmitah is over, it takes a very long time to get the farm back in working condition. The land was neglected for a year, and needs to be put back in order. Idled machinery requires service. Many employees have taken jobs elsewhere during shmitah, so a new team must be hired. Some customers have gotten new suppliers, so the farmers may need to find new sales outlets, and negotiate new contracts. And of course, there is the wait for the new crops to be planted and harvested. For the farmers, there are so many details to put together before, during, and after shmitah.

Yet farmers are not the only ones who are affected by shmitah. Seven years ago, in these same pages, I wrote an article interviewing housewives about their shmitah experiences. This time I would like to share with you my interviews with a few local caterers about how shmitah is affecting their businesses.

Autism, the mysterious neurological disorder that was first described in 1943 and once considered very rare, now affects one in 34 boys (2.97 percent) and one in 145 girls (0.69 percent). Are there really more children with autism, or are we just looking for it harder? Most likely, the increase is due to the expansion of the diagnostic criteria, in the 1990s, to reflect the concept that autism is a spectrum of impairments, called Autism Spectrum Disorder, or ASD.

Autism is not an illness or disease. Rather, it is a neurodevelopmental condition that can be recognized by age two or three and lasts a lifetime. There is a wide range of symptoms, some of which may seem contradictory. For instance, some people on the spectrum have a strong aversion to social situations, while others are incredibly outgoing and want to make friends. Some people might struggle to be empathetic, while others are overly sensitive to others’ emotions. Moreover, the learning, thinking, and problem-solving abilities of people with ASD can range from the gifted to the severely challenged. People with autism can be high functioning to low functioning. Some may hold a job and go about their days with little problem, and others struggle with basic skills.

Pirkei Avos tells us that we should show respect for every person for “each one has his hour.” Sometimes, major events of history turn on the actions of seemingly insignificant individuals. If this is true in general, it is certainly true in the saga of the recognition of the new State of Israel by President Harry S Truman in 1948.  But to understand this very interesting chain of events, let us go back to the administration of the president who preceded Truman.

There was once a saying that American Jews believed in three worlds: “Di velt, yenner velt, and Roosevelt – this world, the next world, and Roosevelt.” The overwhelming majority of Jews voted for and loved Franklin D. Roosevelt. Years after the war, blame for not rescuing more Jews from Hitler’s clutches was laid at FDR’s feet. He could have done more, but he didn’t. Roosevelt regularly advised Jewish leaders to be patient, to put their demands on hold. He said that the best way to help Europe’s Jews was to win the war.

I was curious about Israel’s relationship with China. All I knew was that China always voted against Israel in the U.N. I was directed to an organization called SIGNAL (Sino-Israel Global Network and Global Leadership) and its founder and executive director, Carice Witte. I asked her if she would grant me an interview, and she kindly invited me to the organization’s headquarters.

When I arrived at the address on Jabotinsky Street, I looked up at the two sleek, 14-story buildings of the Twin Towers complex, covered with reflective glass windows, located in Ramat Gan’s Diamond District. As I entered Carice’s office, I felt as if I had been transported to the Far East. It was meticulously furnished in the Chinese style.

Now I was sitting in front of Carice Witte, a most remarkable person. How many of us have dreams and passions that we have actualized no matter how long the wait and the delays that life throws at us? How many people get satisfaction from their passions in that they know they are used in the service of their people? Carice Witte is one of those people. In the following interview, I got to find out about her and learn a bit about her great knowledge of China. Here are segments of the interview.

As Torah-observant Jews, we try to live up to the Halachos of lashon hara, which guide us in what is appropriate speech, especially in regards to derogatory information. However, there are numerous situations where Halacha defines what we may or may not say, even if no derogatory information is exchanged. This can especially be relevant in business.

In a previous article, we explored the Halachos of lashon hara as relating to business situations. This article will explore speech where lashon hara is not an issue. Let’s consider the following case study:

The long Friday nights in the middle of the winter are a great time for a long, leisurely meal – or a quick meal followed by some special snacks. If you’ve been reading this column regularly, you know that I like bars – taco bar, burrito bar, whatever…. That way, everyone gets to choose what they want. It’s fun to try different flavors with our family and guests. My kids love to pile on the “sides” they want, and picky eaters have lots of options. They might even try new things if other people are trying them. Stranger things have happened! 

Read More:Mid-Winter Recipes