Most readers of the WWW keep Shabbos and have learned from their youth that Shabbos is a special day, when we look forward to eating special foods, inviting guests, and learning the parsha. As parents, we try to make our children look forward to Shabbos, too. But enjoying Shabbos is not always easy, especially these days, when we are connected to electronics the whole week and are used to being distracted. What can families do to make Shabbos special?

Advice from a Rebbetzin

Miriam, a rebbetzin, told me that she sometimes gets phone calls from people whose children are struggling with Judaism. Miriam said, “The first thing I ask them is if they make their Shabbos table fun. Each family is different, and what is fun for one family may not be fun for another one. It takes thought and effort to find out what your family enjoys and to plan that activity. When my children were young, we had a special spot where we all hung out together on Friday nights. It was cozy and warm, and everyone read their own book. For us, that was fun, and my children looked forward to our weekly get-together.

“A teenage boy I know once told his mother that he hates erev Shabbos because it was full of screaming,” Miriam adds. “When the mother heard that she tried to make Friday afternoons more pleasant. Especially when it comes to Yiddishkeit, it is important to make your children’s memories positive. Then they will grow up and do the same for their families.”

I don’t have much experience with going to camp, and whatever experience I have is from a very long time ago. My parents sent me to an overnight camp when I was nine years old in hopes I would learn not to be shy. At least, that is what my parents told me when I asked them why they sent me at such a young age. I don’t remember much about camp, but I don’t think I liked it very much.

To learn more about camps, I had to ask others who had more positive experiences. It was a privilege to speak to my sister’s husband, Rabbi Yitzchok Schwarz, who has been the head counselor of Camp Kol Torah in Cleveland for almost 50 years – ever since before he and my sister were married. Their children are born and bred campers. I asked Rabbi Schwarz how campers have changed over the years. “When I was a camper, I used to come to an activity 10 minutes early in anticipation,” says Rabbi Schwarz. “Today, the boys are much more distracted. Many of them have devices to listen to music and lots and lots of nosh. The boys are not so eager for activities because they have other interests.” It seems that kids in camp have changed just like the rest of society.

Inspired by their Rosh Hashanah resolutions, many people are in the mode of doing more mitzvos. Not everyone can take on the running of a big organization or do big chasadim that take time and money. Here is a mitzva that everyone can do, young or old, rich or poor, Jewish or not Jewish.

The mitzva is kindness. Kindness is available to everyone and can be done at any time and to anyone, even a stranger or an animal. You just must be aware of what is going on around you. In some ways, it might even be a bigger kindness to do something that seems small than to do something that seems great. Everyone who is capable of it would save a person from drowning, even if they have terrible middos, but only a kind person will give tzedaka to a man who approaches him in the middle of the street. As we know from the Torah, Hashem chose Moshe to be the leader of the Jewish people because he took good care of a little lamb.

This week, I went to visit my father, who resides with my brother in Passaic. My son from Lakewood called and asked if his son Yosef could come to see me while I was there. Always happy to see a grandchild, I said sure, although I wondered how Yosef would get to Passaic. I was so surprised when the door opened and the whole family popped in. The surprise visit made me smile and gave me an idea for this article. 

Surprises happen to everyone – sometimes deliberate and sometimes spontaneous, sometimes welcomed and sometimes not.

Every reader of the WWW has something to say about school. We have all gone to school and either hated it or loved it. And we send our children to school, where they have the same reactions. As is my custom, whenever I write an article, I ask every person I meet for their thoughts. This time, I asked for advice on how to prepare children for a successful year in school. Everyone had something to say – even the grandmother whose children are grown up, who said, “I have no advice, I am just happy to be finished with all that!”

All children have dreams of what they will be when they grow up. Every little boy wants to be a fireman or truck driver, and every little girl wants to be a nurse or morah. But not many people end up working in these jobs. Often the careers that excited us as children do not look so exciting once we are adults.  

My father kept an old framed letter hanging in his office for years and told us the story behind it many times. My grandfather was an antique dealer, and he wanted my father to be a judge. During World War II, my father’s family lived in a small town in England, where my grandfather became good friends with Rabbi Dessler, zt”l.

Rabbi Dessler convinced my grandfather to send my father to Gateshead Yeshiva when he was about 16. After spending time in yeshiva, my father lost his yearning to be a judge. He wrote a letter to his parents explaining his desire to stay in yeshiva and become a rebbe. His mother sent my father’s letter to Rabbi Dessler and asked him what they should do. Should they give up their dream of their son becoming a judge so he could stay in yeshiva? Rabbi Dessler wrote back, encouraging them to allow my father to stay in yeshiva. Here are some lines from the letter: