Page 122 - issue
P. 122
WHY board. You don’t want her to worry!)
WORRY? As we mothers become grandmoth-
Wby P. Samuels
orrying is part and parcel about them, and anxiously wait for ers, and then become great-grandmoth-
of the Jewish mother’s psy- them to call. ers, our worrying quotient increases.
che. We worry about ISIS But when we reach a certain age, our
taking over the world, and The examples are endless, but you children, worriers themselves, conspire
we worry that the sanita- get the picture. A friend whose oldest is to shield us from their trials and tribu-
tion workers will forget to considerably younger than mine once lations. As if it’s going to stop us. We’re
take our recycling. If remarked, as I was preparing for my okay as long as the worries are over
Moshe gets a tooth at the second child’s wedding, “Aren’t you minor issues. As the old saw proclaims,
early age of three months, we worry if lucky. As you marry each one off, you “Better one thousand trivial worries
that tooth will be healthy. If Shloimy have one less to worry about.” I could than, chas v’shalom, one major one.”
has no teeth at eight months, we worry have answered with the classic reply,
once again. that now I have someone else to worry How can we channel the energy cre-
about too. Instead, I decided to bide my ated by our worrying into a positive
Esty is so busy socializing with her time. Now that my friend’s own children force? The answer lies in one word:
many friends, she won’t do well in are married, boy, does she qualify as a tefilla (prayer). The Belzer Rebbe, zt”l,
school. On the other hand, Baila has so super-worrier! refused to daven in a shul that did not
few friends that we worry about her have a women’s section, because he
social standing. We worry that Chaim is The art of worrying has a major said that all the prayers’ success depend
working too hard, putting in overtime place in Jewish folklore and quotes. on the prayers of the mothers and
at his new job, and we worry about We’ve all heard the expression, “Little grandmothers. In a similar vein, the
Yitzchak, who only has a part-time job children, little worries. Bigger children, administration of the Ponovizh yeshiva
and a family to support. bigger worries.” once sought ideas on how to accommo-
date the overflow crowd who came to
Chany didn’t eat anything, I hope The Ibn Ezra wrote a famous three- daven there on Rosh Hashana.
she’s not becoming anorexic. Mashy line admonition: “The past is gone, the Someone suggested that they send the
took two pieces of cake, she’s going to future is not here yet, the present is like younger students up to the gallery,
be obese soon. Yanky and Toby are start- the blink of an eye, so why worry?” effectively eliminating the women’s
ing to look into shidduchim for Leah. place in the yeshiva. The rosh yeshiva,
Isn’t 18 too young? Mendy’s Simcha is Shlomo Hamelech also recognized however, dismissed this idea immedi-
23, why isn’t he a chassan yet? the phenomena of worrying. He ately. “Don’t you know that all of our
advised (Mishlei 12:25): “If man has a tefillos rise up heavenward on the
If Shimmy doesn’t call home from worry in his heart, he should share it backs of the tefillos of the Yiddishe
camp, we worry how he’s managing with another, and thus unburden him- mamas?”
away from home. If he calls home every self.” Sane advice, even in today’s day
day, we wonder if perhaps he’s home- and age. Anyone who ever had a So pick up a siddur, pick up a
sick. Worrying is different from prying favorite sister or friend just listen to her Tehillim, pick up your hands, and
(though they can be closely related). We problems and concerns knows how daven to the One Above. He under-
follow all the rules about leaving newly- therapeutic it is just to talk to someone, stands prayers in any language, and
weds alone, but we can’t help worrying even if after the conversation you’re no ultimately He is going to solve our
closer to a practical solution. (Your problems. Daven for Suri and Yitzy who
mother doesn’t qualify as a listening are married a few years and don’t have
children yet. Daven for your neighbor’s
child who was hit by a car, daven that
Devora finds the teaching job she’s
dreaming about, daven for your family’s
health and general well-being. Just
keep davening, whether in the printed
text or in your own words.
Most important of all, don’t forget to
daven to Hashem that He sends
Mashiach real soon, for once the geula
shleima (final redemption) arrives, all of
our worries will dissipate once and for
all.
May Hashem bless you all with
worry-free nachas.◆
114 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
WORRY? As we mothers become grandmoth-
Wby P. Samuels
orrying is part and parcel about them, and anxiously wait for ers, and then become great-grandmoth-
of the Jewish mother’s psy- them to call. ers, our worrying quotient increases.
che. We worry about ISIS But when we reach a certain age, our
taking over the world, and The examples are endless, but you children, worriers themselves, conspire
we worry that the sanita- get the picture. A friend whose oldest is to shield us from their trials and tribu-
tion workers will forget to considerably younger than mine once lations. As if it’s going to stop us. We’re
take our recycling. If remarked, as I was preparing for my okay as long as the worries are over
Moshe gets a tooth at the second child’s wedding, “Aren’t you minor issues. As the old saw proclaims,
early age of three months, we worry if lucky. As you marry each one off, you “Better one thousand trivial worries
that tooth will be healthy. If Shloimy have one less to worry about.” I could than, chas v’shalom, one major one.”
has no teeth at eight months, we worry have answered with the classic reply,
once again. that now I have someone else to worry How can we channel the energy cre-
about too. Instead, I decided to bide my ated by our worrying into a positive
Esty is so busy socializing with her time. Now that my friend’s own children force? The answer lies in one word:
many friends, she won’t do well in are married, boy, does she qualify as a tefilla (prayer). The Belzer Rebbe, zt”l,
school. On the other hand, Baila has so super-worrier! refused to daven in a shul that did not
few friends that we worry about her have a women’s section, because he
social standing. We worry that Chaim is The art of worrying has a major said that all the prayers’ success depend
working too hard, putting in overtime place in Jewish folklore and quotes. on the prayers of the mothers and
at his new job, and we worry about We’ve all heard the expression, “Little grandmothers. In a similar vein, the
Yitzchak, who only has a part-time job children, little worries. Bigger children, administration of the Ponovizh yeshiva
and a family to support. bigger worries.” once sought ideas on how to accommo-
date the overflow crowd who came to
Chany didn’t eat anything, I hope The Ibn Ezra wrote a famous three- daven there on Rosh Hashana.
she’s not becoming anorexic. Mashy line admonition: “The past is gone, the Someone suggested that they send the
took two pieces of cake, she’s going to future is not here yet, the present is like younger students up to the gallery,
be obese soon. Yanky and Toby are start- the blink of an eye, so why worry?” effectively eliminating the women’s
ing to look into shidduchim for Leah. place in the yeshiva. The rosh yeshiva,
Isn’t 18 too young? Mendy’s Simcha is Shlomo Hamelech also recognized however, dismissed this idea immedi-
23, why isn’t he a chassan yet? the phenomena of worrying. He ately. “Don’t you know that all of our
advised (Mishlei 12:25): “If man has a tefillos rise up heavenward on the
If Shimmy doesn’t call home from worry in his heart, he should share it backs of the tefillos of the Yiddishe
camp, we worry how he’s managing with another, and thus unburden him- mamas?”
away from home. If he calls home every self.” Sane advice, even in today’s day
day, we wonder if perhaps he’s home- and age. Anyone who ever had a So pick up a siddur, pick up a
sick. Worrying is different from prying favorite sister or friend just listen to her Tehillim, pick up your hands, and
(though they can be closely related). We problems and concerns knows how daven to the One Above. He under-
follow all the rules about leaving newly- therapeutic it is just to talk to someone, stands prayers in any language, and
weds alone, but we can’t help worrying even if after the conversation you’re no ultimately He is going to solve our
closer to a practical solution. (Your problems. Daven for Suri and Yitzy who
mother doesn’t qualify as a listening are married a few years and don’t have
children yet. Daven for your neighbor’s
child who was hit by a car, daven that
Devora finds the teaching job she’s
dreaming about, daven for your family’s
health and general well-being. Just
keep davening, whether in the printed
text or in your own words.
Most important of all, don’t forget to
daven to Hashem that He sends
Mashiach real soon, for once the geula
shleima (final redemption) arrives, all of
our worries will dissipate once and for
all.
May Hashem bless you all with
worry-free nachas.◆
114 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
