Page 66 - issue
P. 66
FINDING THE RIGHT WORDS
HOW TO FIELD SHIDDUCH CALLS AND
CONDUCT EFFECTIVE RESEARCH, PART 1
by Shlomo Goldberger above are the locus at which almost label the four most dangerous words
every shidduch either blossoms or with- known to the world of shidduchim: “I
“GDirector, The Shidduch ers. It is at that seemingly innocuous don’t see it.” While almost everyone has
juncture that every shidduch lies in its uttered these words at some time as a
Center of Baltimore most vulnerable and precarious posi- knee-jerk reaction to a shidduch, they
tion, and it is vital that we are all fully remain, innately, both vapid and haz-
ood evening, I’m calling prepared with the tools and knowledge ardous in nature. Although seemingly
regarding a shidduch. Do necessary to handle these situations. insignificant to the one who utters
you have a few minutes to them, in the mind of someone at the
talk?” Much of the guidance to follow in precipice of saying yes or no to a shid-
this three-part series is based on an duch, hearing those words immediately
“My daughter was just outstanding session that Rabbi Tzodek plants a negative seed and has left
redt (suggested to go out Katz gave at a recent Agudah Mid-West countless shidduchim dead in the water
with) to so-and-so, what do you think of Convention, along with some ideas that for no substantive reason whatsoever.
the idea?” I have gleaned from speaking with
“I was just redt to so-and-so, should shadchanim and those involved in the We all surely know of happily mar-
I go out with her?” shidduch parsha. ried couples about whom we would
have laughed at the idea of their ever
The Initial Reaction The first and foremost matter I coexisting had we been asked for our
Once a shidduch is redt – be it by a would like to discuss is what I would
friend, relative, or shadchan – conversa-
tions and quick interactions such as the
58 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
HOW TO FIELD SHIDDUCH CALLS AND
CONDUCT EFFECTIVE RESEARCH, PART 1
by Shlomo Goldberger above are the locus at which almost label the four most dangerous words
every shidduch either blossoms or with- known to the world of shidduchim: “I
“GDirector, The Shidduch ers. It is at that seemingly innocuous don’t see it.” While almost everyone has
juncture that every shidduch lies in its uttered these words at some time as a
Center of Baltimore most vulnerable and precarious posi- knee-jerk reaction to a shidduch, they
tion, and it is vital that we are all fully remain, innately, both vapid and haz-
ood evening, I’m calling prepared with the tools and knowledge ardous in nature. Although seemingly
regarding a shidduch. Do necessary to handle these situations. insignificant to the one who utters
you have a few minutes to them, in the mind of someone at the
talk?” Much of the guidance to follow in precipice of saying yes or no to a shid-
this three-part series is based on an duch, hearing those words immediately
“My daughter was just outstanding session that Rabbi Tzodek plants a negative seed and has left
redt (suggested to go out Katz gave at a recent Agudah Mid-West countless shidduchim dead in the water
with) to so-and-so, what do you think of Convention, along with some ideas that for no substantive reason whatsoever.
the idea?” I have gleaned from speaking with
“I was just redt to so-and-so, should shadchanim and those involved in the We all surely know of happily mar-
I go out with her?” shidduch parsha. ried couples about whom we would
have laughed at the idea of their ever
The Initial Reaction The first and foremost matter I coexisting had we been asked for our
Once a shidduch is redt – be it by a would like to discuss is what I would
friend, relative, or shadchan – conversa-
tions and quick interactions such as the
58 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
