Page 86 - issue
P. 86
I am also surprised that the teach- hol and smoking, it is one thing. But how will she ever find a shidduch? I don’t
er was willing to malign a person she “being fresh” is not a major concern. I have to tell you that these parents care
hasn’t seen in years. I always tell peo- would chalk it up to being a teenager. more for the impression they make on
ple that if you have nothing good to And teenagers grow up. With parents others than for the welfare of their own
say about a person, don’t say anything, to emulate, and mussar and ethics child.
because you never know if you will be learned from rebbeim and other teach-
the one who broke it off even before it ers, this young man certainly changed Let’s get real. Recent references have
started. Could it be that the teacher still and became the staunch individual you told you that he comes from a good fam-
bears a grudge against this young man, write about. ily, is successful, and if a hard worker
and when you inquired about him, saw with good middos. While you never real-
an opportunity to “get him”? I know You ask what would be the cut-off ly know anyone until you live with them,
it is shocking to suggest this, and it is age for taking the information serious- if there are any red flags, your daughter
harsh to suspect anyone of such mean- ly. I would say that for a boy it would will see them after a date or two. Mean-
ness. However, the desire for vengeance be the 12th grade, or 17 to 18 years old, while, it is unwise to keep her from meet-
is a part of human nature and must and for a girl in the 11th grade, 16 to 17 ing him because of who he was at age 15.
therefore be a consideration whenever years old, since girls mature and mar- How was your daughter at age 15? If you
we deal with people. ry earlier than boys. Then again, after asked any of her teachers, you might not
they graduate and go on to yeshiva or get a raving report either.
We also don’t know if he was “chutz- seminary, teens grow and mature fur-
padik” only in her class or with his ther, so an arbitrary cut-off age may To sum up, I don’t think you should
rebbe, parents, and other teachers, not be relevant. look for the person who was perfect from
too. Sometimes teachers who are not birth. I would stop this foolishness and
skilled or not well liked invite chutzpa By the way, I once heard about parents let your daughter go out and see for her-
from the students. So, you see, there who complained to a kindergarten teach- self. If it is not bashert for her to marry
are many questions about this refer- er that their child was not finger painting him, then Hashem will guide her in the
ence, and I would not put much stock properly. How would he get into Yale? right way.
in her opinion. If the teacher had said Yes, there are people like this. A parent
that this boy was on drugs or into alco- once said to me, if I keep my child back Hopefully, you will walk your daugh-
in kindergarten or send her for special ed, ter down to the chuppa very soon. Hat-
zlacha rabba.u
WE WISH ALL OUR CUSTOMERS A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!
Note: Offer valid until Sept. 25, 2017. Not valid with any other offers.
78 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
er was willing to malign a person she “being fresh” is not a major concern. I have to tell you that these parents care
hasn’t seen in years. I always tell peo- would chalk it up to being a teenager. more for the impression they make on
ple that if you have nothing good to And teenagers grow up. With parents others than for the welfare of their own
say about a person, don’t say anything, to emulate, and mussar and ethics child.
because you never know if you will be learned from rebbeim and other teach-
the one who broke it off even before it ers, this young man certainly changed Let’s get real. Recent references have
started. Could it be that the teacher still and became the staunch individual you told you that he comes from a good fam-
bears a grudge against this young man, write about. ily, is successful, and if a hard worker
and when you inquired about him, saw with good middos. While you never real-
an opportunity to “get him”? I know You ask what would be the cut-off ly know anyone until you live with them,
it is shocking to suggest this, and it is age for taking the information serious- if there are any red flags, your daughter
harsh to suspect anyone of such mean- ly. I would say that for a boy it would will see them after a date or two. Mean-
ness. However, the desire for vengeance be the 12th grade, or 17 to 18 years old, while, it is unwise to keep her from meet-
is a part of human nature and must and for a girl in the 11th grade, 16 to 17 ing him because of who he was at age 15.
therefore be a consideration whenever years old, since girls mature and mar- How was your daughter at age 15? If you
we deal with people. ry earlier than boys. Then again, after asked any of her teachers, you might not
they graduate and go on to yeshiva or get a raving report either.
We also don’t know if he was “chutz- seminary, teens grow and mature fur-
padik” only in her class or with his ther, so an arbitrary cut-off age may To sum up, I don’t think you should
rebbe, parents, and other teachers, not be relevant. look for the person who was perfect from
too. Sometimes teachers who are not birth. I would stop this foolishness and
skilled or not well liked invite chutzpa By the way, I once heard about parents let your daughter go out and see for her-
from the students. So, you see, there who complained to a kindergarten teach- self. If it is not bashert for her to marry
are many questions about this refer- er that their child was not finger painting him, then Hashem will guide her in the
ence, and I would not put much stock properly. How would he get into Yale? right way.
in her opinion. If the teacher had said Yes, there are people like this. A parent
that this boy was on drugs or into alco- once said to me, if I keep my child back Hopefully, you will walk your daugh-
in kindergarten or send her for special ed, ter down to the chuppa very soon. Hat-
zlacha rabba.u
WE WISH ALL OUR CUSTOMERS A HAPPY AND HEALTHY NEW YEAR!
Note: Offer valid until Sept. 25, 2017. Not valid with any other offers.
78 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
