Page 86 - issue
P. 86
Indeed, it is not for us to determine Ribono Shel Olam (G-d). I know of many He does not have to be a learner. He can
what caused your brothers to go off the shidduchim that materialized in strange be someone who is koveah itim and has
derech. It happens in many frum fami- ways, and no one knows where yours will a profession or other type of job. These
lies; I am sure that your family is not the come from. boys may make wonderful husbands,
first to face this dilemma. There are plen- but they, too, are foolishly discriminated
ty of parents who try their hardest to raise Broaden your horizons beyond shad- against in our PC shidduch world.
their children in the derech Hashem, yet chanim. You may meet your bashert in
some outside force rails them in. We nev- shul, at someone’s house, or be intro- We know many, many people who
er know all the facts that cause a person duced by a mutual friend. I would sug- have been in your situation, have met
to leave the derech Hashem. Each situ- gest that you always be composed, look the right person, and have built beau-
ation is different. Especially since, from your best, and have an air of simchas tiful families, so you and your sister
your description, your parents seem to hachaim (happiness) about you. In the should not despair. Hashem is always
be sincere people, we cannot speculate event you do meet someone on your watching over us. As for your brothers,
as to why this has occurred. We simply own, I would suggest you ask a mentor you never know what your continued
have to daven and try to work with your or a friend with whom you are comfort- relationship with them could bring
brothers, and perhaps that “pinteleh Yid” able to be the go-between and serve as a about. People in kiruv meet these kinds
will surface again. shadchan. The most important quality in of boys every day. Many of them be-
a shadchan is that he or she be someone come wonderful balabatim, and some
It is unfortunate that people cannot whom you trust and are able to talk to, even become members of outstanding
separate you from your family issues. So so that you can discuss your questions, kollelim.
goes the shidduch world of today! But doubts, and positive attributes of the oth-
all is not lost. I would suggest that you er individual. I hope I have given you a little more
think out of the box and do your hishtad- insight into your situation and – most
lus (efforts). You never know how far it There are also shadchanim who deal importantly – hope in your future. I
will lead you. As I have said in the past, with individuals with special family cir- wish you hatzlacha (success) in finding
we must remember, above all, that we cumstances and could probably help the right zivug (mate). The Ribono Shel
shadchanim are only the shlichim, the you. Many boys come from similar situa- Olam should intercede, and hopefully
messengers. The real Shadchan is the tions. You need to consider boys who will your entire mishpacha will dance at your
look at you and not at your environment. wedding very soon.u
78 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
what caused your brothers to go off the shidduchim that materialized in strange be someone who is koveah itim and has
derech. It happens in many frum fami- ways, and no one knows where yours will a profession or other type of job. These
lies; I am sure that your family is not the come from. boys may make wonderful husbands,
first to face this dilemma. There are plen- but they, too, are foolishly discriminated
ty of parents who try their hardest to raise Broaden your horizons beyond shad- against in our PC shidduch world.
their children in the derech Hashem, yet chanim. You may meet your bashert in
some outside force rails them in. We nev- shul, at someone’s house, or be intro- We know many, many people who
er know all the facts that cause a person duced by a mutual friend. I would sug- have been in your situation, have met
to leave the derech Hashem. Each situ- gest that you always be composed, look the right person, and have built beau-
ation is different. Especially since, from your best, and have an air of simchas tiful families, so you and your sister
your description, your parents seem to hachaim (happiness) about you. In the should not despair. Hashem is always
be sincere people, we cannot speculate event you do meet someone on your watching over us. As for your brothers,
as to why this has occurred. We simply own, I would suggest you ask a mentor you never know what your continued
have to daven and try to work with your or a friend with whom you are comfort- relationship with them could bring
brothers, and perhaps that “pinteleh Yid” able to be the go-between and serve as a about. People in kiruv meet these kinds
will surface again. shadchan. The most important quality in of boys every day. Many of them be-
a shadchan is that he or she be someone come wonderful balabatim, and some
It is unfortunate that people cannot whom you trust and are able to talk to, even become members of outstanding
separate you from your family issues. So so that you can discuss your questions, kollelim.
goes the shidduch world of today! But doubts, and positive attributes of the oth-
all is not lost. I would suggest that you er individual. I hope I have given you a little more
think out of the box and do your hishtad- insight into your situation and – most
lus (efforts). You never know how far it There are also shadchanim who deal importantly – hope in your future. I
will lead you. As I have said in the past, with individuals with special family cir- wish you hatzlacha (success) in finding
we must remember, above all, that we cumstances and could probably help the right zivug (mate). The Ribono Shel
shadchanim are only the shlichim, the you. Many boys come from similar situa- Olam should intercede, and hopefully
messengers. The real Shadchan is the tions. You need to consider boys who will your entire mishpacha will dance at your
look at you and not at your environment. wedding very soon.u
78 u www.wherewhatwhen.com u
