We made aliyah 16
months ago. For the first 14 months, everyone asked: How are you adjusting, and
how is your Hebrew? Can you read the newspapers and understand the TV news? And
when are coming back for a visit?
The answers to those questions
were always quite simple: We are doing fine and not encountering anything that
we cannot handle (sometimes with some help from children, grandchildren, or
strangers). My Hebrew is better than it has been in 40-plus years, but I am far
from fluent. I can manage, though, in almost every normal circumstance as
almost all Israelis “have some English” – or so they think. I can struggle with
newspaper articles, as long as I have Google Translate and a dictionary for
Shabbat. I catch enough of the broadcast news to know what they speaking about
– but not to the extent that I would go out and make an investment based on my
understanding of what was said. That one is a real struggle, but everyone
insists it is the best way to continue to improve your Hebrew. As for the final
question, around Sukkot, we were talking about a visit – but that ties into the
other questions.
For the past two months the
questions have changed, reflecting reality. Simchat Torah changed so many
things in Israel. The questions now are: How are you dealing with the matzav? Do you have anyone in the army?
If yes, where? And do you know anyone who was killed or taken hostage on
October 7th or since?
None of the people asking these
questions realize how these questions could impact the person to whom they are
directed. That is why every mental health person in the country is busy working
or volunteering. But here are my answers:
How are you dealing with the matzav? We have it as easy as anyone
in the country. We were not ordered out of our homes to stay in a hotel room
for months. Our jobs have not been impacted. Our livelihood has not been
threatened – retirement took care of those concerns. But the other questions
mean that even we are impacted and cannot avoid the war issue for more than a
few minutes. In that, though, we are the rare exception. Most people cannot
avoid the subject for even a few minutes. Almost everyone is managing to hold
it together, but that takes great amounts of courage and fortitude. Our
strongest way to deal with the situation is to keep things as normal as
possible, to the extent that is possible. See answers below for examples.
Do you have anyone in the army? Yes, our son received his Tzav 8 (call-up notice) on October 7,
and with the exception of a couple of days off, he has been on active duty
since then. This is one of those answers that means that, yes, we are impacted.
Every time there is a report of casualties, you stop until they tell you where
the casualties occurred. It’s human nature to immediately pray that this did
not occur where our son is serving – but that causes an instant slap in the
face because you certainly are not hoping someone else’s
son/daughter/husband/wife/father/mother has been injured. Again, I offer no
answers, because I don’t think there is an acceptable answer – but every time
the question is asked, our minds are immediately back to worrying. As my wife
put it when we met our son when he was on 48 hours leave, “Now I can
breathe.”
If yes, where? This is one of those questions that people from the
U.S. do not realize is one we do not want to answer. No one will tell you, “My
kid is in Khan Yunis.” The reason is not that people are not supremely proud of
those people on the frontline. The reason is that no one wants to be the person
whose phone has been hacked by Hamas, and saying a location could give them an
advantage. Some people answer in cryptic ways. A soldier could say, “Near where
we spent vacation last Yom Tov,” which is a fine answer if the person asking
knows where you were last Yom Tov but is otherwise worthless. Most people I
know answer north or south, with no other details. Everyone knows that north is
safer than south but still not safe. So this question poses real security
problems in addition to focusing our attention back on the fact that our son
and nearly 400,000 others are in harm’s way. By the way, the same applies to
questions about what people do in the army. No one answers with statements like
“my son is in counterterrorism fighting in XYZ.” Despite their pride, those
people whose children are in special units do not say so. At most they say, “My
son is in a combat unit.” People
understand what it means when your child says they will be “radio silent” for a
few days or “don’t expect to hear from me.” It means that you do not want to
know the details because it will only make the worrying worse.
Do you know anyone who was killed or taken hostage on October 7th
or since? We do not directly know anyone killed on October 7th
or so far in the war. But there have been numerous people from our community,
Efrat, who were killed. It has unfortunately become common to stand for funeral
processions passing by. My sister’s friend lost a son. My grandniece has a
12-year-old classmate who was kidnapped and held hostage in Gaza for 50 days
before her release. I cannot imagine how their teachers deal with that. The
stories are beginning to circulate, and I feel obligated to hear them or read
about them, despite how painful they are, because there are already too many
people denying that October 7th occurred. I would urge everyone to
find out as many details as they can in order to answer the deniers. It took
nearly 20 years for Holocaust deniers to become organized and vocal. It took
Hamas less than 20 days to have organized vocal deniers in every country in the
world.
Those are the broad strokes. Now
for more on how and what we are doing: We still get up each morning, daven, eat
breakfast, and decide what needs to be done that day. Some days we need to
drive two hours each way to help our daughter-in-law with the grandchildren.
She and all those like her are the true heroes of the home front. She is
working full-time, taking care of four children – all that while her husband is
“away.” She doesn’t have time to worry, but how can she not?
We, like every other grandparent
in the country, are always available for assistance, no questions, but the
communities are taking care of these newly single mothers. Our daughter-in-law
in Binyamina receives a steady stream of food – from homes and carry-outs. She
makes a phone call and someone comes and babysits for a few hours to give her
time off. The last time we visited, she informed us that the best part of the
visit was a long hot shower with no children walking in. Little things have
become meaningful. In Efrat, local efforts included coupons to the ice cream
store for every parent of a soldier.
There are innumerable calls for
specific items for soldiers. For example, our son’s unit wanted waterproof
tactical pants that are more comfortable and water-resistant. On Wednesday, he
called his brother Jonah, who was in the U.S. on business. Jonah verified that
what they wanted was approved by the army. After that, it was a matter of a
simple Amazon order, delivered to him in New Jersey, and a duffle bag to carry
it in. He had no trouble at Ben Gurion – there is now a special exemption for
military supply donations. We then picked up the duffle at Jonah’s home in
Raanana and took it to Binyamina, where it was picked up by a logistics person
for our son’s unit. Six days after the initial telephone call, the unit had
waterproof pants. Two days after that, it was raining.
Over 300,000 soldiers have been
called into reserve duty. Those called are mostly in their 20s and 30s – people
who are all regularly in the workforce. In two days, the workforce in Israel
declined by nearly 10 percent. The economic impact of losing that large a
portion of the workforce is currently only on the minds of the economists, who
are looking into the future. The rest of the country is only focused on today.
How can people focus on anything else?
But somehow, most businesses are
surviving, not thriving. It has become fashionable for teenagers to work. While
before October 7th, those teenagers who were working mostly needed
to do so, now, it is part of the spirit of volunteering for teenagers to be
taking the job of someone who was called up. Obviously, these are entry level
positions: cashiers, wait staff, stock clerks, etc. No one I have heard about
is running a major company. But those jobs for wait staff being filled allow
restaurants to reopen. It makes it possible for the neighborhood store to
reopen with groceries. There were even volunteers as young as 14 stocking
shelves at Rami Levi in Gush Etzion. One report indicated that over 50 percent
of the country has participated in at least one volunteer effort.
On the other hand, the
construction and farming sectors have been crippled. They relied on Palestinian
and foreign workers. Now, most Palestinians are prohibited from entering most
Jewish communities. Many foreign workers have gone home. Construction jobs
cannot be taken over by untrained teens and cannot be learned on the job. So we
see advertisements from home repair companies that state they use only Jewish
workers – meaning that they can continue to take projects. However, a large
number of electricians and plumbers have been called up, so those companies,
too, are shorthanded. The only Jewish workers available are those who are done
with their reserve obligations. We know a couple, recent olim from Baltimore, who cannot move into their apartment. It needs
about two weeks’ work to be finished, but there is no one to do the job.
So what else do we do? We try to
volunteer for jobs that we are able to do. There are a lot of volunteers
picking fruits and vegetables. Regular buses have been arranged for volunteers
to pick fruits. That is physically demanding work. My wife Janet’s sister has
gone picking. My sister’s husband has gone several times but never more than
once or twice a week. Most retired people cannot do that type of work; it is
too physically demanding. We have even seen notices that specify how many hours
they need from volunteers. They also mention if there are positions that can be
done sitting, like packing herbs. People step up. But I was put in my place
when I was told I could not donate blood even with a note from my doctor!
Though they did give me a cookie.
It’s inspiring to see how the
people of this country are resolved that this war is something that must be
done and how they are prepared to pay the costs – in lost economic output and
blood. Life in lots of areas is on pause. For example, universities simply did
not reopen after the chagim: too many
were students called up. The latest announcement is that there will be at least
two weeks’ notice before reopening, which will not be before January. Hotels
are filled – but with displaced persons who have no interest in going to
restaurants or taking jeep rides in the dessert. One hotel closed its spa,
renovated the area, and has been using the space for classes for displaced
students. One of the kibbutzim near Gaza, which lost no people, due to the
actions of their security people, has announced that they are moving out of the
hotels and returning to their homes as soon as the army says it is safe to do
so. They say they are used to missile attacks and want to go home.
So the country is continuing,
because ein breira, there is simply
no choice.
Alan and Janet Abramowitz are
both former multi-generation Baltimoreans who retired and moved to Israel in
July of 2022.
