I was shopping at Seven Mile Market when I bumped into Shlomo Tzvi Baden, who over 20 years ago, when he was a student at Georgia Tech, boarded in my home in Atlanta. He asked me if I would be interested in hosting singles for a Shabbos meal once a month. After filling out a form answering questions on preferences, etc., for his project, Singles on the First (SotF), my husband and I had the privilege of hosting two young women for Shabbos lunch. When recently I asked to host singles again, Mr. Baden said, “I need more people, both singles and hosts, in your neighborhood and others.”
SotF is one of the latest efforts by Baltimore individuals and organizations to focus on singles. Mr. Baden started this project a little over a year ago after reading an article by a divorced woman. She felt frustrated and neglected and asked others to please reach out to to her. Mr. Baden felt that he “had to step up and do something” for all singles. First he contacted several rabbis to ask if anyone was setting up singles for Shabbos meals. Rabbi Daniel Rose, of Congregation B’nai Jacob Shaarei Zion, told him that Steve Schwarz had recently asked him a similar question. Soon, Mr. Baden and Mr. Schwarz started SotF. Although they confer with each other, Mr. Schwarz mainly arranges formal meals several times a year for 10 or more singles, while Mr. Baden sets up singles once a month for Shabbos meals.
SotF’s purpose may be for singles to have a place to eat on Shabbos, but it has a side benefit: When singles meet more people in the community, and their hosts get to know them, magical things might happen, like dating suggestions.
To sign up for Singles on the First, as a single or a host, or find out about single socials, contact Shlomo Tzvi Baden at shbaden@gmail.com.
The Shidduch Center
Other shidduch organizations focus on actual matchmaking. The Shidduch Center has been a very successful initiative for singles in Baltimore since its founding six years ago. Sara Schachter, a board member, says that Rabbi Shlomo Goldberger, who became executive director four years ago, has taken the Shidduch Center to new heights.”We’re really proud that in the last four years, b”H, we’ve arranged over 700 dates, which resulted in 70 engagements,” says Mrs. Schachter. She also notes that the Shidduch Center’s results have proven successful for singles across many demographics and ages, and community leaders across the nation have sought their assistance in setting up similar initiatives.
The official mission of the Shidduch Center is to “facilitate dates for Baltimore’s singles.” To achieve this goal, the Shidduch Center has four shadchanim regularly involved in this holy work. “The amount of work invested in a shidduch is beyond what people can even imagine,” Mrs. Schachter states. (As a former matchmaker on Sawyouatsinai.com, I can attest to that.) This is why the Shidduch Center gives its shadchanim support for their devoted efforts. Each shadchan has a monthly quota of new dates to set up, which increases the number of dates for singles in Baltimore. “We only compensate for actual results,” says Mrs. Schachter. “It’s not as much as they deserve for all the time, expertise, and efforts they expend, but it definitely incentivizes them to work more hours and set up more Baltimore singles.” On the Center’s website, www.shidduchcenter.org, one shadchan shares her story of how this incentive makes a difference.
Sometimes the Shidduch Center invites shadchanim from outside Baltimore to meet our singles. In November, they held an event with shadchanim from Lakewood and Passaic as well as a large number of local shadchanim. Singles made multiple appointments, meeting many shadchanim in the same afternoon. Within the same week, the Shidduch Center held an event at Ner Israel for local shadchanim to meet the young men who are dating.
The Center also sponsors educational events for the community and separately for singles. One such event, scheduled for February 9, is the third annual Bais Yaakov/B’nos symposium, which offers young women an introduction to the world of shidduchim and includes a presentation of how the Shidduch Center can help them navigate their time in shidduchim.
Rabbi Goldberger spends time each week meeting with singles and parents at their request. He offers help and guidance and, if needed, refers singles to mentors, therapists, and rabbanim. Many community members have expressed their appreciation for these referrals, saying that their weddings could not have taken place without the close involvement of the Shidduch Center.
For more information, email info@shidduchcenter.org or call 443-955-9887.
The Baltimore Shidduch Group
Another respected endeavor is called the Baltimore Shidduch Group. It was started many years ago by Laure Gutman, a”h. Three years ago, to revive it in her memory, Laurie Austen and Annie Shimanovitz formed a new group. For the past two years, meetings were held at Mrs. Austen’s home. Now, Debbie Glazer is hosting them. Singles can request a form to fill out for a database set up by Mrs. Glazer. Single men and women are also welcome to present themselves at the meetings, held once a month.
According to Mrs. Austen, “The group’s members meet around a table and ‘present’ men’s resumes. The women then brainstorm to try to find a match from the Baltimore women we have in our database.” She says that, except for Mashe Katz, “who works hard on a regular basis,” most of their committee members are not shadchanim. “We make connections, but the couple is pretty much on their own or will ask for a shadchan,” says Mrs. Austen. The Baltimore Shidduch Group is run by concerned mothers and other caring members of the community.
For more information, email shidduchgroupbaltimore@gmail.com.
Shul Shidduchim
The newest shidduch endeavor doesn’t have a name yet, but they’re working on one with the word “shul” in it. That’s because it’s made up of representatives from various congregations. Buci Sackett is the impetus behind this project. After she married off her children, she said to herself, “Now, you have to help others.” Because she sees strength in shuls working together, she tried to get “shuls onboard.” Right away, eight shul representatives came forward.” The first thing each representative did was make a list of the shul’s singles. Several representatives discovered that they didn’t know the singles in their shul. “When you daven for someone that you don’t know, it’s not the same as when you know the person,” says Mrs. Sackett. So since September, her committee has held three Meet and Greet events to get to know Baltimore’s singles.
The first one involved singles from shuls led by Rabbi Heber, Rabbi Weiss, and Rabbi Horowitz. It took place at the home of Shulie Ambush, with committee members doubling up on appointments to accommodate everyone. So many singles signed up that they had to turn some away, but Mrs. Sackett encouraged them to send her their resumes anyway. With little time for publicity, the second event, right after Yom Tov, was held for men only at Rabbi Menachem Goldberger’s shul. The third Meet and Greet, held at Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion, was for singles from shuls led by Rabbis M. Goldberger, Silber, and Teichman. “However the word got out,” says Mrs. Sackett, and singles came from other shuls, including Rabbi Heber’s, Rabbi Dinowitz’s and Rabbi Marwick’s.
Mrs. Sackett says that several members of the committee have already set up dates for the singles they met. These matchmakers include Mashe Katz, mentioned previously, Susan Zwany (Suburban Orthodox), Joyce Litzman (Rabbi Goldberger’s shul), and Chaya Liebes (Darchei Tzedek). Congregation Darchei Tzedek has its own shidduch group led by Chaya Liebes, which recently hosted Rebbetzin Karlinsky. Speaking to a small group of women who came out in the rain, Mrs. Karlinsky said that she doesn’t have all the answers for singles, but her encouragement was uplifting.
The newest scheduled event for Mrs. Sackett’s group is a Super Bowl Party/Social for 25- to 40-year-olds, hosted by the Storches on Fallstaff Avenue.
For more information on this event or others, contact cbsackett@gmail.com.
Making an Effort
Baltimore also has several tehilim groups davening for our singles. We all know Who is really making each shidduch, but doing our hishtadlus is important – whether by hosting singles for a Shabbos meal, supporting the Shidduch Center, joining one of the shidduch groups in town, making a match even if one is not a shadchan, and, of course, davening. As Buci Sackett says, “If we do something, maybe Hashem will say, ‘They’re making the effort.’”
