Kiryat Sefer, Modi’in Illit
I entirely identify myself as part of the Israeli chareidi community. I am also an immigrant from the
U.S. and am identified as such as well. I first came here to learn in yeshiva
only after getting a college degree.
My rebbe told
me in the name of Rav Hutner, zt”l, that all immigrants to Eretz Yisrael
are a “transition generation.” We decided to go through a transition from the way
we grew up into a different kind of life that we now wish to lead. This is not to
say that we grew up with anything inherently “bad”; we just want something else
for our children. We want them to be sheltered from what we were exposed to in the
“old country.” We want to give them the opportunity to grow to greater spiritual
heights than we were able to obtain.
An outcome of being “transitional” is that we will always
be somewhat of an outsider to the community. We will never be a natural part of
the country, but our children will. Therefore, it is not worthwhile to raise our
children here in the Israeli environment as Americans with an American philosophy
and method of education. Parents who insist on doing so are often found badmouthing
the country and the educational system here, and by doing so they inject poison
into the integration process of their children. This is regardless of the fact that
there may be challenges in the Israeli environment that we wouldn’t have had in
America.
Integration is of the utmost importance. If you feel you cannot
integrate into the chareidi community
here (it is harder and there are more obstacles), you may consider other communities
you are more compatible with. For example, a fine community within the dati leumi (national religious) ideology
does exist. Weigh the pros and cons, and make an informed decision based on real
data and evidence. Whatever community you are researching, look at how the next
generation emerges from it and decide if that’s how you are comfortable envisioning
your children. There is more polarization here between chareidi and dati leumi, and if you don’t decide, your children
will have to deal with a lot of confusion.
My identity as an American – my accent, behavior, outlook,
and mannerisms – will never go away, but my Israeli children are not at all disgraced
by it. To the contrary, with Hashem’s help, I have instilled in my children a feeling
of being proud of who I am, which includes being an American.
For the guidance that will always be necessary, I have found
it to be of crucial importance to find an American rav who lives in Eretz
Yisrael and understands the system here from the “inside.” The fact that a rav
is familiar with my own American mentality and background is simply not enough.
About 12 years after moving to Eretz Yisrael, I went through
another transition. Up until then I was learning in kollel full-time. We
had several children, lived frugally, and were financially supported by our parents.
My wife didn’t work, and the time came when it was appropriate for me to pursue
parnassa opportunities while continuing a half-day of learning.
As it had been several years since I had finished college
in the U.S., I felt I needed to “refresh” my credentials here before going into
the working world. I went to Tel Aviv University, taking afternoon graduate courses
that were designed for people who were working in the mornings. This allowed me
to keep a half-day learning schedule, learning iyun in kollel in the
mornings. I didn’t go all the way to getting a Ph.D. because the process is much
more involved and difficult here, being impossible to pursue while running a big
family and a half-day learning schedule.
At the university, I met someone looking for a freelance engineer.
This unique opportunity allowed me to work from my own office near my home in Kiryat
Sefer, and I would go in once a week to submit the results of my work. Over the
course of the next 25 years, I went from job to job, getting higher-level security
jobs for major companies like Elbit. This required me going out to work away from
my home and the sheltered chareidi community,
into an entirely chiloni (irreligious) Israeli environment.
The Jewish character of this country does have an influence:
Jewish holidays are off-days, and in many cases my employers will be fine with me
taking off for Chol Hamoed as well. But one must be aware of other aspects of the
secular work culture and be equipped and properly prepared to deal with the challenges
(which would exist in the U.S. as well). In this regard, it is important to always
be in touch with a posek.
There are issues beyond basic halacha, such as social
interaction with the people at work, especially with members of the opposite gender.
This is something that the secular do not understand. I have found that avoiding
the cafeteria saves me a lot of trouble.
People here are very opinionated, and they feel they must
express their opinions to their coworkers. These opinions are influenced by strong
anti-religious undercurrents and by the media portraying chareidim in a terrible way – whether by focusing on individuals not
acting properly or by just grossly misinterpreting events – so I don’t feel a need
to “justify the chareidim.” Especially
in such a setting, I find that it’s important to feel – and give over the feeling
– that I’m proud about who I am and how I identify myself.
Unofficial
Spokesman
Chareidim have made much progress over the last few years, including in terms of
natural growth and political power. This has sometimes caused my chiloni
(irreligious) coworkers to express strong anti-religious sentiments. Much of this
comes from their emotions, and I make it very clear that I will not tolerate this.
I have learned that there are some issues which are absolutely
forbidden to discuss with them, as such discussions will never be productive. This
includes issues such as chareidim not
serving in the army and not celebrating Yom Ha’atzma’ut (Israeli Independence Day].
I tell them I understand where they are coming from, and I offer to host them for
a Shabbos and we’ll have the whole day to talk about it. No one has ever taken me
up on the offer, but it does keep them quiet.
Though rare, they sometimes express genuine interest in learning
about chareidi culture. When I married
off two boys within one month, I was asked how the chareidi shidduch process works. Likewise, when I was learning
Menachos, I was asked what it is that
I am learning, so I explained it to them a bit.
This article is part
of the Eretz Chemdah series featuring Anglo-Chareidim living in, settling, and building
up Eretz Yisrael. A project of Avira D’Eretz Yisroel, coordinated by Yoel Berman:
info@aviraderetzyisroel.org.
