Having a baby is always an exciting event, and while
no two births are the same, after a few births, many women feel a certain level
of comfort. They think that they know what to expect. Well, that changed when COVID
reared its ugly head. I personally found my last birth and hospital stay to be
a very different experience than the previous ones. I decided to ask some
friends and neighbors for their say on the matter.
Test and Go
If the mothers of many thought that they
were familiar with hospital procedures, they were in for a shock. Upon my
arrival at Hadassah Ein Kerem, I was forced to submit to a COVID test, even
though I had a “teudat hachlama,” a
certificate proving that I had already recovered from Corona.
I had it easy. My friend Tzippy*
complained that she was given a COVID test mid-contraction; they didn’t
bother to wait for the contraction to pass. This upset her and showed a
lack of compassion and consideration. But it is not the discomfort of the test
that is the biggest worry for many; it is the fear that a positive test result
would put the entire family in quarantine just when Mommy is away and the
children need play dates and babysitters. Shani* told me that she specifically
chose to go to Shaarei Tzedek Hospital because they were not swabbing on entry.
She chose her hospital based on that alone.
Going It Alone?
The trend in Israel is that most women
take their husbands along as well as an additional support person: a doula,
friend, or mother. With COVID raging, many hospitals made strict policies
regarding whom they allowed to enter the hospital. The comforting arrangement
that most women expected quickly disappeared. One friend of mine, Chavy,* was
sick with Corona when she went into labor with her first child. She went to the
hospital by herself. They did not allow her husband or anyone else to accompany
her. It was terribly traumatic to be alone, surrounded by staff members fully
geared up like astronauts.
Dassy* also went to the hospital alone. Her
husband was busy pacing up and down in the parking lot because they would not
let him in the building without a “tav
yarok,” a certificate of vaccination.
Tzippy, however, gave birth in Asaf Harofeh hospital, where they allowed both
her husband and an additional support person to accompany her. In fact, that
was one of the reasons she chose that hospital! In Hadassah Ein Kerem, where I
gave birth, they were very welcoming of husbands, doulas, mothers, and whomever
else you wanted to bring in with you, as long as none of them had fever and
they were fully masked.
Masks Please
I remember the beginning of COVID, when
my children were fighting the mask-wearing policy. They had all sorts of
complaints: “It’s nerdy!” “I’m embarrassed!” “I can’t breathe in this!” I kept
insisting that, just as they don’t leave the house without socks and shoes, it
will soon be second nature to wear a mask. “You won’t even think of leaving the
house without it!” I said. Well, upon entering the hospital, I changed my tune.
Everywhere I turned, the staff barked at me “mask.” (Israelis don’t waste their
words. No need for “please….”) I am generally an easygoing person who tries to
follow the rules, but here I put my foot down. There is just no way I’m going
through labor with a mask on my face. Except for the mask issue during
labor, I found the staff In Hadassah Ein Kerem to be very
understanding and accommodating. After I was assigned a room, they were not
stringent about my mask covering my face at all times as long as I did not
leave the room.
Tzippy felt that the mask
requirement added unnecessary tension. Her husband entered the hospital with a
cloth mask, and the staff decided it was not adequate and insisted that he
change to a surgical mask. Tzippy shares that it was done “in a highly
unpleasant way. They said, ‘Change to a surgical mask NOW, or get yourself out
of here.’ No offer of a mask was made, and there was no way for him to get
one.” The situation made her very anxious.
Chavy was not allowed to remove her mask
for even one moment! True, she was sick with COVID, but the rest of the people
in the room were in full preventive gear, and she found the mask made an
uncomfortable situation all the more unpleasant.
Throughout my hospital stay I did not
have to wear a mask as long as I was in my room. That seems to have been
the protocol in most hospitals, as per my unofficial poll. However, any time a
staff member entered my room, I was required to be masked. The nurses,
doctors, cleaning crew, etc., would stand at the doorway of my room and scream
“Masks, ladies, masks!” before entering the room. I kept a mask on my night
table and spent the day putting it on and taking it off. I found it to be a
comical nuisance.
Hospital Stay
Every hospital has its own setup
for postpartum care. In some, all babies room-in with their mothers, and
in others the babies stay in the nursery at all times. Many hospitals offer a
choice or a combination. In my previous hospital stays, I had the baby with me
from 5 a.m. (yes, they start the day early there) until 10 p.m. Overnight the
babies were left in the nursery and mothers were called to the nursery in the
middle of the night to feed their babies. With COVID rampant, however, the
hospitals were afraid to have so many people mingling. Any woman who put her
baby in the nursery would need to do a COVID test on the baby each time they
took the baby out and brought him back. I kept the baby with me. No way was I
going to let them stick that swab up my poor innocent little newborn’s little
nose! The downside of that was that my roommate had her baby with her the whole
time, too. And her baby screamed – all night long. And the lady just blissfully
slept through it all while I was up all night listening to her baby scream. I
tried to wake her up but she was a deep sleeper. Finally, I had pity on her
baby and went to get a nurse to take care of the poor thing.
Another big change in my hospital stay
was mealtime. Pre-COVID, the nurse would announce on the intercom that all mothers
should come to the dining room: The meal was being served. Food was set up
buffet style, and everyone took a tray, helped herself, and found an empty
seat. Yes, we each tended to find a seat with a table of our “own kind.” COVID changed
everything. We were still called down to the dining room, but there were no
tables. The food was wrapped and doled out by a fully masked and gowned staff
member. Each woman took her tray back to her room and ate by herself. I found
it to be a very isolating few days.
Visitors
I have no family in the country, and my
immediate family is quite a distance from the hospital that I chose, so I am
used to not having visitors. Many others found the no visitors policy extremely
hard. Dassy was in a hospital with a
strict no-visitors policy. Even her husband was not allowed in. She gave birth
to the first grandchild on both sides, and her parents and in-laws found it
upsetting to have to wait three days to see their new wonder.
Chavy had no visitors, of course, because
she was recovering from birth in the COVID ward, not the maternity ward. Before
she gave birth she just felt like she had a mild cold. After she had the baby,
she felt very sick. She was too sick to want a visitor, even if it would have
been allowed.
Tzippy told me that she was allowed only
one visitor the entire hospital stay. Neither parents nor in-laws were allowed
to visit and kvell at her newborn as
in former times. And of course, her children and her siblings were not allowed
in either. “I missed the visitors,” she said, “but the upside was that the
baby got more skin-to-skin contact and more quiet time with just Mom.” While
she enjoyed the quiet time with her baby, she was lonely, and felt that time
passed slowly. Tzippy was “very ready
to go home”.
The Other Side of
the Coin
Faygie Neuvert was sick with Corona when
she gave birth to her first child. She too, had to wear a mask, not have
visitors, and follow stringent hospital COVID policies, but Faigie had a
very positive experience. “When I started having symptoms of COVID at my due
date, my first reaction was to cry. And to cry. And cry.” Someone connected her
with a friend who had recently given birth while sick with COVID. The woman
explained to her that it is all a matter of perspective. “If you think you’re
a mizkayna (poor nebach)
because you have COVID and are all alone, you’ll be traumatized for life. Instead,
know that you are a princess! You’re getting your own personal midwife! Undivided
attention! A much calmer situation.” That really helped Faygie. She said, “I
anyway have Corona, I’m not going to cry!” She started calling hospitals
and asked them what their protocols were. She ended up giving birth in Laniado
and had a beautiful experience. Although she had originally planned to take her
mother and a doula with her, she was not allowed to but did not feel that
anything was missing. Instead of being stuck in a delivery room and ignored
till she desperately called for help, she was assigned her own personal
midwife. Normally, midwives take care of several patients at one time. Now that
the midwife was suited up in her protective gear, she could not run from
patient to patient. Her midwife was so positive, caring, and encouraging that
Faygie felt very pampered! The midwife was there only for her and did all that
she could to help her.
Regarding masks, Faygie
said, “Believe me, I don’t remember wearing the mask. I was so busy having
the baby that I didn’t even care what was on my face, on my head, on my
clothes!” And while it is true that she could not have other visitors, they
did allow her husband to come in. As long as he didn’t leave, he was
welcome to stay as long as he wished. He came with her for the birth and remained
for the entire three-day stay! There are no roommates in an isolation room, so
her husband was allowed to sleep in her room. He helped take care of the baby
and Faygie. This was great, as the staff were hesitant to enter her room. As an
added bonus, she and her husband had a private vacation together with all their
needs taken care of! Faygie indeed felt like a princess!
The bottom line is that, although many
women had experiences very different from their expectations, all were grateful
to come home healthy with the gift of a healthy baby in their arms. May Hashem
bring many more simchas to klal Yisrael!
* a pseudonym
