In the last issue, I described recent research into a phenomenon called adverse childhood experiences, or ACEs. Studies show that abuse and neglect, exposure to domestic violence, household substance abuse, parental mental illness, parental separation or divorce, or an incarcerated household member, affect people into adulthood and can even decrease their lifespan. They are more likely to struggle with alcoholism, drug abuse, and depression as well as cancer, heart disease, and chronic lung disease. While, trauma in childhood has been called “the greatest public health issue of our times,” it is often hidden and unrecognized.
There is hope, however. The
study of ACEs should motivate us as a society to identify ways to manage its
impact on our physical and mental health. There are multiple paths to healing
and gaining tools that can help us lead long, healthy lives. The six areas
mentioned in this article, adapted from Dr. Nadine Burke Harris’s website
(stresshealth.org), are among many solutions and interventions that are currently
being studied and recommended to both adults and children who have experienced
ACEs. It is important to mention that these six recommendations are best
practices for all individuals – even those without a history of trauma
or chronic stress – and are incredibly helpful in managing current stressors,
such as COVID-19, or just the normal stress we experience in our daily lives.
Sleep
It can be challenging to make sure to
get enough sleep each night, but the negative outcomes of persistent poor sleep
are significant, especially on children, who need to sleep well in order to
develop properly. We know that children who get the right amount of sleep are
sick less often, focus better at school, and can cope with stress more
effectively.
First, consider how many
hours of sleep you or your child should be getting on an average night,
something a health professional can help you with. Then, develop a consistent,
relaxing bedtime routine, aiming to go to sleep close to the same time each
night. Reading or doing a mindfulness exercise in bed can help relax the body
before going to bed. (For children, I recommend Peace Out by Cosmic Kids Yoga.)
Limiting screens of all types in the bedroom prior to bed is highly
recommended. Being active during the day can also make
sleeping easier at night. If you or your child has any issues with sleep, speak
with a health professional about evidence-based solutions for this issue.
Mental Health
There is a strong correlation between
ACEs and later mental and emotional health issues. Mental health support is
invaluable in protecting children and adults from the negative cumulative
effects of ACEs and chronic stress. If your physical health or that of your
child seems affected, such as experiencing frequent stomachaches or headaches,
it is even more important to seek trauma-informed mental health support in
addition to standard medical care. Of course, this is especially true for
parents, whose job can be extremely challenging (even if they had a relatively
easy childhood themselves!). It is important to find a mental health
professional who is supportive and whose approach works well with your
personality and needs. Medical professionals, rabbanim, or organizations like
RELIEF are invaluable in helping you find the right person to help you in this
area.
Mindfulness
Individuals with a history of
significant adversity often have a hard time returning to a relaxed state once
stressed. They may feel stressed or anxious much of the time. Mindfulness
exercises can help! When you are in the middle of a difficult situation, stop,
take a deep breath, and check in with yourself. Observe the rate of your
breathing and anything you are feeling in your body such as tension or
tightness in a certain area. Also try to observe your worrying thoughts in a non-judgmental
way.
Breathing can be very
helpful in relaxation. “Belly breathing” works really well with both adults and
children. Sit or lie down and place one hand over your belly and the other one over
your chest. Breathe in through your nose and feel your belly expand. Breathe
out through your mouth and feel your belly pull in. Breathe deeply in this way three
to five times.
There are many websites,
apps (Calm and Headspace are good places to start), and books with various
mindfulness techniques. Even simple mindfulness practices like playing close
attention to sounds, sights, smells, etc. while we are outside and not getting
stuck “in our heads” can make a big difference.
Supportive Relationships
The best way to help someone who has
or is experiencing a traumatic situation is through developing a supportive relationship
with him or her. Loving and supporting a child who is experiencing trauma can
give him or her the resilience to cope and respond to the situation in a way
that minimizes the negative impact.
Sometimes parents who
have experienced their own ACEs have a harder time utilizing coping skills and
supporting their children through difficult challenges. It is especially
important to get help in these situations so that you can help support your
loved ones appropriately. If you feel that you did not receive support and love
when you experienced trauma, it is not too late! There are many mental health
professionals who specialize in trauma and can help you heal and learn to “re-parent”
yourself. In addition, developing healthy, supportive relationships with your
family and friends can make a big difference in your ability to heal and manage
stress in your own life.
Physical contact also helps
children develop a healthy brain and body. Hugs calm the internal stress
response, and it is important to hug and cuddle with our loved ones in a way
that lets them know that they are supported and loved. Even just being present
with those closest to us, and giving them our full attention, lets them know
how much we care about them.
Nutrition
Our community’s frequent kiddushim,
treats, and simchos, can make nutrition choices a real struggle. Often, when
people are under stress, they eat too much or too little of foods that are not
healthy for them in the long run. This type of eating can exacerbate health and
mental health issues.
It is good to eat at
specific times without distractions, ideally together with family. It is also
important to eat a healthy breakfast each morning and increase access to
different vegetables and fruits. Whole grains and healthy proteins are also
great additions to a balanced, healthy diet. It is very important to make sure
that we are staying hydrated by drinking water throughout the day. Ultimately,
we want to eat in a way that creates a healthy relationship with food and our
bodies! It is important to speak to a qualified professional if you need help
integrating more healthful eating beliefs and behaviors into your life or feel
that you are frequently restricting yourself and/or overeating.
Exercise
Physical activity is a great way to
manage stress and improve one’s mood. Exercise can actually improve our brain
structure and function! Our bodies are often full of stress, and movement helps
us get rid of it. Any sort of physical activity is helpful – dancing,
stretching, yoga, or playing sports. If you are a parent, keep balls, jump ropes
and bikes around – and get outside! Being close to nature is very helpful for
our bodies, and if we are moving at the same time, it is even better. Find some
sort of activity that you enjoy, and “just do it”!
Remember it is not all or
nothing. Even small improvements in any of these six areas, such as such as improving
sleep, drinking more water, or seeing a therapist, can be beneficial and lead
to further healing.
Bracha
Poliakoff, LCSW-C, is a clinical social worker and a
licensed provider of continuing education for mental health professionals who
lectures on a variety of topics including the impact of trauma throughout the
lifespan. This information is adapted from stresshealth.org.
