It was about 30 years ago, but I still remember the enthusiasm of my son and his friend as they prepared a beautiful mishloach manos to give to their fourth-grade rebbe. It was not an obligation; it was a labor of love that drove them to prepare their own basket and walk over to present it to their rebbe.
I have another memory of a knock on the door during the Purim seudah at my parents’ house many years ago. It was the mother of one of my mother’s kindergarten students, who brought over many containers of homemade food to show her hakaras hatov (appreciation) to her daughter’s beloved kindergarten teacher.
Purim and the mitzva of mishloach manos has become a time to show our appreciation to the moros and rebbeim who teach our children. Many mechanchim prepare unique mishloach manos to give out to their students and set aside special times for them to stop by. And the children enjoy wearing their costumes and showing them off to their teachers.
Here are some thoughts I gathered from friends, and relatives.
1. It is important for the parents to keep in mind that we are two people living without children in the house. Give things that adults will enjoy. It is a shame to throw tons of lovingly prepared food into the garbage.
2. I would prefer if parents did not give me homemade goods. I do not know the families of all my students personally, and I may not be comfortable eating homemade items.
3.Giving an expensive present to a rebbe is wonderful but only if the rebbe appreciates it. I once was given a $100-bottle of wine, but the bachur might as well have given me a bottle of Coke!
4.One most memorable parcel stands out in my mind: A young student saw that her friends were all bringing me packages. She wanted to give one as well but didn’t have anything. So she took a sandwich cookie, wrapped it up in a paper towel that she tied with a string, and wrote a rather misspelled one-line thank you note to go with it. It was so basic that her mother would have been embarrassed if she knew. But that was the gift that touched me the most.
5. Sometimes I have had a special relationship with a student and spent a lot of time helping him, and it is nice to be acknowledged on Purim.
6.I also especially value getting mishloach manos from a fellow teacher. It shows that she values my friendship and my expertise. I appreciate getting something from the administration as well.
7.For those who leave their package the door and run, please leave a note to identify who it’s from.
8.I used to prepare a large elegant shalach manos for the rebbeim and sometimes principals as well. I felt it was important for my kids to see we were machshiv (valued) the teachers and for the teachers to feel our hakaras hatov.
9.Many parents took time to write beautiful cards along with a check. As someone who puts so much of my “kishkes” into teaching – giving over to and loving my students every day – I appreciated being acknowledged in that way. Having said that, I can also imagine that the pressure of “acknowledging” multiple teachers of multiple children probably adds a tremendous level of stress come Purim time, which is supposed to be a time of happiness. So, while I do truly appreciate the gesture (and the cash), I understand if a parent can’t.
10.I’m an assistant at a school and just want to put out there that if you are only going to give the main teacher, please bring it to her house; don’t give it to her at school. It doesn’t feel good to see the “main” teacher of the room get something while not receiving anything at all. By the way, it’s totally not necessary to give mishloach monos to us! Just please do so fairly if you are and privately otherwise.
11.Although, it is wonderful to see the members of our shul on Purim and receive their thanks in the form of mishloach manos, it makes me very sad to see all the wasted food that results from Purim. Purim comes right before Pesach, so the last thing I need is piles of cakes and cookies that are impossible for my husband and I to eat in three weeks. I would be so grateful if people would bring things that can be saved or eaten on Pesach or that two adults will enjoy. Otherwise, a lot of the food ends up in the garbage.
12. The best mishloach manos I ever got was a large Farberware pot filled with Pesach products. The child who gave me that is already married, but I still think of her every year when I use that pot for Pesach cooking!
13.I actually love Purim. I genuinely like my students, and I love the validation of having them come to my house on Purim. It gives me a great feeling when 75 percent of my class shows up. If it is too hard for my students to come on Purim day, I appreciate the gesture either before or after as well. I especially like getting checks and letters. Although I do not get very much money, it is the thought that counts. I actually save all the letters I get.
14.I try to teach my students that it is much better to give mishloach manos to a person who is not your best friend already, and to find other students who will not be getting a million other ones.
15. Do the math: six children times two teachers per child is 12 stops and 12 nice mishloach manos to give. It adds up quickly. Also, the traffic on Purim is often crazy, so even small trips take a long time.
