People often ask
me how I get ideas for my articles in the Where
What When. One of the ways is from the books that are left on my porch to
be donated to the Jewish Used Books Collection. A perk of this collection is
that I get to peek at the books before others buy them. Recently, a book landed
on my porch that aroused my interest.
It is called Frum
Speak: The First Dictionary of Yeshivish by Chaim M. Weiser (1995). The
book is a dictionary of words that are commonly used by many frum English speakers, although they are
not part of the English language. Most of us recognize these words but would probably
have trouble defining them. And, interestingly, the words can have different
meanings depending on the context of the conversation, and they can be
complimentary or derogatory depending on the speaker’s intention. Here are some
words and their meanings from the book:
* * *
Modern: Characterized by
a perceived lack of rigor or strict attention to more than the absolutely requisite
Orthodox values or practices.
Nebach: 1) A pathetic,
unsuccessful person, a loser: He is such
a nebach he could lose money by winning the lottery. 2) Regrettably: Since his father is nebach
so poor they can’t pay tuition.
Tzu-floigen: 1) Bewildered and
unable to be aware of goings on. 2) Sloppy and in a state of disarray. 3)
Disorganized and irresponsible.
T’shuka: 1) A deep and
sincere desire. Longing.
Yeshivish: 1) Marked by the
norms of tastes, style, or manner typical of yeshiva. 2) Not conforming to
accepted standards of etiquette. 3) Of inferior or obsolete quality. 4) Holding
fast to the views common to yeshivas.
What am I to
conclude from these definitions? Do they make things clearer or more muddled?
For instance, if a person is making inquiries about a family and hears, “They
are yeshivish. What does
it mean? If a person says that somebody has a t’shuka for money, does it mean he is a miser or a baal tzedaka? Is a modern person a person who has modern conveniences or does it mean
he is not interested in halacha?
Who Decides What Words Mean?
We see from these
examples that words – especially words that are not English – can have
different meanings to different people. In addition, every culture and society
has its own use of language. Meaning of words can depend on what country you
come from, how old you are, or what type of neighborhood you live in.
Youngsters: Even the youngest people have their own
culture and language. My little granddaughter comes home from playgroup saying
words that she hears other children saying. She has no idea what the words
mean, but I imagine she assumes that those words are important and exciting to
say. Once she called me a non-complimentary name that she had heard in
playgroup. I asked her what that word meant and if she wanted to be that word
also. She agreed happily. We laughed together as we agreed that that silly word
that she heard in her playgroup described both of us! By playing around with
her, I changed what she thought was a bad word into a funny word. It became a
game.
Two Different
Languages: When
I was a child, my father used to call me a schnucky. It was a term of
endearment that he used, and it made me feel loved. When I grew older, I heard
from others that schnucky was not a
complimentary word. Sure enough, when I googled schnuk this morning, the
computer told me that it means a foolish,
gullible person, a pushover. Was my father really calling me a fool in
the guise of a loving word? It turns out that in German (my father’s mother
tongue), the word shnuck means sweet.
When my father called me schnuky, he
was really saying sweety. For our family,
schnucky was a loving word, even though we did not know German.
Misunderstandings:
Once
I gave shidduch information to a friend who called me about a certain
family. In my description I used the word geshikt. I do not know what
language that word is, but I thought it meant that the family was handy and
efficient, the kind of family that knows how to get things done. My friend did
not ask me what the word meant, and we went on with our conversation. I would
have thought it was important to understand what I said, but maybe she did not
understand me and felt uncomfortable asking. A while later, the couple got
engaged, and I went to the vort. As soon as I walked into the room, my
friend came running over to me and breathlessly asked me what geshikt
means. Now that the couple was engaged, she wanted to understand what I had
told her!
Speaking the same language:
There
is an expression used when people misunderstand each other. We say, “They don’t
speak the same language!” If people who speak the same language can
misunderstand each other, how much more likely is it if they don’t speak the
same language?
There is a story
in the Gemara about a
husband and a wife who were from different countries and spoke different
languages. The husband asked the wife to get him two melons. She misunderstood
and got him two candles. The husband got angry and told her to break the
candles on the top of the doorway. A doorway is called bava in Aramaic. She misunderstood and thought he meant that she
should break the candles on the head of a tzadik
called Bava ben Buta. When the unsuspecting Bava ben Buta asked her why she
banged him on the head with a candle, she told him that she was following the
instructions of her husband. Bava ben Buta gave her a bracha that she
should have great children because she had obeyed her husband. It seems that
even in the times of the Gemara people misunderstood each other.
Today, we also
sometimes hear of marriages between people who do not speak the same language.
I once met an English woman who married an Israeli whose mother tongue was
Yiddish. I am not sure how they got to know each other before they got engaged
without a common language, but after they got engaged, she took Yiddish
lessons. When I met her, she already had a number of children and spoke to them
only in Yiddish. She told me that her mother, who lived in England, was annoyed
that the children spoke no English at all. I asked her what she did if she
wanted to say something to the children and did not know the words. She said it
wasn’t really a problem. If she did not know a word in Yiddish, she said it in
English. For example, if they saw a ladybug and she did not know the Yiddish
word, it was okay to say ladybug!
Recently, a
non-Jewish man did some work in my house. He noticed a painting on the wall and
asked me what it meant. The symbolic painting depicts This World and the Next World
with a connecting staircase filled with good deeds. The Hebrew words say, “This
world is like a hallway leading to the next world.” This Chazal is very
familiar to people living in the frum
world and would need no additional explanation. I explained the words to the
man, but I have no idea what he thought. In the culture he came from, there may
not be any concept of Olam Hazeh and Olam Haba, with a staircase
in between. Although I spoke in English, I am not sure he understood what I
said.
Why Are Words Important?
The purpose of
this article is to show that language is not static; it is not black and white.
The meanings of words change depending on the culture, age group, and language
of the speaker. Be aware of the words you are using and give examples and
verbal illustrations to explain what you mean so that you do not convey the
wrong information. The listener is also responsible to ask questions and
clarify what he is hearing so that he does not get an incorrect impression.
Words are very
important. It says in Mishlei, “Life and death are in the hands of the
tongue.” We all have the power to help or to destroy using the power of speech.
