As a new grandmother, several years ago, I was excited to greet each grandchild and to celebrate their milestones as they grew. My paternal grandparents were quite elderly when I was a child, and I did not get to know them well. However, I did get to know my maternal grandmother. She taught me to knit and to embroider. She was an excellent cook, and I have fond memories of watching her make waffle cookies with an iron over the open flame on her stove. Later, I was able to ask her questions about her life as an immigrant in America. It was a connection that I made between her and the generations before her. So I looked forward to also making a connection with my grandchildren.
The great part about being a grandparent is you do not have to worry about the hard parts, like discipline or outcomes. It is all fun. If there is a temper tantrum, you just take them back home. It is so satisfying to get to know your grandchildren individually. Each grandchild is unique and special. Dedicating time to spend with each one alone can be very rewarding. I have recently returned from a trip to Costa Rica with my twin granddaughters, the youngest of my nine grandchildren. I have had many other fulfilling experiences with all my grandchildren. Aside from the fun and adventure, spending time together forges a relationship that is wonderful and enriching for both.
Far-Flung Adventures
We have gone to places like Costa Rica, Ireland, Seattle, and California. With each trip we tried to do something adventurous. We overcame our fears as we thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. On some trips we went whitewater rafting, splashing through the swells. On others we went zip lining over the treetops. Still others found us horseback riding down streams and splashing in waterfalls. On one trip, we took a tiny plane out to small islands, landing right on the water. These experiences gave the girls confidence that they could do things that they had never imagined doing. I specifically take the girls because I feel that, for the boys, becoming a bar mitzva is a confidence-building experience. I want to give the girls a confidence building experience as well. And I have been fortunate to be able to take each of my granddaughters on a special trip before her bat mitzva.
There were many firsts on these trips. The flight to and from our destination was a first. It was often the first time away from home, and the girls had to learn to navigate through the airport with security checks and, sometimes, customs. It was the first time staying in hotels and cabins and keeping track of their belongings. We learned about the history of our destinations. We went into pre-historic sites, castles, and beautiful synagogues. We took underground tours of a city to learn about its founding. There were volcanoes, rain forests, hot springs, rocky barrens, and the wind-swept Aran Islands. We saw new animals and plants. There were orcas, monkeys, reptiles, and tropical birds. We watched a beautiful Pacific sunset on the La Jolla beach, where we were joined by a young seal. It was his bedtime, and he was not going to let tourists get in the way of a good night’s sleep.
There were often pleasant surprises – like coming upon secluded individual hot springs in the rainforest surrounding our hotel near the Arenal volcano in Costa Rica, or being assigned the hotel’s villa because we needed a kitchen. The villa had an upstairs bedroom with trundle beds, which overlooked the Arenal volcano. An afternoon hike near Seattle brought us into a field of blueberry bushes, filled with ripe tasty fruit. In Ireland, we had Shabbos services and kiddush in the Dunnbonne Castle, the renovated manor house where we stayed. The room we used for this was actually a bar. In fact, the whole hotel seemed to be a bar. We could roam any place in the hotel or on the grounds except the spa. No children were allowed there. On one of our homeward-bound planes, we were given seat changes, and these seats turned out to be in first class. There was also a sudden storm that grounded this plane in Newark. But because we were first class now, we were first in line at the ticket counter and able to get a seat on the next train into Baltimore.
Not everything went smoothly, but that was also fun as we worked out plan B or C. There was the London trip, which suddenly morphed into the Seattle trip because of terror attacks in Britain. Luckily, we were able to use part of our airline tickets and, because of a kind friend, to get a place to stay. Some of the trips were kosher trips, but not all. We had to work out our food and sometimes our transportation.
The Ireland trip did have kosher meals. The chef prided himself on his wonderful meat meals. Each dinner meal had three meat dishes and tables set with white tablecloths and napkins and white china. Since I am a vegetarian, I had let the tour company know that I needed vegetable or fish for my meals. Evidently, the chef had not gotten the message. When he went around to each table to see how the people were enjoying their meal, he found me enjoying my green mint sauce. The green sauce on the white dish looked very Irish. He was surprised but was able to get fish for me in subsequent meals and also made some delicious vegetarian appetizers.
Then there was the time in San Jose, Costa Rica, when we became lost on our way to shul on Shabbos morning. When we asked directions, we found that we were far off the mark. Luckily, we knew how to find our way back to the hotel. We had to switch to plan B for Shabbos, davening in the room. We found a surprise 39 Clues book on a shelf to read on Shabbos afternoon. Luckily, we had plenty of food and did not go hungry.
Closer to Home
Most grandparents may not be able to take their grandchildren on such extensive trips. However, they can find daytrips close by. For example, I have taken a grandchild to the Spy Museum in Washington D.C. to go on a private spy mission, or to Gettysburg to view the battlefields with a tour guide. When the grandchildren were younger, I took them on trips nearby. Irvine Nature Center had a night program for an owl watch. We did not hear a real owl in the wild but we did have fun out on a warm summer night getting used to seeing in the dark. There are many local parks to go hiking and nature centers to investigate.
We have done a historic tour of Baltimore ending up at Fort McHenry. One of my grandsons loves trains. The B&O Railroad Museum has lots of trains to climb on and occasional short rides on old trains. The Pikesville Library has many programs for children that are free. I took one grandchild to a reptile program.
When the grandchildren were very young, I took them to Storyville to play dress up and for a shopping trip in a pretend grocery store. Now there is something very similar at the Park Heights JCC. In the early years with my grandchildren, when my husband Jerry was still alive, we made a carnival for them in our house. We had bowling with a plastic ball and pins, face painting, and cooking. We made “stone soup,” starting out with an actual stone before adding the vegetables as it says in the book.
A grandparent can share a hobby or a skill. Each spring I have my grandchildren pick out plants and fill their planters. I also like science, and I bought an inexpensive microscope. We have enjoyed looking at cheek cells and at tiny organisms we found in pond water.
These trips and times spent together with our grandchildren are not only fun and adventuresome; they also allow us time to get to know each other. We learn more about each child and connect with him or her before they become very busy as adolescents. This can result in another adult relationship outside the immediate family where they feel comfortable discussing challenges. It allows us as grandparents to give them an experience that their parents cannot give them, either because of time or money. It shows the grandchild that we think they are very special.
