Despite the heavy
toll Covid took on us, many people found opportunity in the midst of a
difficult situation. At the risk of minimizing the hardships and losses we
faced during this time – especially of those who suffered horrendous tragedies –
I polled members of our greater community to see what their personal silver
lining was. After all, isn’t the legendary resiliency of the Jewish nation in
the face of tragedy partly due to our seeking out any possible good?
Home on the Range
For many,
increased family time was a Covid highlight. “Tragically, my father-in-law was niftar
from Covid,” said one anonymous responder, “but on the bright side, we spent
such nice laid back family time at home. For example, my 15-year-old learned
how to make challa from scratch (which I would never have bothered to teach her
until after her chasana), and my 13-year-old learned to make kugel – again, not
something I would have davka encouraged, because I prefer to ‘man’ the
kitchen, if you know what I mean.”
Penina Steinbruch
concurs: “I always love vacation, so I loved everyone home all day. I thought
it was great that my kids had to come up with ways to entertain themselves. Two
of my boys – who are not very close – learned with each other, since they had
no one else to learn with.”
Esther T. relates,
“Covid was very hard for us, but I can point at one benefit I’m very grateful
for: One of my toddlers didn’t have school for a few months. I had returned to
work when she was only five-and-a-half weeks old – compared to a maternity
leave of over three months for my other kids. I always felt so guilty, and
found things to point at, saying: ‘She’s having trouble with X because I spent
less time with her as a baby, etc. Now I was able to totally make up for it! B”H, she ended up spending more time
with me than any of her siblings.”
A Miraculous Experience
Shaina Bluma Segal
shared how unbelievable hashgacha (divine providence) ensued because of Covid
for her son Avraham Aharon. He was born with hydrocephalus and multiple
disabilities, including visual impairment and autism, and was a student in the
Maryland School for the Blind since the age of three.
“When Covid struck, I was terrified about him not having a structure
and being home all day. Now, looking back, I see that Covid wrought miracles in
my son’s life. Two years in, when Avraham Aharon was 12 years old, through a
miraculous turn of events, my son ended up in Torah Institute’s preschool, with
a shadow. He mastered all kinds of new skills, and it has been the most amazing
journey. He started off there as a guest when the public schools weren’t
opening and the Jewish schools were. The children fell in love with him, and he
fell in love with them.
“It was the most unbelievable win-win situation,” Mrs. Segal continued.
“Unbelievable hashgacha unfolded every step of the way! Avraham Aharon has mastered the whole alef-beis, he
learned five of the nekudos, and he can now translate almost any word in
Chumash. Also, he can now write his name and numbers, follow school routines
without assistance, and he developed social skills.
“The staff and students embraced him with all his challenges, and he
brought out the beautiful middos in everyone. They learned so much from a boy with such compromised
abilities, who worked so hard with such simcha to accomplish what the other
students do with a fraction of the effort and at a much younger age. On the
last day of school, at line-up, they gave him the most beautiful loving
farewell.
“Nobody could have dreamed this up for him,” concludes Mrs. Segal. “In
life there is always hope; one can never give up hope. It’s clearly a story of
miracles and chesed from Hashem.”
Zooming through Covid
Other people found
increased learning opportunities to be their silver lining. Rochel Alpert noted,
“I found many positives. One that comes to mind is the expansion of access to shiurim for those who are homebound via
call-ins, recordings, and Zoom. Many shiurim
in my shul, K’hal Adath Jeshurun/Breuer’s, have either remained call-in or
maintain that option, and we have gotten so much positive feedback from people
either far away or homebound.” These shiurim
can be accessed by visiting www.kajinc.org.
Prolific author
and speaker Bracha Goetz mentioned, “I ‘visited’ continents I’d never been to
before – Zooming to Africa, Australia, and Asia with book presentations. Since
I wasn’t doing in-person events during the pandemic, I had lots more time to
give presentations online and on the radio. I love connecting with adults and
children all over the world. What a great variety of people!”
She adds, “It also
helped me to see how much we all have in common – as my messages about how to
live more joyfully with gratitude were absorbed by widely diverse audiences,
including truck drivers, ex-convicts, teens in China – and frum Jews! Additionally, the pandemic provided us – practically all
at once – with a huge lesson in not taking things for granted in life. Things
like gatherings, hugs, our health – even our breathing – suddenly gained value.
It was a giant push forward in our spiritual evolution toward savoring simple
moments in joyful gratitude.”
Covid Goreres
Mitzva
C.M. Fletcher, a
resident of Eretz Yisrael, told me, “I enjoyed the home davening, with my husband
only a few steps away on the other side of the balcony door. At Rav Frand’s
suggestion that everyone should take on a new mitzva in those challenging
times, I started davening Maariv (bli
neder) with the gift of a minyan
almost in our backyard.”
Hannah Heller
shared, “Covid taught me to appreciate the time I had to spend alone for
Shabbos. I learned that, in spite of the limitations, I could make my Shabbos
meaningful and beautiful. When I got tired of being alone, I took walks outside
and saw people, whom I talked to at a distance. I made Shabbos special by
always getting dressed up, even though I was by myself. I davened with lots of
singing, set up a nice table, sang zemirot,
and studied the parsha.
“Since I knew it
was going to be me and the four walls – and the walls were covered with ugly
wallpaper that was peeling off – I took the bold step of getting the house
painted,” Hannah continued. “I also replaced the blinds. The inconvenience and
the moving things around kept me busy and focused so that I improved my quality
of life and didn’t have time to complain about the strangeness of my life at
this crazy time. I learned to stop complaining about getting annual mammograms.
Going to my appointment meant I was going to see people and get a change from
the walls of my house and being all alone. I decided I was no longer going to
complain about the discomfort of the procedure because it is so important for
guarding our health, and it got me out of the house.”
Running Free
Chana Rochel
Rubinstein was living in a two-bedroom apartment on the Lower East Side of
Manhattan with her six children when Covid struck.
“Almost two years ago, we had to quarantine for 52 days as we slowly
passed Covid around the family and then had false positive Covid tests,” began
Chana Rochel. “We were practically locked in jail in our little apartment on
the third floor of a big building. In order to leave, we had to go into the
hallway and the elevator or stairs. My next-door neighbors were so petrified
about us that they were wearing masks inside their apartments. If we were seen
around the building, we would have had some very angry neighbors.
“So, we decided to spend a week quarantining at my in-laws’ deserted
summer home in Woodridge, New York. We packed our stuff and headed to their
large, four-bedroom house in the country. It has a huge dining room that doubles
as a playroom. It has two floors and privacy, so that each of my kids had space
to homeschool. It has a tremendous porch, and there were tons of deer running
around outside. The leaves on the trees were all colors of the rainbow, and
there was a stream cutting through their colony, as well as several
playgrounds. Because we were the only family there, we had free use of all of
it. My nature-loving children had a great time floating twigs and leaves down
the stream, and when a coyote ran through, my nine-year-old had a howling
conversation with it.
“Right across from my in-laws’ house was a mountain, and my kids, who
had been cooped up in a tiny apartment for way too long, were happy to spend
hours running up and down the mountain with only the deer for company.
“We ended up going back there for another week when we found out we had
to quarantine longer than the two weeks we expected, and again we had the most
wonderful experience. We all agreed that our long quarantine at home was the
worst part of our year, and the two weeks spent in the country were the best
part of our year.”
Making Lemonade
Rebbetzin Faigie
Horowitz – writer, political advocate, and nonprofit veteran who serves as the
Rebbetzin of Agudas Achim of Lawrence – told me about what she made happen for
herself during Covid.
“Working for a
home care company, I realized that a lot of people who would normally go to
assisted living facilities would be staying at home or leaving facilities
because of the risk of infection,” notes Rebbetzin Horowitz. “I researched home
modifications for seniors and took distance-learning courses to qualify as a certified
aging-in-place specialist who could advise families of seniors and people with
disabilities on how to modify their homes for safety. This led to several Zoom
presentations and opportunities to do remote marketing for the company.”
As a founding
member of JWOW! Jewish Women of Wisdom, for Orthodox mid-lifers, the Rebbetzin
says, “I learned to develop and deliver programming for women across the
country (and globe) together with my fellow founders. By upping our Zoom skills,
we were able to reach many more women. We also wrote many articles and columns
about JWOW! The isolation of mid-lifers and their need to stay safe led to our
reaching greater numbers of our niche population.”
Rebbetzin Horowitz
also improved her skills as a writer, “so I would have something to show for
myself during this forced isolation,” she says. “I took two Highlights courses
on writing for children and ultimately completed a middle-grade historical
novel during National Novel Writing Month 2021. As a domestic engineer, I
reconfigured prime real estate in my kitchen and cleared about 10 closets. And,
as an overweight person, I made many salads, exercised, and lost pounds and
inches!”
It has been said that the only
thing in life we can control is our own reaction to our situations. Covid came
upon us without warning and took away so much. Yet it also gave the
priceless gift of time. Many of us used that time to accomplish something
special. We can all learn from their example.
