We are in the season of Yetzias Mitzrayim, when we talk about leaving Egypt and slavery and gaining freedom. Sometimes people experience their own personal Mitzrayim. But when one chooses to rise above their circumstances, however troubled, and, instead of giving up and blaming their failures on their past, makes a better future, this essentially is their own private Yetzias Mitzrayim
I had the privilege of interviewing Mrs. Faigy Rabinowitz, the wife of Rabbi Pinchas Rabinowitz, director of Bikur Cholim. Faigy is an LCPC-licensed mental health counselor and an example of someone who experienced a Yetzias Mitzrayim of her own. She went from growing up in an orphanage in Meah Shearim to living a fulfilling life as a wife, mother, and successful professional in Baltimore.
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Faigy is the fourth of six children. Her mother passed away when she was only seven years old; her oldest sister was 12, and the youngest was only two. Her father was a child of Holocaust survivors, and without family support he was unable to cope with raising the young children on his own. Faigy and her sisters were sent to an orphanage called Beit Lepletot, Girls Town Jerusalem. She lived in the orphanage until she got married, although she went home for Shabbos. In fact, the head of the orphanage, Rabbi Poppenheim, made her shidduch.
The staff of the orphanage was kind to her and her sisters, and it was a relatively pleasant experience for them. Still, Faigy always felt like an outsider. The orphanage was run by the Yerushalmi Eida Chareidis. Faigy’s parents were Belzer chasidim, a mainstream chasidus. The Eida Chareidis community is less outgoing and more stringent in their education, using an “old-fashioned” approach to chinuch in line with minhag Yerushalmi of yore. If Faigy had continued in the Belzer schools she attended before her mother died, she would have had a regular Bais Yaakov education, which would include some job training, and she would have been more prepared to find a job within the community. But because she switched to the Eida Chareidis school, Bnos Yerushalayim, when she moved into the Beit Lepletot, she was not given a “secular” education. She studied in Yiddish, learned very little math, science, or other secular subjects, and although she was living in Israel she barely knew how to speak and write Ivrit. The school focused mostly on the practical skills that one needs to run a household, rather than academic subjects, in the literal sense of “Kol kvuda bas melech pnima.”
It was hard for Faigy to make friends with the other girls in the school or orphanage. She missed her mother dreadfully and couldn’t understand why she had to die and leave their family so bereft. (Most of the girls in the orphanage were not orphans per se, rather girls from homes lacking in financial stability.) She felt that nobody understood what she was going through. She began to dream of being able to help other people who suffered. In her last years in the orphanage, Faigy herself became a madricha for younger girls and realized that she actually could help other girls and have a positive impact on them. She became even more determined to get training so that she could help others who were lonely and lost as she had been.
Although she graduated high school at Bnos Yerushalayim, she was not sufficiently prepared – nor did she have the tools – to go any further with her education. What she had learned in school did not qualify her even for a recognized Israeli high school diploma.
Faigy got engaged and married Pinchas at a young age. Her vort was actually in the home of the Belzer Rebbe; the Belzer Rebbetzin had been an old friend of her mother. It wasn’t easy for Faigy and her husband when their first child was born, one year later, with spina bifida. Faigy had a hard time dealing with this new challenge. During that time, she was exposed to a new world of doctors and therapists. That experience gave Faigy the impetus to think about becoming a therapist herself and helping others in her situation.
Faigy forged on determinedly towards her goal. She knew that her experiences would give her the insight and empathy that would allow her to help others. She just needed a real formal education, therapeutic skills, and a recognized diploma. She had to start at the very beginning. She didn’t speak a word of English and, of course, could not read or write English. She even had to become more proficient in reading and writing Ivrit. She also had no math skills. Starting from the very beginning, it took her three years to get her official high school diploma! She attended a program in Israel where she was the only religious student. What a culture shock it was coming from Bnos Yerushalayim.
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It was the Rabinowitz’s son and his medical journey that brought the family to Baltimore. They relocated to Baltimore for medical treatment when their son was about seven years old.
After some time, Faigy continued her quest for education in Baltimore. She still had a long way to go to become fluent in English and attended English-as-a-second-language classes at CCBC. Finally, she was able to complete her bachelor’s degree through Excelsior College at Maalot and then applied and was accepted to Loyola University’s degree program in Pastoral Counseling.
After completing her master’s degree, graduating as a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor, Faigy started her working life with Catholic Charities and at the Counseling Center of CCBC as a psychotherapist. Despite the vast differences between herself and her clients at the time – mainly African-American people growing up in Baltimore, while she, the therapist, was brought up in an orphanage in Jerusalem – Faigy was able to use her natural empathy and nonjudgmental attitude to help her clients work through their pain and strive to reach their goals.
Today, five years after graduating, Faigy has a busy private psychotherapy practice where she strives to help people in our community using the methods she learned in school and the experiences she lived through to help her clients grow and thrive. Faigy accepts Medical Assistance and Care First because she believes that every person is worthy of receiving the help they need and being able to afford it. Having experienced so much herself, she can relate to people in all kinds of circumstances. She runs support groups for parents of adult children with disabilities. She runs bereavement support groups for Gilchrist Hospice Care. She co-founded and still works with Blinks, an organization that works with girls who have lost a parent. She helps clients work on various issues, such as family dynamics, anger management, and behavior modification as well as trauma and grief.
Here is how Faigy described her role as a counselor in the graduation journal she wrote to the faculty of Loyola University: “Being a professional counselor, I know and believe that all humans are created in the image of G-d. I believe that G-d loves every person and desires only the best for him. I believe that everything happens for a reason. Sometimes we understand; however, most of the time, we do not understand. This idea offers me comfort when something difficult happens in my life or the life of a client.
“As a pastoral counselor, I know that I am just a fellow passenger – a messenger from G-d to help His people. I know that I do not have the solutions to the problems, nor can I change the reality of the client. The things I am trained to do is to be there empathically for my clients in difficult times, listening, encouraging, and reassuring them. I teach them coping skills, help them maintain hope for the future, focus on moving forward, and grow from their experiences.
“In my personal life experience, I have found that difficult times have often spurred me to pray more passionately and seriously, increasing my feelings of connection and reliance on Hashem. I have grown spiritually during my dark hours and have come through them with increased trust in my Creator and a renewed feeling of purpose in my life, a purpose to the journey.… I believe that a spiritual struggle as part of my journey has had a positive impact on the clinical experience. My personal journey has helped me become a more sensitive counselor and highly attuned to my clients. As a result, I may be able to subtly guide the client to use his or her challenges to grow positively.”
Getting to know Faigy and hearing about her life was inspiring and uplifting. The difficult challenges Faigy faced brought her to where she is today. But Faigy gives credit to Hashem, Who, she says, is “Hameichin mitzadei gever (Hashem prepares a person’s path in life). Hashem, she maintains, guided and supported her every step of the way so she could achieve her goals. And about her husband Pinchas, she writes in her graduation journal, “To my dear husband Pinchas, who believed in me and supported me throughout my journey. He helped me make my dream a reality.”
Faigy believes that one’s past does not have to define one’s present and that all people can make a choice to leave their personal Mitzrayim and to achieve their own personal cheirus, freedom. This can sometimes also be defined in reaching out for help. It’s a message we can all take to heart.
Faigy can be reached at faigy410@gmail.com or at 410-961-2373.
