Vicki Kampler had a decision to make. She lived 120 miles north of her married daughter in Baltimore, 120 miles south of her married daughter in Teaneck, and 6,000 miles west of her married son in Israel. And for almost 11 years, since her husband died, her kids had been urging her to move closer to them.
“I was living in my beautiful three-bedroom, three-bathroom, two-story home in Philly,” says Mrs. Kampler. “All my memories were there. I never thought I would move away from this place, where I was exceedingly happy for 54 years.” Mrs. Kampler woke up one morning intending to redo her living and dining rooms. “The wallpaper and drapes still looked fine, but I decided that, after 23 years, it was time for a change. As I was about to leave the house to pick out new wallpaper, I said to myself, ‘No, I’m not. I’m going to move!’”
Mrs. Kampler moved to Heather Ridge in August to be closer to her daughter, Michelle Schwartz, her husband, Eddie, and family, and has found Baltimore to be “the kindest, friendliest city.” I met Mrs. Kampler recently when she handed me her beautifully designed “calling card” over the parsnip display at Seven Mile Market. She’s pretty friendly herself!
“It was my decision to move here,” says Mrs. Kampler, a native New Yorker who settled in Philly with husband in 1960, where they owned a mom-and-pop printing shop. “Something just made me do it. I have no idea what. But,” she says, “I am not sorry for one minute. I thought it would take me 10 years to unpack, but it only took me two weeks. It looks like I have lived here forever. It’s wonderful to visit a child,” she adds, “and not have to pack a suitcase.”
As for her daughter, Michelle Schwartz says, “I feel blessed to have my mother here, and I am grateful that she has acclimated well. She’s very friendly and makes friends easily. I wish she would have moved here sooner!”
Mrs. Kampler is very independent and hopes never to be a burden to her children. She is always looking forward to good things. “I never worry in advance; I believe in doing what is good right now instead of thinking about something that might or might not happen,” shares Mrs. Kampler, who doesn’t get together with her local kids a lot on Shabbos. “I told my daughter before I moved here, ‘When I move, you will have your life, and I will have my life.’”
Mrs. Kampler keeps busy with a routine. In Philly, she volunteered in the English department of a day school and attended a shiur given by “an extremely interesting and knowledgeable woman.” She hopes to continue these kinds of activities when she is a bit more settled.
“I am never bored,” says Mrs. Kampler. “I love the piano and I practice. I use my computer and do errands during the week. On Shabbos I read a lot. I start a book on Friday night and finish it by Shabbos afternoon. I love being at home, and I love to cook and bake. I cook supper for myself every night. I eat on dishes, never on paper. I treat myself like company!”
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One year ago this summer, Rabbi Shlomo and Mrs. Shoshana Porter built an addition onto their house so that Mrs. Porter’s mother and stepfather, Rabbi Leib and Mrs. Chana Taub, could come to Baltimore and be near them.
“When we realized that things were getting more difficult, we had discussions about what would be the best thing to do,” shared Mrs. Porter. “We decided that their moving to Baltimore would make the most sense, and we were very excited about it. It is going beautifully, baruch Hashem. The timing was right, and the set-up is right.”
The Porters built a full apartment attached to their house and connected by an interior door. “It can be closed when we or they want it,” says Mrs. Porter, “and opened when we all want it.”
Mrs. Taub lived in Philly for more than 70 years, and the move was definitely an adjustment for her. But because the advantages are so many, the Taubs are quite pleased with their decision. Rabbi Taub integrated immediately and learns daily in Bais Hamedrash and Mesivta of Baltimore (Rabbi Slanger’s yeshiva) and in the Baltimore Community Kollel.
“We are all very appreciative to Hakadosh Baruch Hu,” remarks Mrs. Porter. “We are appreciative of each other. We express hakaras hatov to Hashem and to each other as often as we possibly can, and we’re very grateful that it is working out so well. My husband is also an unbelievable part of all the things that need to be taken care of. He is phenomenal.”
The Porters and the Taubs have established a “minhag” of eating together on Shabbos night, when they limit guest invitations to their usually full Shabbos table. The Taubs usually eat Shabbos lunch at their own table.
“It is a big zechus (privilege) and a big bracha, and we are very happy that they are here,” says Mrs. Porter. “The Taubs corroborate her sentiments. Mrs. Taub shares, “We’re so happy here!” And Rabbi Taub adds, “It is a very, very nice experience to be here together with the children. It is a special house; a special home. It is very warm and brings people together. People enjoy it very much. The Porters are really giving back to the community here, and it is an experience. I noticed when I moved to Baltimore that it has something that very few communities have: a tremendous warmth among the people. People are friendly, and the congregations are friendly with one another; everyone works together. It is a very wonderful thing to take part in such a community.”
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Marsha Grant’s mother, Emmy Mogilensky, a”h, who passed away this past July, is an example of someone who made a very successful late-life transition. She came to Baltimore from Albany in 1986, just six months after Marsha and her husband Avi had moved to Baltimore from Birmingham, Alabama.
Some time after her husband passed away, Mrs. Mogilensky mentioned to her daughter, during a phone conversation, that she felt very lonely and isolated, since many of her friends had passed away or moved away.
“I said to her, ‘Mommy, you don’t have to stay in Albany,’” recalls Mrs. Grant. “‘If you want to move, you can move.’ And she said, ‘You know, you are right.’ Then my mother, being my mother, sold her house within six weeks and moved into an apartment here in Baltimore. Mom was in her 60s and lived here for about 25 years. She was very, very happy, and made quite a life for herself in the community.”
Born in Germany, Mrs. Mogilensky’s youth was tragically disrupted by the war. When she was 16, her parents put her on a Kindertransport. This was the famous British rescue effort that brought 10,000 Jewish children to England from Nazi Germany. Though this brave action by her parents saved her life, it took the young Emmy a while to come to terms with the abrupt separation and the loss of her parents.
In England, she worked as a cook for the British army during the war. After the war, she got a teacher’s certificate and taught English literature for a year. Interestingly, Emmy met her husband in London. He was an American soldier who had requested an Orthodox home where he could have meals for the Yamin Noraim. The chaplain arranged for him to eat at Emmy’s foster parents’ home. After she came to America, they met again in New York City.
The Mogilenskys lived in Albany, where they raised their three children. “My father was a lawyer and my mother went to school for computer programming when I was in elementary school,” says Mrs. Grant. “She worked for SUNY (State University of New York), eventually becoming a systems analyst for them.”
When she got to Baltimore, Mrs. Mogilensky volunteered as a docent at the Jewish Historical Society in the Lloyd Street shul, and was eventually hired as their program director, a position she held for many years. After her retirement, and with her knowledge of German, Mrs. Mogilensky volunteered at the Red Cross Holocaust Tracing Center, here in Baltimore, and helped many survivors find lost relatives after 60 or 70 years.
She also volunteered with the Federation Speaker’s Bureau, talking about her experiences in the Holocaust. She spoke at many public and private schools in the area. Often, she would return year after year to the same school. The tenth-grade teacher from one school actually came to the shiva house.
Mrs. Mogilensky loved to needlepoint and embroider. “When we moved into our house and she saw our large brick fireplace, my mother wanted to get me a picture to hang over it. The poster I picked was out of print, so she had an artist paint it in on canvas, and Mom made a gorgeous needlepoint of it.
“Before our oldest son was married, she designed and created a family chupa. The chupa is white velvet with removable squares, each one embroidered with the name of one of her children and grandchildren and their spouse. As each grandchild gets engaged, the square is removed in order to add the name of the new chassan or kalla, embroidered in gold thread and then reattached to the chupa. The middle of the chupa is a needlepoint of the stained glass window at the Lloyd Street Synagogue downtown.
“Mom loved living in Baltimore,” says Mrs. Grant. “She would come every Friday night for dinner but wanted her independence, so she didn’t come for Shabbos lunch. She only occasionally babysat for my children, because she was busy with her own life. It worked out to be a great arrangement. She had her own apartment and her own friends. She didn’t feel dependent on me for any sort of social life, so it was a healthy arrangement. In the last couple of years, my mother was much more dependent on me, so it was such a bracha that she was in town and I was always able to be there for her.
“I think I am going to follow in my mother’s footsteps,” Mrs. Grant concludes, “because my husband and I are planning, iy”H, to move to Eretz Yisrael, this summer, where three out of four of our kids and grandchildren are. I’ll miss Baltimore, but it makes sense.”
Margie Pensak-2015
