Kimpa…What??
by Devora Schor
“Having a baby is earth
shattering,” says Judy Yankelove, a local lactation consultant. “A new mother
needs support. She should eat right, get rest, find friends to talk to, and ask
for help from friends and family.”
This advice seems
obvious, and this was how new mothers were treated in Europe. My father, who
was born in Germany in 1930, told me that women stayed in bed for two weeks
after giving birth. However, times have changed, and women today are reluctant
to take it easy. Or perhaps our very busy lives make it difficult. Even the
healthcare professionals have abandoned the “old-fashioned” ways and send new
mothers and babies home after 24 hours, unless there is some complication.
Many years ago, my
children’s carpool got into an accident on the way to school, and the children
were taken to the hospital. I went to the hospital with my father to see my
child, even though my new baby was just four days old. I remember how worried
my father was that I was walking around like a regular person. He kept telling
me to sit down, and then he sent me home. In his mind, I was supposed to be in
bed!
Whenever I had a
baby, I used to go to my mother’s house, where she took care of me and my other
children. Once I gave birth in the birthing center on Park Heights Avenue (in
the building where the chasidish
daycare is now). They sent me and the baby home after six hours, as was their
policy, and I remember my mother being very nervous about having the
responsibility for such a new baby.
Being a Kimpatorin
The period after
birth is called postpartum and usually lasts for six to eight weeks. A woman
must recover her strength following the ordeal of pregnancy and birth. In
addition to that, having a new baby in the house quickly dispenses with the
thought that survival is possible only if one has a full night of uninterrupted
sleep. Most new babies need care and feeding around the clock and do not
understand that night is for sleeping. The challenge is for the new mother to
get rest anyway.
Leave it to Yiddish
to come up with a colorful word to describe a new mother: kimpatorin. The
word – which may come from the German/Yiddish word kindbett, or the bed on which a new mother convalesces – also
connotes all the pampering that befits the mother’s important accomplishment
and role. Even if she feels perfectly fine during that period, it is important
to realize that she is “kimpating” and put everyday chores
on hold.
“New mothers need a
lot more support than they are currently getting,” says midwife Atara Klein,
CPML, DEM. “A mother should not be driving for two weeks after giving birth,
and she certainly should not be driving carpool. Friends and family should try
to provide babysitting help, cleaning help, and just general help to run the
household.”
Bayla Berkowitz, CNM,
MSN, who does home births, adds that resting for two weeks prevents problems
down the line. “It makes it less likely that a woman will suffer from postpartum
depression, and it helps foster a good nursing relationship. Babies sometimes
have trouble nursing because the mothers are tired and harried, and the babies
are being carted here and there instead of being in bed with the mother.”
AIM Aims to Help
Here in Baltimore,
we are lucky enough to have a new organization whose purpose is to help new
mothers. Here is what Yael Schwarzenberger, the executive director of that
organization, told me about AIM.
Why was AIM established?
Having a baby is
among the most exciting events in one’s life. However, in addition to being a time of joy,
this period can also present considerable challenges for women, including lack
of sleep, fatigue, pain, lactation difficulties, stress, the “baby blues,” and
new onset or exacerbation of mental health disorders. The postpartum period is
a time of tremendous change, responsibility, and healing. Therefore, the care
one receives after giving birth is just as important as prenatal care. It is
for this reason that the Association for Infants and Mothers (AIM) was
established.
Who does AIM service?
The organization
began with helping a couple of families within one geographic area, however
since its inception, AIM has serviced close to 400 families all over the
Baltimore Jewish community – from Ranchleigh to Stevenson, Pickwick to
Cheswolde, Park Heights to Yeshiva Lane – and the feedback has been remarkable.
AIM is here
for all mothers during this most exciting yet challenging time and is
constantly looking for new ways to help women and their families regain
well-being and improve their quality of life after having a baby.
What services do you offer
new mothers?
One of the keys to
success during this postpartum period is a strong support network. When
the mother has the proper support and help, everyone around her, including her
baby, other children, and husband benefit. Currently, we are providing dinners
for two weeks (regardless of whether they are receiving a meal train),
including a fully catered Shabbos, cleaning help, and high school volunteers,
thanks to Bais Yaakov and Bnos Yisroel, who come to assist with the other
children. Every mother who registers also receives a personal visit with a
delicious lunch and baby gift. To register, volunteer, or help support this
amazing organization and allow us to continue to service our community, please
visit www.aimbaltimore.com.
