Aryeh Leib Freedman did his “homework” before he spearheaded the formation of Misaskim of Maryland, a full year ago, in memory of his father, Rabbi Mendel (Menachem Mendel Don ben Aryeh Leib) Freedman, z”l, longtime principal of Bais Yaakov of Baltimore. This homework included conferring with Sol Levinson and Bros. as well as with the Chevra Kadisha to gauge the volume of services needed. So Aryeh Leib was surprised by the higher than anticipated numbers of aveilim (mourners) that the eight-member volunteer organization serviced in its first year: over 150 shiva houses and over 350 aveilim (mourners).
“It was a lot more than we expected,” remarks Aryeh Leib. “We had heard there would be about 50 to 60 shiva houses per year. However, because many people sit shiva in Baltimore for levayas (funerals) held out of town, the numbers are much higher.”
The locally-run, independent non-profit 501(c)(3) organization, which is modeled after the New York-based Misaskim, has alleviated the last-minute scrambling by Baltimore aveilim for shiva house items and other needs above what Levinson’s and other organizations already graciously provide for community members. These include: sifrei Torah, each with an aron kodesh; siddurim in nusach Ashkenaz, Sefard, Ari, and Edot Hamizrach; shtenders; a bima for laining; low aveilim chairs and tray tables; a lending library of English and Hebrew sefarim about the halachos of mourning; and Mishnayos charts, among other items. Air conditioners, fans, and heaters are also provided when needed.
When Misaskim first started, Mr. Dovid Davis, stepped up to donate two sifrei Torah for use in shiva houses. As the greater need became apparent, the Tuchman family, Chaim Pollack family, and Gershon Seidel family also lent sifrei Torah to Misaskim. Recently, the Zobdeh and Moeinzadeh families kindly donated a Sefardi sefer Torah for use by Misaskim as well.
Looking Forward
As Misaskim embarks upon its second year of servicing aveilim in the greater Baltimore community and beyond, it has initiated an expanding array of services to further its mission of shiva bereavement support and kavod hameis (respect for the dead). Practical logistics would have prevented this expansion if not for the generosity of the Boehm family of Seven Mile Market, which is sponsoring a new, enlarged cargo van with a custom-built interior.
“Once in service, this new van will enable us to deliver several additional items so we can help aveilim even more,” says Aryeh Leib. “The variety of items that aveilim and shiva houses require will no longer need to be obtained from multiple sources. Misaskim is now a one-stop shop. A single phone call to its 24-hour Emergency Hotline will provide access to delivery of everything aveilim will need.”
The Boehm/Retter family knows, first-hand, what Misaskim does for our community. “Unfortunately, our family has made use of Misaskim’s services this year, twice in the span of a month, and their staff was unbelievably supportive and sensitive to our needs,” shares Mrs. Chana Boehm Retter. “In addition to the obvious emotional difficulty that one experiences while sitting shiva, there are physical hardships as well, and this is where Misaskim has done such a wonderful job in relieving some of that burden.”
“Misaskim is there to take care of all the needs of a shiva house, from low comfortable shiva chairs to different nuschaos of siddurim, hilchos aveilus books, and beyond,” adds Hershel Boehm. “Their quick, caring, and professional services come with a willingness to do whatever is necessary to alleviate some of the pain and discomfort of the aveilim and their families. In order to continue to do this, they needed a bigger vehicle outfitted the right way to accommodate all their special equipment. Our family is proud to help Misaskim so their services can benefit the community even more.”
Beyond the Shiva House
In addition to providing shiva house items, Misaskim of Maryland has been involved in other efforts to ensure kavod hameis. Misaskim has helped prevent numerous cremations, working in conjunction with Rabbi Ariel Sadwin of Agudath Israel of Maryland. There have already been situations where a niftar (deceased) successfully received proper kevuras Yisrael (Jewish burial) even after being dropped off at a crematorium, r”l, or being “donated” to science.
Another area in which Misaskim has unfortunately needed to be active in its first year has been to ensure kavod hameis for those who died unnatural deaths. To further this mission of ensuring proper kavod hameis in all cases, Aryeh Leib and cofounder Menachem Levitansky held a meeting with Misaskim of New York. “We learned a lot about the proper procedures and best methods for this avoda (service) when it is needed,” relates Menachem. “We took that information and met with Rav Heinemann, who guided us on the proper minhagim that should be followed in our community”.
Adds Aryeh Leib, “In the past, there was no system, no minhagim, no real direction; everyone just kind of figured it out as it happened. Although most people prefer not to think about it, someone needs to go and clean up at the scene to ensure that everything is handled in accordance to halacha. Recently, we trained 15 volunteers – members of Misaskim and the Chevra Kadisha – so that if, chas veshalam, the need arises again, they will be able to deal with such cases in a community-wide, universally accepted way.”
“In most Jewish communities, there are organizations that go directly to the hospital and deal with the niftar there,” explains Menachem. “Here in Baltimore, this generally has not been done. Therefore, there may be omissions before the body gets to Sol Levinson’s. These may include blood in a line or around the body at the time of death, which would require proper kevurah. Other issues can be as simple as the proper way to remove the niftar from the room. It is an issue of kavod hameis, and we are trying to fill that void.”
With the encouragement of the Vaad Harabbanim, Misaskim recently met with the administration of Sinai Hospital to discuss the idea of volunteers helping willing families in the hospital setting as they go through a loss. The hospital is very interested in being involved and plans to educate its department staff members about Misaskim protocol. “Calling Misaskim right away will ensure that our volunteers can get there promptly and that proper disconnect and other procedures are followed before the meis is taken from the hospital,” notes Menachem. “In the near future, we plan to expand this initiative to other facilities and homes.”
Menachem also notes that numerous community members and loved ones have suggested that people have trouble knowing what to do either immediately before or at the time of the petira (death). “Many resources for end-of-life protocol are based on lengthy sefarim or books, and it is difficult to figure out what to do in the last 10 minutes of someone’s life,” mentions Aryeh Leib. “So, under the direction of Rav Heinemann, we are creating and distributing a very simple brochure that will include basic protocol instructions, including what tefilos to say, what to do, and whom to call. It is a very challenging time, and there is enough to figure out as it is. This will make certain aspects of the process very simple.”
A Proactive Minyan APProach
“We heard from many community rabbanim, and by now have seen firsthand, that one of the greatest challenges to aveilim is getting minyanim at their shiva houses” notes Menachem. “Chaverim has a community chat group that has done an incredible job helping aveilim obtain shiva house minyanim. However, it is a very reactive approach, with a small number of dedicated individuals scrambling to cover a minyan, usually well after its starting time. It is hard to believe, but even in places like Lakewood and New York, shiva houses have problems getting a minyan!”
Aryeh Leib concurs. “It does not matter who you are or where you are – if you are well known, not well-known, if you are well-connected or not well-connected. We have experienced shiva houses that have all the “meilos” (advantages): good, well-known families that live in good locations, etc. It does not matter; this problem affects everyone.”
Misaskim is therefore introducing a new initiative: a custom-built platform and App to help shiva houses complete a minyan. Friends and community members will be able to sign up on the Misaskim website and commit to attending any minyan they are able to attend. The listing will let them know which days/minyanim are covered and to what extent they are still in need of volunteers. Additionally, Misaskim will give every shiva house a tablet computer that will enable the mourners to indicate their need for additional men to complete a minyan in real time, should it not yet have a minyan by the scheduled start time. Those who sign up to volunteer for minyanim through their shul, Chaverim, etc., will receive an alert either by text message, email, or phone call, per their preference.
As important as it is to let potential volunteers know when there is a need, it is just as important to the success of this initiative to let those potential volunteers know when there is no longer a need. If two more men are needed for a shiva house minyan, for example, as soon as two men respond “yes” to this alert, indicating they are coming to help make the minyan, an all-clear message will be sent out to other potential volunteers to inform them that no additional men are needed.
“This new platform will proactively arrange shiva minyanim by activating an intuitive reactive component when needed,” says Aryeh Leib. “There is no use in overcrowding a shiva house or being an extra person. It will alleviate people getting upset, having dropped everything to run to a shiva minyan and finding that they were not needed. People will be much more motivated to help when they can be confident that they are really helping make that difference.
“Despite not having launched yet, we have already heard from other communities who are interested in this platform,” continues Aryeh Leib. “If it is proven and it works, we will gladly share it with any other community. The point is to help people out, wherever they are.”
Whatever It Takes
Misaskim emphasizes that it is here to help with whatever its volunteers can do, including things that are outside of the box. “Our volunteers are amazing,” exclaims Aryeh Leib. “They step up, roll up their sleeves, and do what needs to be done in any situation. People call us with all sorts of logistical problems, whether it is getting a meis here in time for a tahara, levaya, or kevurah, or getting a meis to an airport in time. If it is erev Shabbos or erev Yom Tov, we might need to meet the New York, Monsey, or Lakewood Misaskim half-way.”
As Rav Moshe Hauer of Bnai Jacob Shaarei Zion Congregation sums it up: “Misaskim is providing a beautiful service, making life a bit more comfortable when people need comfort, and relieving families of having to address some of the technical logistical challenges that crop up when preparing, r”l, for shiva. They do it efficiently, quietly, and pleasantly, in a modest and caring manner.”
Adds Rav Mordechai Shuchatowitz of Agudath Israel Greenspring/Adath Yeshurun Mogen Abraham, “Aryeh Leib Freedman and Menachem Levitansky and their group of trained volunteers keep coming up with more ways to be of assistance in such trying times…Such chesed among our people brings forth Heavenly chesed to our people, wherever it may be, so there’s no telling how far their chesed extends. As a personal beneficiary of their kindness, I say a very hearty yasher ko’ach. May they be with hatzlacha and bracha ad beiyas hagoyel bimheirah beyameinu. Amen.”
For further information about sponsorship opportunities, or to volunteer for Misaskim, please visit misaskimmd.org or call 443-265-2300.
