I’ve gotten out of
the habit of swimming. I was in the pool for the first time in many months, but
Baruch Hashem, once I was in, it felt
like I never left. Well, almost. Before my long hiatus from the pool, I could
swim 12 laps in 30 minutes without an issue. Yesterday, I was wiped out after
pushing myself to finish 10. But I’m determined to get back into the groove
again. It’s been too long, and I’ve run out of excuses.
I was so proud of
myself after I came out of the pool, and it felt good to be exhausted when I
went to bed last night. Swimming does that to me, but it would be better if I
reminded myself of that fact more often, to help me stay on track.
It’s hard to stay
regimented. I think of my parents,
who have been exercising their whole lives every day without fail. They’ve
always gone to bed at the same time each night, and they make sure to eat a
well-balanced breakfast in the mornings and don’t nosh in between meals.
I made sure our
children kept to a healthy schedule when they were younger, and marvel at how
my husband does it to this day. I can do that, too, but only sometimes, and it
never seems to last. One morning I’ll pour myself a bowl of healthy cereal
topped with fresh blueberries and almond milk, and the rest of the week, I’ll
grab a protein bar and a water bottle as I head out the door. Although I
usually make nourishing meals for dinner, sometimes I’m just not interested in
eating them. Meatballs, roast, or chicken very often lose their appeal and
aren’t tantalizing to my taste buds. Truth-be-told, if it would be healthy for
me, I’d much rather eat appetizers for both lunch and dinner. I’d love a
sampling of fried wantons, grilled chicken wings, and pad tai. And mozzarella
sticks and nachos with cheese sounds great. I could eat pizza every night
without a problem, and cold pizza for lunch is an absolute favorite.
I sincerely try to
go to bed by 11 each night, unless I’m in the middle a terrific novel, which
happens every time I get a stack of books from our local Jewish library. Too
often, by the time I look at the clock, it says midnight – or worse. But I love
it late at night when all is quiet and peaceful. And I appreciate the fact that
I don’t have to be up first thing in the morning. Even if I have an early
morning appointment the next day, it’s no trouble at all waking up after
sleeping less than an optimal time. I don’t groan when it’s time to wake up
after a short night’s sleep, nor do I have that feeling of not knowing where I
am while struggling to wipe the sleep from my eyes as my adult children do.
I’ve moved past that stage altogether.
I like the idea of
getting to bed at a reasonable hour each night and enjoy discussing the
benefits of eating properly, but they’re not my usual patterns of behavior.
It’s harder to maintain a more rigorous schedule without children to cook for
or a job to wake up to each day. I’m just not in the habit anymore. The added
benefit is that it’s nice to relax the reins and do what I like.
I know it’s a good
idea to focus on what is best for my health, and I try to do that. When I find
myself going off track, I steer myself back in the right direction, sometimes.
And other times, I enjoy myself to the fullest. But not to worry. I won’t let
myself get carried away to an extreme. I don’t have a standing order at the
pizza shop, nor do I stay up until three a.m. every night.
While being
healthy is a good thing to do, I think it’s okay to allow myself the freedom to
let go sometimes. I guess I pick and choose what’s most important to me. I
spend more time trying to improve my middos
and working hard to be the best I can be in my relationships with my family and
friends while davening to Hashem to help me to be a better person.
Tomorrow I’m
making a nourishing chicken soup for Shabbos but have no idea what we’re having
for dinner tonight. Out of habit, my mind automatically turns to the appetizer
menu at my favorite restaurant, and franks-in-blanks with potato knishes sounds
heavenly.
Zahava Hochberg
created the weekly column, “Musings Through a Bifocal Lens” for the Monsey Mevaser newspaper. She also
created a new section for the paper, called
“The Silver Slant.”
Zahava can be reached at zahava.hochberg17@gmail.com
