My body has become
one giant exercise regimen. “Pull in my stomach.” “Remember to do my morning
exercise practice – but wait, it’s already mid-afternoon.” I was pretty good
about getting into a steady routine until my kids came erev Shabbos. I thought about the exercises I needed to do while
putting up the cholent. Before I turned around, it was four o’clock, and I knew
it wasn’t going to happen. But I did remember to stand up straight for a few
moments when opening the door to the breakfront. Between washing the kitchen
floor, putting the food into the oven to warm, and moving the Shabbos
candlesticks to a safer location, I remembered bits and pieces like, “It’s time
to drink some water.” “Hold in my core but relax my shoulders.”
“One, two, three,
four, and rest two, three, four.” I was at it again this morning. I like to
take care of all my exercises at one time so I don’t forget to do them. When I
went to my physical therapy session the other day, my therapist kindly showed
me how I wasn’t doing some of the exercises properly. It reminded me of when I
learned to play golf many years ago. The instructor showed me the correct
stance and how to hold the clubs. It was the weirdest position to maintain, and
I had to hit the ball too! I remember learning from the golf pro that if it
felt awkward, I was doing something right. My thoughts returned to my therapist
as she asked me to hold in my core while at the same time keeping my chin
tucked.
These new
exercises of mine are hard to do and take concentration to perform correctly.
I’m noticing how difficult it is to be consistent in doing them. The idea to
throw my shoulders back or to stand up tall just pops in, then out of my head
while I’m stirring the spaghetti sauce or clearing the table. Old habits are
definitely hard to break. My therapist taught me that crossing my legs isn’t
good for my back, and I find myself crossing them before quickly uncrossing
them throughout my day.
I’m beginning to
understand that proper posture is all about awareness. In fact, I’m learning
these days that most things are about awareness. Awareness makes many things
possible. It can change a person's outlook on life. We all are creatures of
habit and are used to reacting to people in the ways we’ve always done. I’m
finding that the more I become aware of my actions, the better I am at changing
them when necessary. I become an observer and notice how another person is
feeling as a result of what I say to them. My sensitivities become heightened,
which gives me time to pause and change the way I react to them. It’s kind of
like being in slow motion. By getting out of my own groove, I have a chance to
think about the situation.
Self-awareness can
be a powerful tool toward self-improvement. It separates the men from the boys
and the chaff from the grain. Being aware helps us become menschen. It takes us out of our automatic responses and gets us to
stop and think about others and ourselves. It’s empowering in the best way
possible by giving us control over our own behaviors.
Awareness is about
taking the high road to becoming a better person. It’s about noticing our
thoughts and actions as much as possible. It’s hard work and is something that
has to be at the forefront of our minds. Just as with the exercises I am
learning to do each day, I am standing tall and proud and learning to become
more self-aware. I think of the many great people in my community and
throughout our history who spent their whole lives working to perfect their middos. I always wanted to do that, too,
and now, with Hashem’s help, little by little, I am.
Zahava
Hochberg is a weekly columnist for the Monsey Mevaser newspaper. She has created two columns for the paper
and is regularly featured in the Where What When. Zahava can be reached at
zahava.hochberg17@gmail.com.
