These past few months, I have been writing a series of articles about substance abuse as a part of Chayeinu organization’s efforts to provide education and guidance to our community regarding substance use disorder. While we might wish it were otherwise, substance abuse is not a stranger to our community. The unfortunate fact is that there is a strong probability that our children will drink or use drugs before graduating high school. The numbers in the United States are persuasive and alarming. Before completing high school, 60 percent of teenagers report drinking alcohol, 40 percent report vaping nicotine, 40 percent report smoking marijuana, and 20 percent report smoking traditional cigarettes. About 15 percent report using illicit drugs other than marijuana. And these are only the kids who choose to talk about their substance use!
I believe that these unfortunate statistics make it mandatory for us, as parents, to speak with our children about alcohol and drugs. While our percentages might be lower than those of the society at large, as our children become teenagers, they will be exposed to alcohol and drugs from a variety of sources. They may watch movies with people drinking alcohol and using drugs, and read books and magazines that discuss what it is like to get high. They may have friends and family members who drink, vape, or use drugs. They may hear many arguments to legalize marijuana and other drugs. They may view YouTube videos exploring new strategies for smoking marijuana or mixing drugs. And, closer to home, they may attend simchas in which some of their friends and family members, including other children, drink alcohol to the point of intoxication.
To prevent substance use problems, the most important thing that parents can do is to create a strong and trusting relationship with their children. Research shows that this type of relationship delays the onset of alcohol and drug use, and prevents problems when teenagers make choices to use substances. In general, we support engaging in open and sincere communication, setting clear expectations and boundaries, and respecting the need for privacy and independence. When speaking with our children about these matters, we must consider the types of pressures they face on a daily basis, which may include more access to alcohol and drugs, peer and media influences, and social and academic expectations and concerns.
We have also noted previously that certain kids are at more risk for using substances and developing addiction, especially those who have parents who have a substance use disorder. Children with ADHD, depression, anxiety, a history of trauma, or other emotional concerns are also more vulnerable to developing substance use disorder. While talking about the dangers of alcohol and drugs with vulnerable children remains important, helping them find appropriate treatment is often crucial for their long-term wellbeing. The good news is these types of conditions are highly treatable, and that the earlier these children receive care, the less likely it is that they will use drugs to medicate uncomfortable symptoms.
As parents, we have an opportunity to provide correct information on alcohol and drugs. We know that as our kids get older they will be exposed to considerable amount of misinformation on the subject. And like most teenagers, they may work hard to use truthful information to pose arguments challenging the status quo. For example, they will note that their great aunt smoked unfiltered cigarettes until the age of 100. They will remind you that Barack Obama and Bill Gates once smoked marijuana, and that cannabis is now legal in many states and is often prescribed for a number of medical conditions. They will argue that some of our most famous authors, like William Faulkner and F. Scott Fitzgerald, drank a whole lot of alcohol, and they might identify funded studies demonstrating that red wine can actually promote good health. They will show you proof that vaping nicotine is much safer than smoking combustible cigarettes. They will teach you that some stimulants can help children with ADHD, and others are prescribed to help people lose weight. The point is that drugs can help and hurt, it is all very complicated, and we must be prepared to answer sincere questions on this topic.
To address these issues further, we have invited Rabbi Yakov Horowitz to speak with the community on December 18, 8:00 p.m., at the Liberty Jewish Center – Anshei Emunah Congregation. Rabbi Horowitz is dean of Yeshiva Darchei Noam in Monsey, and the director of Project Y.E.S. (Youth Enrichment Services). He is a recognized leader in helping parents raise children to be resilient in the face of contemporary challenges. He will speak to us about effective strategies for talking to our children about alcohol and drug use.
Dr. Kidorf is Associate Director of Addiction Treatment Services and Associate Professor, Psychiatry and Behavioral Sciences, at Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine.
