Dear Mr. Weisbord,
My married children came for Pesach, and after being together for a week, I got a good look how they are bringing up their children. I saw them screaming at their kids, punishing unfairly, and just “losing their cool.”
Both mother and father work, which they feel is necessary in order to provide for the family. Their long hours most likely contributes to their impatience, as they are always busy, with very little time to just “hang out” with their children and develop a relationship. I don’t know the details of their finances, of course, nor do I want to. But I did notice the expensive new clothes they were wearing and their constant talk about what they’ve bought recently and what they’re going to buy.
I feel I have some perspective and experience that could help my children avoid the things that I clearly see could lead to trouble in future years. But can I tell them what I think? The current “wisdom” on how to relate to married children seems to be “shut your mouth and open your wallet.” But how can I stand by and let my children make serious mistakes? Is that really a good way to perpetuate the values of family from generation to generation?