It is the night after the vort. The happy crowds have gone home. The food is put away, and the floor is vacuumed. But the big Mazal Tov sign still hangs on the wall, and the parents, along with the chasan and kalla, are still smiling at the memory of the kisses, hugs, and brachos that embraced them so warmly the night before.
Now reality sets in. The parents worry: “How are we going to find the money to set up this new couple? It is not only the wedding expenses that loom on the horizon but also all the dishes, pots and pans, cutlery, bedding, and appliances that are necessary for a new household. The kalla shares their concern. It seems so important to be able to start off married life as an independent young couple with all the items that are crucial to the functioning of a home.
An organization called Simchas Esther has stepped in to help Baltimore kallos set up their homes if they do not have the financial means to do so on their own. Launched 12 years ago at a meeting in the Hexters’ dining room, the organization was named in memory of Mrs. Esther Lemberger, a”h, who was very involved with the mitzva of hachnasas kalla during her life. Realizing the need for such an organization in the growing community of Baltimore, the women approached every Orthodox rabbi in the city with the idea; all of them gave their haskama (approval). A year after Simchas Esther began, it expanded to help Baltimore’s chassanim. Since its initiation, the organization has helped 351 kallos and 173 chassanim, with the number of requests increasing each year. In 2012, they helped 57 kallos and 20 chassanim. Mrs. Helen Hexter and Mrs. Judy Neuberger, two of the board members of Simchas Esther, shared with me the inner workings of this generous organization.
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Devorah Schor: I understand that your budget last year was $122,000. How do you raise that money?
Simchas Esther: Most of the money is raised from the wonderful people in the community. A few of our women have undertaken the responsibility of fundraising and make many calls. The response has been heartwarming and generous. This is a tzedaka that touches people’s hearts. It serves our local community and, it has a happy purpose. Everybody likes to help a young couple get a good start in life. Not a week goes by without a letter in the mail with a contribution. Families are helped in a very discrete and bekavodik (dignified) manner so that their pride and privacy remain intact.
DS: Do you have any other ways to make money?
SE: We have a program called Chodesh Gelt. People sign up and offer to give a donation every month. They can either specify an amount or give a different amount each time. We will send them a reminder envelope each month with their receipt for last month’s donation. We would love to have more people sign up. It is an easy way to help us on a regular basis.
We also put on a Purim shpeil every year right around Purim time. Women enjoy coming, supporting a good cause, and having a good laugh. This year we weren’t able to find a good script, so we are not having the play, but next year, iy”H, we will be back. If you know of a funny play that would be suitable for Simchas Esther’s annual Purim shpeil, please get in touch with us.
We also had a community-wide mailing a year-and-a-half ago. A beautiful hadlakas neiros card was sent out. We are still receiving responses from that.
DS: What do the chassanim and kallos receive?
SE: Since our inception, we have been the beneficiaries of two wonderful tzedakas in New York. One is called Yad Batya L’Kallah and one is called Chasdei Chashie L’kallah. Chasdei Chashie helps with beds. They provide either twin beds or 48” beds. Yad Batya L’Kallah provides a package of many useful items for the household. Simchas Esther hires a driver a few times a year to pick up Yad Batya L’Kallah packages from New York. We store them here and give them out to kallos as needed. Because these organizations are willing to help our Baltimore kallos, Simchas Esther supplements what the other tzedakos don’t give.
DS: What does Simchas Esther provide?
SE: We provide money towards a sheitel and clothing, and a standard package of many other useful things that are commonly used in a home.
DS: Where are all the appliances and other items stored, and how do you buy them?
SE: Someone in our community volunteered to keep all the items in his house and restocks for us when we are getting close to running out.
DS: You seen to have covered almost everything that a young couple would need to start of their house! Do you offer any other services?
SE: We also have a gift room set up in a cedar closet in a private house. People donate gifts that they received and don’t need. For example, newlyweds might have received five challa boards, six challa covers, and four wine decanters. Even though they may all be beautiful, a family can only use one or two of each item. They donate their unused, unopened items to us and the kallos are welcome to take whatever they want from that closet. The kallos really love this, and it doesn’t cost a cent. If anyone has brand new items that they would like to donate, please call one of us.
DS: I heard that families making simchas can get tablecloths through Simchas Esther. Is that true?
SE: Yes, we have a gemach called Ateres Chaya Gitty, in memory of Chaya Gitty Hess, a”h. We rent tablecloths for simchas at the low cost of three dollars apiece. We also ask people who borrow the tablecloths to give a donation of any amount to Simchas Esther. We have a very large selection of beautiful tablecloths in a variety of colors and sizes. They are stored at the home of Rachel Mandel. To complement the tablecloths, we have a tabletop gemach, which carries a large variety of candlesticks, vases, trifle bowls, and other items for people making simchas. People who want to borrow these items should contact Malka Zweig.
DS: What about chassanim?
SE: We started out only helping kallos but quickly began helping chassanim as well. The branch of Simchas Esther that is devoted to chassanim is called Minchas Asher, in the memory of Asher Prero, a”h, who was niftar a few years ago. We give each chassan a sizeable check for his personal needs.
DS: Do you help with expenses for the wedding itself?
SE: We have an interest-free loan gemach, called the R’ Binyomin Levik Bregin Gemach, that lends up to $5,000 towards the expenses of a chasana. It is run formally. Each borrower needs to have two cosigners. The borrower does not have to begin paying back the money until three months after the chasana, and can take up to two-and-a-half years to pay it back. This gemach is exclusively for people making chasanas.
DS: How do you find the chassanim and kallos who need your services?
SE: It is not a problem for us. Either the family or a friend of the chassan or kalla calls for them. We verify each person with their references and their rav to make sure that they are truly needy. Sometimes a family may look like they are comfortable and do not need any help, but appearances can be deceiving. A person may live in a big beautiful house but is unemployed. We don’t always know another person’s circumstances. We once had a family that was in a difficult financial circumstance although they appeared to be comfortable. We gave the Simchas Esther packages to their daughter. To our great surprise, a few years later, when their financial problem was resolved, they paid back every penny.
DS: Whom does Simchas Esther approach when they come across a question about the distribution of the tzedaka money?
SE: We ask Rabbi Hopfer all our questions. He has been, and continues to be, extremely helpful and provides wonderful guidance. The other rabbanim in the community are also supportive and helpful when we approach them.
DS: Thank you for spending time telling me about this wonderful organization. It is really wonderful to be part of a community where we care for one another.â—†
If you would like to donate to Simchas Esther or join the Chodesh Gelt program, please call Mrs. Helen Hexter, Mrs. Aviva Isbee, Mrs. Shulamis Juravel, or Mrs. Judy Neuberger.
