I haven’t had little children in my house for a long time, but one thing I remember is the big mess that toys make. In a very short period, a clean house can look like a tsunami hit it. Pieces of toys are strewn all over the floor, and the children in the house are playing with an empty cardboard box!
Whenever I think of a topic for an article, I ask my
son-in-law Avi if it says anything about this topic in the gemara. I
didn’t really think there would be anything about toys in the gemara,
but to my surprise, there was. Avi told me that in the gemara Yuma it
talks about taking care of a young child. Abayah relates that his rebbe (and
adoptive father) Rabba would buy cracked dishes for a low price to give to his
children so they could have the fun of breaking them. It seems that even
children in the time of the gemara liked to make a mess.
Children like to
play with items that they see adults use. That’s why many little girls love to
play house and be the Mommy. They are copying their own mothers. A child who
grew up as a caveman probably liked to play with sticks because he saw his
parents use sticks to protect themselves from animals or to hunt them for food.
Ancient Egyptian children played with toy crocodiles with moving jaws. (Perhaps
this was during the period of the plague of the frogs!) In the Middle Ages, wealthy
children played with toy soldiers and horses. (Perhaps they were pretending to
be Crusaders.) (World Book Encyclopedia)
Child Ingenuity
A toy does not have to be purchased from Amazon to be a toy. And it does not have to
look like an adult item, because the child’s imagination can turn it into
whatever he or she wants. Stones and acorn cups can be changed magically into
costly diamonds, cups and saucers, or secret treasures. Corn cobs can turn into
babies (from the book Little House in the
Big Woods), and buttons can turn into families. My friend’s mother played
“store” during her childhood in Czechoslovakia, making “paprika” by scraping red
bricks. When I was a child, I loved to play with my mother’s big jar
of buttons. I would make them into families according to color and size.
If you go into my
neighbor’s house on a Yom Tov, when her grandchildren are visiting, you will
see red plastic cups strewn over the living room. That is one of their favorite
toys, and they build elaborate towers out of them. Every year before Pesach she
throws them out and buys a new package of cups.
Chaya*, whose daughter
is 17 months old, says, “My
daughter loves toys that are not toys: empty water bottles, old phones, bulb
syringes, the wipes boxes, and especially ‘crinkly’ toys!”
I know that Chaya is right because I once bought a baby a present from a
toy store. It was just a piece of cloth with something crinkly inside, and the
baby loved it.
Tova shares, “My kids’ favorite toys started out with a set of 60 to 70 wooden
Keva planks that I found at a secondhand shop. We put them in a bin along with
free tile/flooring/carpet samples from Home Depot, leftover cubes of wood from
our sukkah, and slices of tree branches (that we took from a wedding where they
were part of the centerpiece). These are used for propping up train tracks to
make bridges, to line the floor as streets for toy cars, building elaborate
buildings, making rooms and furniture for mentchies, etc.
“Another activity we
enjoyed,” says Tova, “was using hangers and a laundry drying rack to make a
doll clothes store. When my kids were old enough to allow for small toys, I
bought a bag of stones from the dollar store (in the flower arrangement aisle)
and this has been a hugely popular
toy. They can be used as construction material with toy trucks, with ladles or
tongs (dollar store!) in a sensory bin, in containers as pretend food, and
more. They can be a pain to clean up but are very well enjoyed!”
In Eretz Yisrael, the children used to collect apricot pits, which they
called gago’im. They were used to
play all kinds of games and even traded for other things that were valuable in
the eyes of the children. Accumulating a large number of apricot pits was
considered prestigious.
Temima shares, “Something super-popular around here is our collection of
caps from applesauce and other jars. We have all different colors, and I’ve
saved them for years, until we have a large container of them. We sort them by
color into bowls, sometimes using tweezers or tongs. We use them to draw
pictures or form letters. We use them as pretend food or money. I also have
some drawer knobs that I kept when we threw out the dresser. My children call
them cookies and love to play with them.”
Real Toys
Despite the allure of non-toys, there are some manufactured toys that are
worth having, according to the mothers I surveyed. I sent out a request for
favorite toys, and here are responses I got.
Kayla writes, “Magna-Tiles! My two-and-a-half-year-old
daughter builds with them and loves them, and my teenage sons sometimes come
and ‘help’ her build.” Even though they are expensive, they are worth it as the
children play with them.”
Rikki writes, “My son is currently
obsessed with good old Lego. He’ll take a new set, disappear into his room and
resurface a few hours later with his new creation. He also spends endless hours
breaking and remaking old stuff and creating his own creative versions. I know
Lego is not for everyone, but when it is for you, it’s amazing!! We currently have a spare bedroom, which we labeled the ‘playroom,’
and all the Lego/toys stay in there or in my basement. I don’t even bother
cleaning that room. I let him leave everything out and just close the door so I
don’t need to see it. This allows him to pick up where he left off last time,
he played instead of always having to start from scratch.”
Adina writes, “We are big Playmobile
and Lego people. The entire basement gets set up with every set we own and
becomes a little town. The boys can play for hours on end.”
Sora writes, “Big trucks are
exciting, but I find that my children play with the little trucks more.
Sometimes I save the pencil shavings from an electric sharpener and put them in
a box and play with the construction vehicles in there. You can also do this
with beans, rice, or lentils.”
Play Is a Child’s Job
Play is a child’s job, but what do
you do if your child does not know how to entertain himself? I spoke to my
niece Nechama Lewenstein, who lives in Eretz Yisrael and is an occupational
therapist. An occupational therapist deals with tasks of daily living, and one
of the tasks of daily living is filling leisure time productively. Nechama
works with children in daycare centers and consults with their teachers. She
also wrote a book specifically for children to help them when they are bored.
“The teachers in the daycare
centers often ask me about a child that pulls hair and hits but doesn’t play. I
explain that the child is probably bored and needs some guidance on how to
play.
The first suggestion I give is to keep the play area organized so
it is clear what the activity is at this time. A mat for playing in a certain
area defines the place and you should have only one or two toys out at a time.
“I also explain to them that a
child can learn to play. If the teacher or even an older child makes it
exciting and interesting, the child will get excited about the game. For
example, you can take out the animals and blocks and tell the child about
building a zoo or a farm, or you can show a child how to be a mommy, a
baby, or a Daddy. Once the child catches on, they can play for a long time
using their own imagination.
“One way to encourage the child is
to ask questions, like ‘What do you think the Mommy will do now? Is she going
shopping or is she going to cook supper?’ If the game requires dexterity and
concentration, the rule is that a child’s attention span is one minute more
than his age. For example, if a three-year-old is stringing beads, he can
concentrate on the beads for about four minutes and then the adult needs to
come over and redirect.”
Nechama’s book, Windows to Play, currently only in
Hebrew, is for children over three years old and is designed so that the child
can understand the book on his own. Each page has only a few words and a big
picture of a simple imaginative activity.
Oy, the Mess
Dealing with the mess of toys depends on the family and the kids, of
course. Many years ago (about 30), I visited a family with many children. The
mother told me that in her house all the toys belonged to her. A child can only
take out a toy with permission and can only take out another one when the first
is returned. That probably eliminated a lot of the mess.
I heard from another grandmother that she was always worried about losing
pieces of toys. One night as she was tiredly counting Lego pieces to make sure
none were lost, she decided that she should probably get a job. Maybe she was
going nuts, and this was a little obsessive.
Another grandmother remembered that she spent a lot of time putting away
the toys each evening because she found that the children played for longer
when the toys were organized.
Shani Deutsch, an organizer who lives in Eretz Yisrael, gave me some tips
for organizing toys:
·
Keep the toys the kids are interested in now accessible. Alternate
the rest so that the toys become new and exciting again.
·
Just because it was gifted doesn’t mean you have to keep
it! If your kids don’t enjoy it, give it to someone else!
·
Only separate the pieces of toys – such as the doll
clothes from the dolls – if the kids can maintain it themselves. Otherwise,
it’s not worth making yourself crazy to constantly sort through them.
·
Keep toys with many pieces, like puzzles, high up. They
need to ask for it, and you will only allow them to take a new toy out when
it’s cleaned up and returned to you.
It was fun writing
this article and seeing the responses to my questions regarding toys. It seems
to be a subject close to people’s hearts. Thank you to all the people who took
the time to respond.
* All names are pseudonyms.
